So, we’re down to the final 2.  We’ve seen great performances, fantastic flops, and historical upsets.  I’m of course talking about the Next Great Sportswriter Competition.  After only 1 submission out of the final 3, I can predict, beyond a shadow of a doubt, which blogger will emerge victorious.  Remember, I’m the guy who predicted a month in advance that Duke’s first loss would be to Georgetown, so I’m clearly all knowing.

First, my worthless opinion on the 2 finalists.

TyHildenbrandt

For some reason as I read every one of Ty’s posts I can’t shake the feeling that he’s trying TOO hard to be a good writer, if that makes sense.  I feel that sports writing (especially blogs) should be as if you were talking to the person, free and easy…almost effortless.  Just check out these 2 sentences from ty’s last post:

“The aforementioned quarterback qualms weren’t the only woes to plague Pittsburgh this season.  In fact, the Steelers front office was forced to deal with an early season conundrum that shook the very foundation of Heinz Field and left many fans in an eerie state of imbalance.”

I can’t buy those sentences because I don’t feel anybody would ever speak like that.  If I don’t buy it, my interest wanes, and I end up skipping to the end.  Remember, all you Ty fans, this is my opinion and opinions are like a**holes…some just plain stink.  And, believe me, I understood every word he wrote and understood what he was getting at (I can see the comments already “your a dummy!  You don’t undahstand the words so you cry and knock a grate writer!  your just jealous!”  Please, Ty backers, spare us.)  The whole article just seemed forced to me, and the excess verbiage is just clutter.

Mustangj17

I have to say I’m extremely disappointed in the work I’ve seen from “The Gunn Show”.  Spelling and factual errors litter nearly all of his posts (he used a word, ‘penultimate’, that he didn’t even understand…and used incorrectly), and that makes it impossible for me to buy into anything he says.  But, the worst part of his blog is the way he changes it according to comments.  For instance, I made 2 comments on his finalist assignment and both were used to improve his article.  Like somebody noted, that’s not only a sign of a weak writer…it’s cheating.  He used my ideas as his own.  In his original article he foolishly listed future Hall of Famer Willie Roaf as “an oaf drafted before Jerome Bettis”, and in my critique I pointed out that Roaf has been to 11 Pro-Bowls.  I also noted that Bettis’ former college teammate, and colossal bust, Rick Mirer was drafted number 2 that year.  10 minutes after my comments were posted, mustangj17 changed his article to reflect MY thoughts and opinions.  This is one of the top 2 writers on this site?  (He also removed the curious and nonsensical statement that “Clemson is the Cleveland Browns of the ACC” after I made a comment that it made no sense…and it still doesn’t.)

Who will win?

As we’ve all found out, this contest has nothing to do with who the best writer is.  It has everything to do with who has the most friends, who has the most free-time, and who has the most friends with free-time.  After reviewing the Final 4 assignments and results, it’s clear that mustangj17’s army of voters has mobilized and is in prime postseason condition.  Basically, the only positive feedback he received from one of Foxsport’s impotent judges was for a picture of Sergeant Slaughter that mustangj (naturally) lifted from a pro wrestling trading card website.  Yet, improbably, mustangj managed to finish in first place after the votes were tallied!  This shows me that his crew is primed and ready to take the title for him.

But let’s not count out TyHildenbrandts’s legion of voters.  Remember, this is a guy who posted things like “Vote for Ty!” on AOL message boards and clearly has no shame in lobbying for votes.  His team definitely slacked a little bit last week, but in my opinion this was due to overconfidence.  I doubt we’ll be seeing that kind of lax attitude from him and his posse when it comes to voting this week.  This is crunch time Quick Slants, you’ve got to ramp it up!

But, in the end I think Jon Gunnell’s and his “The Gunn Show” crew will take the title of (sigh) Next Great Sportswriter.  Last week I saw something special from them, and I expect the momentum to carry over.

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As for that other thing this weekend.

2 terrible things happened to the Pittsburgh Steelers after they beat up on the Denver Bronco’s 2 weeks ago.  The first thing to go wrong was the 2-week break between the AFC Championship game and the Super Bowl.  The Steelers were riding an unprecedented playoff winning streak, beating the top 3 seeds in the AFC on the road…on 3 consecutive Sundays.  On the fourth Sunday, they rested.  Believe me, that one’s going to hurt.  Their entire routine has been thrown off, and that’s a terrible thing to happen to anybody on a hot streak, whether it’s on the football field or at the blackjack table.

The other thing that doomed Pittsburgh was the point spread.  Las Vegas placed the 6^th seed Steelers as a 4-point favorite over the 1 seed Seahawks.  Huh?  I know the Steelers are riding a wave of popularity not seen since the Denver Bronco’s and John Elway played, but giving 4 points?!  To the best team in the NFC?!  Seattle has 5 offensive players starting in the Pro Bowl, has been the class of the NFC and had been very impressive in their 2 playoff victories.  Bad news Steelers, you can’t use the underdog/disrespected label anymore…but the Seahawks certainly can.  All playoffs long the Steelers were the team with the chips on their shoulder, but the tables have turned.  On Sunday, instead of playing without anything to lose, thanks to this Jerome Bettis nonsense and favorite status, they have everything to lose…and lose they will.

My imaginary finalist assignment in 2 sentences:

The team that deserves to win is the better team.  The Seahawks have been the better team all season, and remain the better team.

Final Score

Seattle 24  Pittsburgh 13

A few things about my blog yesterday, it was my most popular yet! 15 comments and counting.  I even made the most popular area.  Amazing!  It seems the blog that landed me on the most popular list is also my LEAST popular blog (and the only with the most grammatical errors).  Thanks to everybody who wrote a comment, especially those who disagree with me.  I just wanted to add 2 things.

1.      -When I mentioned Yankee-hating hacks, I never meant that towards fellow bloggers.  I was directing my ire at paid columnists, like Ian O’Connor.  Sorry, I should have clarified that more.  Everything’s fair game in the blogging world, so keep up the good work, I wasn’t trying to bash any of you.

2.      -Some final points about Antonio Davis, and then I’ll stop…I promise.  When fans don’t respect the boundaries between the field of play and the stands they are given prison sentences.  Shouldn’t we expect the players to respect those same boundaries?  By the way, Mike Lupica wrote the following today about Kendra Davis:

“… Just off past performance, you know his wife is at the game. Or in town. Kendra Davis got into a yelling match with Latrell Sprewell once at a Knicks-Raptors playoff game when Davis played for the Raptors. One Toronto columnist, Steve Simmons, says that Antonio Davis' wife once left messages on his answering machine much more vile than anything Michael Axelrod is supposed to have said at the United Center.”

And how about what Peter Vecsey had to say:

“Given the choice of taking on Kendra or Antonio," declared someone who has known both for years, "I'd rather fight Antonio. She can be real tough on people.”

To put it mildly, Kendra Davis is a firecracker, and not the delicate flower that some player apologists in the media are making her out to be.  Maybe that’s why Antonio was watching the crowd with 1 minute left in an overtime game, rather than worrying about making a play.

 

 

Now, onto this weeks picks.

 

Pittsburgh Steelers at Denver Broncos (-3.5)

Let’s look at this game from the most important aspect of the Super Bowl, possible storylines.  There are 2 weeks between Sundays Championship games and the Super Bowl.  We need storylines, people! 

The Steelers are clearly ahead in this category, what with all the playoff failures of the Cowher era.  The Steelers also employ the most likable, overweight running back  (Jerome Bettis) since William “Refrigerator” Perry, in what seems to be his swan song.  The Broncos are boring by comparison.  By day 6 of the 14-day media hype-athon, we’ll be watching 20-minute pieces on Sportscenter about the journey of defensive end John Engleberger, from his infant years in Germany to the Super Bowl!  zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…  For the love of God, the Steelers have to win!

From a football aspect, in my worthless opinion the Broncos got lucky last week.  The football gods clearly felt it was time for the Patriots to lose a playoff game.  How else can you explain the Broncos punter forcing a fumble, the muffed punt, and all borderline calls going the Broncos way?  I doubt they’ll be seeing many of those gifts from the efficient Steelers offense.

But, mainly I’m picking the Steelers for 1 reason…Ben Roethlisberger.  Ben showed me something last weekend in the ridiculous final moments of their game against the Colts.  His tackle on Nick Harper reminded me of the Derek Jeter ‘flip’ play.  Somehow, Ben had the presence of mind to be on the lookout for a fumble, and then when he had to make a play, he made it.  The fumble occurred at the goal line, he made the tackle at midfield.  He was just a guy doing whatever he had to, regardless of how unorthodox he looked or what position he played, to keep his team in the game.  That’s the kind of guy who finds himself on championship teams…the kind of guy I want on my side when the game starts.

 Steelers 26  Broncos 14

Carolina Panthers at Seattle Seahawks (-4.5)

Now, let’s look at this game from the Super Bowl storyline angle.  The Seahawks are going to pull the standard “east coast bias/we don’t get enough respect” nonsense (memo to west coast teams, the last team to play in the Pacific Time Zone that won a Super Bowl was in 1995.  Maybe it isn’t east coast bias; maybe it’s just that you aren’t very good), and we’ll hear about how underrated Shaun Alexander (the league MVP is underrated?  Believe me, we’ll be hearing it) and Matt Hassleback are.  Plus, the return of Mike Holmgren to the Super Bowl will bring nausea-inducing reminiscing about Brett Favre.  On the other hand, the Panthers have electric receiver Steve Smith, a recent Super Bowl experience to draw from, and in-depth reports about the bathroom brawl/sexcapades of their cheerleaders.  For the love of God…the Panthers have to win!

From a football aspect, in my worthless opinion, I love the Panthers.  2 weeks ago they stormed into New Jersey and shut out a solid offensive football team in the Giants, and last week they stormed into Chicago and scored 29 points on the best defense in the league.  Do you think traveling to the Great Northwest and battling the Seahawks in the rain will faze them?  I didn’t think so.  They’re playing the best football of the 4 remaining teams, and the Seahawks are playing with a dinged up Shaun Alexander. Add that to my east coast bias and I’m envisioning a Panthers/Steelers Super Bowl.

Panthers  35  Seahawks 24

 

 

Remember, there are now only 3 football games left.  Make sure you appreciate what you still have.  And I know I’m picking the 2 road teams, which is basically gambling suicide, but I have to go with my gut…err, six-pack abs…and the foolproof Super Bowl storylines angle.

 

The Picks

Pittsburgh  +3.5

Carolina  +4.5

Playoff Record:  4 - 4

Until next time…

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The answer…VERY.  Now, I’m a huge Knick fan, but there is no excuse for Antonio Davis jumping into the stands.  The NBA would be making a huge mistake if they don’t suspend and fine this quasi-talented baller.  And I know the Knicks are rallying around Mr. Davis and his wife, but check out some of the statements coming from New York:

“I was worried about Kendra. That's why he went in the stands, he saw her falling back.  That thing that happened in the stands had nothing to do with the two teams. That's a man concerned about his family."

     -Knicks coach Larry Brown

“If you see your family in harm's way, you're going to go protect them. You're the man of the house, and at that point you're thinking like a regular human instead of an athlete."

      -Knicks guard Jamal Crawford

“We're human beings. It's your wife. He had his kids up there. You don't know what people will do. Seems like a no-brainer."

     -Overpaid Knicks forward Maurice Taylor

I just have one question…at what point did the $175 corporate seat area become so dangerous?  The Knicks and Davis are acting like this was a life or death situation.  Ugh.  Spare us…please.  Davis’ wife was not going to be harmed by the investment bankers sitting in the 12^th row, center court.  If anything, the 6’9” Davis is extremely lucky that he didn’t inadvertently knock over a kid or an elderly person during his overzealous attempt at chivalry.  This situation could have gotten ugly fast, and if it did escalate, it may have been the knockout blow for the already wobbly reputation of the NBA.

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 Random anti-Yankee hater rant:

At what point does the Alex Rodriguez bashing become tired?  If I read another hack jump on the ARod bashing bandwagon, I swear I’ll puke.  And can they at least get the facts right?  Those who claim ARod collapses when the stakes are high are ill informed and lazy.  They are basing their analysis strictly on the last 4 games of the Red Sox series in 2004 (you know, the one where EVERY Yankee hitter gagged it up, even golden boy and ‘true Yankee’ Derek Jeter) and the hideous ALDS he played last season against the Angels.  Truth is, ARod has performed well in every other postseason series, batting .305 throughout his postseason career (118 at-bats).  He single-handedly scored the winning run during the clinching game of the 2004 ALDS when he doubled, stole third and scored on a wild pitch in the 11^th inning of Game 4 in Minnesota; when he was with the Mariners he wore out the Yankees in a huge ALCS in 2000, batting .409; and during Boston’s disastrous‘Curt Schilling as closer’ stage of this past season ARod hit a game winning bomb off the Boston blowhard in a game that meant a ton to the struggling Yankees. 

Memo to hacks:

If you’re going to mail it in and write another “ARod is Evil” piece, at least get your facts straight.

Until next time...

What’s up y’all?  I don’t mean to startle you, but there are only 7 more meaningful NFL games this season.  The 4 games this weekend, 2 games next weekend and that game they play in between beer and soda commercials.  That’s only about 24 more hours of real football until September.  Cherish every play.

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Due to the fact I HATE the Patriots, just writing the title line of this blog gave me a migraine.  But, if you want a snapshot of the Patriots dynasty, all you have to do is look at one play last weekend. 

As the 3^rd quarter ended last Saturday night, the Jacksonville Jaguars trailed the New England Patriots 21-3, but all was not lost.  The Jags had the ball and were driving, making it all the way to the New England 36-yard line.  A score here would get the Jags back into the game.  Was a comeback improbable?  Sure.  Improbable, but far from impossible.  Jacksonville was looking at a 4^th and 5 to start the 4^th quarter, and for all intents and purposes, their hopes of winning rested on making a first down.  A major problem was that the end of the quarter meant that Patriots mastermind Bill Belichick, and defensive coordinator Eric Mangini, were given a few extra moments to decide on a defensive play call.  Betting that the Jags would try to get a quick first down, Belichick and Mangini called a man-trap coverage, which is designed to bait the quarterback into throwing an out to the underneath receiver.  Cornerback Asante Samuel played the outside receiver as if it was straight man, then at the last possible moment handed the outside receiver (who ran a ‘go’ route) to the safety; this lured Jacksonville quarterback Byron Leftwich into throwing an ‘out’ to the underneath receiver.  Samuel read this, jumped the route, intercepted the pass and ran 73 yards to Denver.  Immediately following this play, ABC cut to the Patriots sideline and caught Belichick celebrating with his coaches, then turning his attention back to the game…wearing the smile of a man who had just outsmarted his opponent.  Checkmate.

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Now, for my fearless prediction of this weekend's games.  With analysis!

New England Patriots at Denver Broncos (-3)

For all of Belichick’s brilliance, the Patriots don’t stack up well against the Broncos.  The Broncos are 8-0 at home this season, 9-1 at home in the playoffs since 1986, and 3-1 against the Patriots since 2001.  Playing in the Denver altitude is tough on the lungs of visiting teams, and expect the Patriots defense to be sucking wind as the Broncos control the ball (they led the league in time of possession this season at 32.37 minutes/game) with an effective ground game (they were second in the league in rushing, with over 158 yards per game).

The dynasty crashes in the Rockies. 

Broncos 24  Patriots 13

 

Pittsburgh Steelers at Indianapolis Colts (-9)

All the facts leading up to this game point to a Colts blowout.  Better quarterback?  Check.  Better running back?  Check.  Better defense?  Check (the Colts have allowed 15.4 points per game, while the Steelers have allowed 16.1).  Home field advantage?  Check.  Rested and ready?  Check.

Who am I to argue with the facts? 

Colts 35  Steelers 10

 

Carolina Panthers at Chicago Bears (-3)

Rex Grossman or Kyle Orton?  It doesn’t matter; the Bears offense is putrid no matter who starts.  The Bears feature the best defense in the league, allowing only 12.6 points per game, but the Panthers aren’t exactly the Washington Generals.  They have the 5^th ranked scoring defense, allowing only 16.2 points per game.  The difference in these teams comes on the other side of the ball.  While the Bears offense is abysmal (scoring 16.2 PPG), the Panthers offense is solid (scoring 24.4 PPG).  Relying too much on one aspect of your team is dangerous, and the Bears defense has to basically pitch a shutout for them to have a chance.   Remember, the ’85 Bears had a legendary defense, but they also had Walter Payton, Jim McMahon and the Superbowl Shuffle.  Also, the Bears aren’t going to get much of an advantage by playing at home; the weather is going to be mild and the Panthers are 7-2 on the road this season. 

There’s no Walter Payton on this Bears team. 

Panthers 17  Bears 6

 

Washington Redskins at Seattle Seahawks (-8.5)

This has the makings of one of those “No they didn’t” games.  As in when your buddy reminds you in 6 months that the Seahawks played the Redskins in the playoffs, you’ll say “No they didn’t”, until you look it up and, sure enough, they played.   Unless you’re a fan of either participating team, odds are you’ll forget the game as soon as it ends, especially since this is the first game of the weekend.  As for the game itself…history shows us that at least 3 out of the 4 home teams win during divisional playoff week in the NFL (home teams have a 49-11 records).  Owing to the fact I already picked a home team to lose this week (Chicago), and the fact Washington had a knock-down drag-out brawl with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers last week while the Seahawks sat around Seattle in the rain listening to grunge…I’m going to have to give the edge to the Seahawks.

When in doubt, go with the team that has the best player (Shaun Alexander). 

Seahawks 24  Redskins 20

 

For gambling purposes…err, I mean entertainment purposes:

Broncos  -3

Colts  -9

Panthers  +3

Redskins  +8.5

 

Last week against the spread:  2-2

 

Until next time…

Don’t look now, but the Knicks are on a roll.  For those of you who haven’t noticed, the New York Knickerbockers have put together a pretty impressive 4 game winning streak.  Beating quality opponents like Phoenix and Cleveland, the latter on the road.  How did this happen?  What does this mean? 

Explaining how this happened is easy.  Just take a look at Stephon Marbury’s last 3 games.  31 assists against 3 turnovers.  Read that line again.  He has 10:1 assist-to-turnover ratio.  Add that to quality decision making (during those games he’s shot 49% from the field, no small feat for a guy who’s career average is 43.5%) and you have the recipe for a winning point guard.  Is this an aberration, or is Larry Brown finally rubbing off on this guy?  Judging from what we’ve seen lately, I’m leaning towards the latter.

What does it mean?  In the short term it means that the Knicks are moving up in the standings (believe it or not, they’re only 3 games out of a playoff spot), but in the long term, and more importantly, it means the players are starting to buy into Larry Brown’s system.  It’s been said that Brown’s coaching style is to tear you down just to build you up, much like a drill sergeant.  If this is the case, he did a terrific job tearing the Knicks (and especially Marbury) down, let’s see if the winning can continue tonight against another quality opponent, Dallas.

 Quick hits…NBA Style

 -I don’t mean to alarm you Spurs fans, but Phoenix has the second best record in the West and, oh by the way, expect Amare Stoudemire back for the stretch run and playoffs.  I guess that’ll mean a little less playing time for Pat Burke.

 -After they became the toast of notoriously fickle Los Angeles, the Clippers have lost 9 out of their last 13 games and are back to playing second fiddle to the Kobe show.  Nope…nobody saw that one coming.

 -I want to like the Miami Heat, I really do, but they’re just not a likable bunch.  For every Dwyane Wade on their roster, there’s a Gary Payton, and for every Shaquilee O’neal, there’s an Alonzo Mourning (who among us can forget the way he forced his way out of New Jersey, mere months after Rod Thorn signed him as a favor to Jason Kidd, then refused to play for Toronto in order to sign with Miami?).  And then there’s glory-hog Pat Riley, who forced out good soldier Stan Van Gundy earlier this season.   I guess I know whom I’ll be rooting against come playoff time.

 -The Pistons have the best record in the league…yawn.

 -I don’t mean to commit blasphemy, but when Michael Jordan was LeBron James’ age, he was hitting jumpers over future CPA’s and slow-footed 6’6” centers.

 -Add emerging talent Boris Diaw to Tony Parker and the French National team has a solid nucleus.  Mon Dieu!!

Until next time...

I have to admit…I love drama.  I literally cannot get enough of this ####.  After a weekend of lackluster (dare I say…BORING) NFL playoff games, this plagiarism scandal is just what the doctor ordered.  I LOVE reading the conspiracy theories, I love seeing people get upset, and I love that it won’t go away.  I’m watching the car crash that is the NGS competition just like I watch “The Real World/Road Rules Challenge”.  It’s a guilty pleasure, I know, but I just can’t stop myself.  Plus, I love watching a plagiarizing lowlife get what’s coming to him.  More rants, please.  By the way, is anybody surprised that this “contest” has become nothing more than a huge cluster####?

 All that and Tiffany Marie went off the deep end.  This has already been a great week.  I just wish she kept her blogs up, for the comedic value.  Witnessing a few implosions has certainly been worth the price of admission.  All I can say is…keep up the good work.

 

Now, onto my irrelevant sports thoughts.

 -If Marcus Vick’s last name were Shockley (as in DJ, the more talented QB from Georgia), he wouldn’t get drafted.  But, since every NFL team wants a piece of the Vick magic (Is a 75.8 QB rating, and a 51/39 TD/INT ratio really considered magic?) some #### will take a flier on Marcus on Day 1 of the draft…and regret it.

 -The Kansas Jayhawks are a good young basketball team.  The difference between the Jayhawk team that took the court against Kentucky on Saturday, and the Jayhawk team that took the court in the Maui Invitation is enormous.  Russell Robnison is stepping up as a floor general, Brandon Rush is a Carmelo Anthony clone (with scoring, passing and rebounding in his repertoire), and the supporters like Julian Wright and CJ Giles are getting better with each passing game.  I expect this team to hit some more speed bumps, but come tourney-time don’t be surprised if the Baby Jayhawks make a lot of noise.

 -For you gamblers out there, here’s my first college hoops lock of 2006:  Duke’s first loss will come on 1/21, at Georgetown.

 -West Virginia is the best team in the Big East, not UConn or Villanova.

 -Gonzaga will cruise into the NCAA tourney with about a 15 game winning streak and a 1(!) or 2 seed…then get bounced in the second round.  Their schedule is littered with too many D-IAA level teams to get them primed for March Madness.  While teams like West Virginia are playing Louisville, UConn, UCLA, Syracuse and Cincinnati in the coming months, Gonzaga will be playing Portland, Loyola Marymount and St. Mary’s.  Expect a rude awakening for the Bulldogs when they have to face a battle-hardened team like Syracuse or NC State in March.

 -Bruce Sutter made the Hall of Fame on his 13^th attempt.  If you’re really a Hall of Famer, should it take you 13 attempts to get in?  This year’s Hall of Fame vote was sort of like the 2004 Presidential election…”Well, we’ve gotta vote for someone.”  (How do you make sure 99% of the readers hate you?  Rip both political parties.)

 -The three-headed monster of Mike Patrick, Joe Theisman, and Paul Maguire went on and on and on and on and on and on…you get the point…about how badly the officiating crew blew the Sean Taylor/Michael Pittman dust-up during Saturday’s Redskins/Bucs game.  Maguire went so far as to say that instant replay should be used in situations where an official gets a call so obviously wrong.  Theisman lamented that Joe Gibbs was mad at poor Sean Taylor, even though he had done nothing wrong.  None of these idiots mentioned that the official was in great position, saw AND heard the entire altercation, and still decided to make the call that he did (against Taylor and Redskins).  Turns out Taylor spit on Pittman, and the official made the correct call.  Oops.

 -By the way, instant replay was created for plays like the Edell Sheperd drop in that same game.  Not for the 3 yard completion of 1^st down in the second quarter.  It’s time to rein in the liberal use of instant replay.

 -So Bode Miller claims he skied drunk.  What’s the big deal?  David Wells and (HBO boxing commentator) Larry Merchant do their best work after hitting the sauce.  And if Bode goes Sonny Bono on us...well, that's his own fault.

 

 Until next time…

Sorry for the delay in writing another post, but due to circumstances (both foreseen and unforeseen) I've barely been able to put a coherent thought together.  Rather than waste both of our time, I decided that it's better to write nothing, than throw some slop up on my blog and hope some of it sticks.  ("Throw some slop up on my blog?"...awful)  Today I just wanted to write some of my rambling observations (in one loooooong paragraph) about the NGS contest before the weekend.  I'll put up a couple of real posts next week.

There is no way that the 16 finalists are any better than about 200 other bloggers that I've read.  There is simply no possible way to judge this thing.  Let's say 5,000 people enter the contest.  At least 10% of the bloggers were insightful, well written and fully capable of winning this contest.  That's 500 bloggers!  To get into the final 16 took as much luck as talent.  (No, I'm not including myself in with those 484 hard-luck losers.  I believe the 16 finalists are better equipped to be a great sportswriter than myself, and therefore deserved to beat me.)  Which brings me to another point, what's the deal with all the sore losers?  Odds are that these whiners are the same dudes who would respond to a "Who's the best blogger" post with themselves.  "I hate to toot my own horn, but my blog is one of the best".  Ummm, no it's not.  If it were, SOMEBODY ELSE would have mentioned it.  And what's the deal with Tiffany Marie?  Is there any doubt that this is a chick that's skated through life because she's good looking?  By posting pictures of herself, she made it perfectly clear that she didn't want to be judged on her writing ability.  Writing is the great equalizer, where a person can be judged strictly on their words; not by race, creed, wealth or looks.  By posting her, *ahem*, assets, Tiffany effectively made herself nothing more than a punchline, especially when she writes some rambling, bitter diatribe about how women aren’t hired as sportswriters.  Besides, I’m reasonably sure that the blogger who calls itself Tiffany Marie is an overweight, middle-aged man, wearing nothing but tighty-whities. 

end/rant

Like I said in my first post, I didn’t join to win some contest.  So, unlike some other bloggers, I’ll still be here after the dust clears.  By the way, here are my playoff picks, sans analysis.  If you bet any of these games based only on my picks…you’re an ####.

Washington +1.5 over Tampa Bay

New England –8 over Jacksonville

NY Giants –2.5 over Carolina

Cincy –2.5 over Pittsburgh

 

Until next time…

All who’ve played golf have hit a drive that splits the fairway, sank a long putt, or saved a miraculous par from the bunker.  For that moment the game seems easy.  We think to ourselves “If only I could do that more consistently.”

 If only.

 We’ve all got great shots in us, but what separates the weekend duffer from the guy making a living playing golf is that little thing we refer to as consistency. 

 The same goes for writing.  After going through seemingly thousands of blogs on this website, I’ve seen some impressive work.  Surprisingly impressive, in fact.  I’ve read columns that have informed me, columns that have made me laugh, and, most importantly, columns that have entertained me.  I wouldn’t bat an eye if some of the blogs I’ve read were written by some of the writers already employed at Foxsports.

 It’s apparent to me that many (if not most) of the bloggers on the site have great columns in them.  But, it’s going to take consistency to get the job.

 

Have a merry and a happy, y’all!

Well, folks, they’re at it again.  The Yankee haters are out in full force.  I’m not talking about the completely insane Sons of Sam Horn, or the drunks at the Cask ‘n Flagon, I’m talking about journalists…columnists in the national media.  I’m talking about writers like the USA Today’s Ian O’Connor.  Who, in his column, begrudgingly admits that the Yankees made a smart move signing Johnny Damon, but then tries to throw water on the Yankee fan base with this brilliant paragraph.

“Frankly, I would've preferred a 20-something like Aaron Rowand or Juan Pierre. The good news is that Damon never gets hurt. The bad news is that he's overdue to get hurt.”

What?  This is journalism?  I would expect that kind of nonsense out of some of the innumerable Boston-area bloggers on this site, but from a contributing writer of the USA Today?  Horrible.  Let’s attack his paragraph from 2 angles.

O’Connor would have preferred a 20-something like Aaron Rowand or Juan Pierre.

Wow, you don’t say.  I’m thinking the Yankees thought the same thing.  Why do you think they didn’t sign Damon until after both of those players were moved?  Another problem here is that neither was a free agent, and on the trade front the asking price was too high.  The Yankee farm system is decimated, so any package for either of those players would have required Robinson Cano, Chien-Ming Wang, or both.  Yankee GM Brian Cashman (rightly) decided that overpaying with cash for Johnny Damon was much smarter than overpaying with players for Rowand or Pierre.  O’Connor might as well blast the Damon trade because he’d rather have signed Andruw Jones or Torii Hunter.  Was his statement correct?  Yes.  Was it relevant?  Not even close.

O’Connor states Damon has remained injury free, but claims that he’s “overdue” for an injury.

Damon played in more than 92% of the Red Sox games while he was a member of the team, but according to O’Connor, he’s overdue to get hurt.  How did he slip this bunk past his editors?  According to his logic, I’m overdue to win the lottery, Jenna Jamison is overdue to win an Academy Award, and Josh Beckett is overdue to have an injury-free season.  It’s just nonsense.

While the convoluted logic of O’Connor is classic, it’s nothing compared to foxsports.com’s own Kevin Hench.  Hench wastes entirely too many words comparing Damon to the Biblical Samson, hoping that the loss of his hair somehow equals the loss of his skills. 

Sure, that’s rational. 

In the rest of the column Hench lays out the reasons why the Damon signing was bad for the Yankees.  Calling out Damon for his lack of a strong throwing arm, comparing him to Juan Encarnacion, Coco Crisp and Shea Hillenbrand, and describing him as a madman with a penchant for getting into collisions.  But, take a look at this article from the capricious Hench.  Only 6 months earlier he was praising Damon, describing him thusly:

“How are the Red Sox in first place…It starts at the top of the order, where Johnny Damon rides a 25-game hitting streak into the break. Damon is hitting .343 with 65 runs scored and earns himself more dough every time he lashes another line drive in this mother of all option years.”

A few months before the annual Red Sox collapse he describes how Damon, along with four other players, have carried the Red Sox to first place, and how these players have not just been good, but have indeed been “awesome”.

So how does Johnny Damon go from being an awesome, team carrying centerfielder to a spaghetti armed, overrated leadoff hitter with diminishing power (power is a necessity for a quality leadoff hitter since…when?) in less than half a season?  I don’t know, but it may have something to do with the Red Sox #### glasses Hench has been known to wear around town.  According to his bio, Hench is the head writer for the "Too Late with Adam Carolla" show on Comedy Central.  Just a suggestion, Kevin, but maybe Adam’s ratings will increase if the jokes you write for him are as comical as the stuff you write for foxsports.com.

You can file these 2 columns under ‘W’ for “Wishful Thinking”.  The truth is, the Red Sox were dealt a fatal blow by losing their leadoff hitter, centerfielder and golden boy.  Unless the train wreck that is the Red Sox front office can get their #### together and pull off some sort of Festivus miracle, you can also file the Red Sox...under ‘D’, for “D-E-A-D”.

I’ve read a number of blog’s declaring that Peyton Manning can’t win the big one after his performance during last weeks loss to the Chargers.  The majority of these seem to have been written by New England-area fans.  These have led me to ask 2 questions.

When did last Sunday’s game become a ‘big game’ for the Colts? 

It was a HUGE game for the Chargers…it was a HUGE game for the 1972 Dolphins...but for the Colts?  Hardly.  Sure they wanted to win, but was there any sense of urgency?  Was there any intensity, especially on the defensive end?  Not much, to say the least.  Ask Tony Dungy before the game what he wanted to get out of this game and one of his answers was “To stay healthy”.  That doesn’t sound like normal coach-speak before a big game.  1 quality team fighting for their playoff lives and 1 quality team trying to stay healthy?  I bet against the Colts, and it was the easiest money I made all year.

Why do Patriot’s fans care about the Colts?

Led by that insufferable chowd Bill Simmons, Patriot’s fans seem intent on bashing all things Colts.  They wait for any reason to tweak the Colts and their fans, and when an opportunity arises, they pounce.  It’s laughable to read some of the things said about Peyton Manning and the Colts.  Remember, this is the team that marched into Foxboro and took the Patriots behind the woodshed for 4 quarters in November.  That game was played before the division, before the playoff picture, and before homefield advantage was decided.  Now, THAT was a big game for the Colts, and I'd say they responded pretty well.

And as for the inevitable talk about the Pats/Colts playoff game being the "real Super Bowl"...let’s put this into perspective.  If things go right for them, the Patsies will be limping onto the Indianapolis turf after battling the Chargers, Jaguars, or Steelers the week earlier.  IF the Patriots get past one of those teams, I give them as much chance as I give "The Ringer" at the Oscars . 

It’s obvious to me that all this bluster blowing out of Beantown is nothing more than the New England fans collective insecurities boiling to the surface.  Although you may rage against it, Patsy fans, the end is nigh…and you know it.

Am I the only person who watches the Survivor reunion to see how much weight they’ve all gained?

Should I applaud or fear the completely insane Green Bay Packer fans for their ability to sit through (and get excited about) a 2-10 football team playing a 4-8 football team in single digit weather on a Sunday night?

Does Coach K use his American Express card to pay off #### Vitale and ESPN?  (“My life is about getting pro-Duke propaganda to the masses.  My card is American Express.”)

Remember when the Yankees used to sign former Red Sox players when they were good?

Why did Stan van Gundy try to pull the “spend more time with my family” bit when resigning this week?  Immediately after graduating college he started coaching at places like Vermont, Castleton State, Canisius, Fordham and Massachusetts-Lowell, yet he decides the year he has a NBA title contender that he needs to spend more time with his family?  Is anybody outside of Ahmad Rashad buying this ####?

How long until the team in your roto basketball league that has Marcus Camby loses him to injury and falls 4 spots?  5 weeks?  3 weeks?  1?

If a soccer match ends in a nil-nil tie…did anything really happen?

Could Matt Millen possibly be dumb enough to draft another wide receiver in the first round of the NFL draft?  And if so, will he get another contract extension?

If a college basketball game ends with a 41-21 score…did anything really happen?

What kind of off-color jokes will that lovable scamp Fuzzy Zoeller make after Michelle Wie wins the Masters?

Can the Cuban national baseball team play in the World Baseball Classic if the entire team defects before the first pitch?

Will Paul LoDuca replace Mike Piazza behind the plate for the Italian national team this March?

Considering that Houston has given up the most sacks in the NFL this season,  wouldn’t it be wise to spend the first pick on D’Brickashaw Ferguson and not Reggie Bush?

And finally:

If fans stay away from the arena/stadium/coliseum of their hometown losing team, does this prove their fickleness (we’ve all heard the term ‘fair-weather fan’)…or their intelligence?  (I’ll attempt to answer this in a future blog.)

 

Until next time…

Hey look, I changed the name of my blog.  One of the perks about working at a mind-numbing job is you have the chance to think about a lot of things…things other than work, of course.  Because of this time spent “thinking”, I’ve developed certain opinions, views, if you will, on a number of subjects.  This blog contains the views developed in my cube, where I sit and “think” for 40 hours a week.

One of the things on my mind is boxing.  If you want to know how far boxing has fallen, think about this: The WBA Heavyweight Champion of the World (John Ruiz) is fighting this weekend against an opponent who’s 42-0...and the fight is not being televised anywhere in America.  Why?  Because nobody cares.  Why doesn’t anybody care?  I’m glad you asked.

Problem 1

Boxing is rigged

On September 18, 2003 Oscar De La Hoya and Bernard Hopkins fought on the same card, as a prelim to their “tentatively scheduled” fight taking place a few months later.  While Hopkins sleepwalked through his victory over a much lesser opponent, De La Hoya couldn’t handle the undefeated Felix Sturm.  Sturm controlled the fight, landing 234 punches to De La Hoya’s 188.  He busted De La Hoya’s nose in the first round, and controlled him the rest of the night with his jab.  And what happened?  Of course, all three judges scored the bout, 115-113, for De La Hoya.   Each made sure to give De La Hoya the final round to assure the victory, assuring him a huge payday and effectively ruining Sturm’s career.  Barring a knockout, there was no way that Sturm was going to win that fight, and he was the CHAMPION.  Now, what real sports fan wants to watch an event whose outcome is already determined?

How to Fix it

Make the judges post their score after each round

If a fighter is getting screwed, knowing it during the fight will make things much more interesting to watch, and give the underdog a fighting chance.  Midway through the fight Sturm would have realized his gameplan wasn’t working, and would have been able to change midfight.  Instead, since his gameplan SEEMED to be working (much to his detriment), Felix stuck with it and ended up losing a close decision.  In what other sport is the score unknown until the entire event is over?

Problem 2

Fighters clinch too much

The main reason why nobody cares about the John Ruiz fight is his fighting style.  Ruiz is a master clincher, meaning he throws a punch or two, and then hugs his opponent until the ref breaks them up.  This goes on for 12 rounds, all too often resulting in a Ruiz victory.  Not only is this fighting style ugly, but it’s also terribly boring to watch.

How to Fix it

Eliminate Clinching

There’s only one way to eliminate clinching; penalize it.  In the 2003 NFL playoffs, the New England Patriots clinched, grabbed and mugged the Indianapolis Colts receivers on their way to victory.  The league office saw this horrendous game, realized where this kind of play could lead, and immediately eliminated all contact with a receiver after 5 yards.  Do the same thing in boxing.  Allow each boxer 1 warning each round for clinching; every violation afterwards would result in a point being taken away.  Like in the NFL, if this rule is enforced every time it happens, clinching will soon be a thing of the past.  Imagine if fighters actually had to fight for 12 rounds?

Problem 3

You have to pay $59.95 to watch the biggest fights of the year

The worst part about watching boxing is feeling ripped off afterwards.  If I watch the Superbowl, and the Buffalo Bills are involved, I may get ticked that the game was boring, but I don’t turn the television off feeling like a sucker.  Whenever I pay for a big fight, and it doesn’t live up to the hype, I feel like I just bought property at the Glengarry Estates.  Not a good thing for boxing.

How to Fix it

Create a channel strictly for boxing

I know there is no chance of this happening…but, we can dream.  Instead of Pay-Per-View, boxing fans can pay one flat rate each month; let’s say $10.95, for the All Boxing Network.  Make sure there are fights on every weekend, and include all the biggest fights in the package.  Now, anytime there’s a dud fight, fans can immediately look forward to the next one (multiple cards on one channel will lead to wall-to-wall fights).  And anytime there’s a great fight, fans will feel like they’re getting what they paid for.  Weekly recap shows, previews, shows about the history of the sweet science, The Klitchko Brother’s Variety Show…all these will benefit boxing.

Problem 4

There are too many champions

Quick, name the Heavyweight Champion.  If you said John Ruiz, (WBA) you’d be correct.  You’d also be correct if you said Hasim Rahman (WBC)…and Chris Byrd (IBF)…and Lamon Brewster (WBO)…and vacant (IBO).  If the boxing world doesn’t know whom the champion is, how should we?

How to Fix it

Create a single sanctioning body that rules over all of boxing

Another pipe dream.  The Boxing world needs 1 governing body, 1 set of rules and 1 champion in each weight division.  Simple?  Yes.  Possible?  No.  Much like the NCAA football bowl system, there’s way too much money involved to institute a common sense reform.

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And now, a bonus way to fix the heavyweight division.  Since nobody can agree on who the champion is, it’s time for a playoff.  3 nights, 8 fighters, 1 champion (only available on the new All Boxing Network).  After a seeding process, the fights begin, 1 vs. 8, 2 vs. 7, and so on.  4 months later, the winner’s battle it out, and the losers fight for a higher ranking.  Finally, 4 months after that, we have a real heavyweight championship fight, with the other fighters on the undercard. 

Something like this may draw fans, but until problems 1 and 2 are eliminated, this might not be a good thing.

Until next time…

 

No, not this.

This.

So let me get this straight.  I can fill out my bracket online, gamble online, and now watch almost every NCAA tournament game (including out of market games) online…all while pretending to work (and maybe putting in a little “wink, wink” overtime).  Are you kidding me?  Why isn’t this bigger news?  If I could get a keg delivered to my cube, I may just put in my first 12-hour workday.

Of course, I’ll be calling in sick on Friday, March 17^th.  Wall to wall college hoops on St. Patrick’s Day?  Somebody get me a body bag.

Ok, let’s get some business out of the way.  I’m still working out some kinks after my last post.  I’ve streamlined the presentation a bit, and tried to add a little bit of sports into my sports blog.  Most importantly, I’ve decided to limit this blog to one search category.  By trying to get people to read it, I foolishly added my last blog to too many categories.  So some poor guy wanting to read about World Cup soccer has to sludge through my barely coherent brain droppings to find one mention of his favorite sport.

So…about the Colts.  I was trying to envision the worst possible scenario for them this season, and I think I came up with it.  They steamroll through the regular season, going 16-0 (13-3 against the spread), and leave no doubt that they are the class of the NFL.  Using a balanced attack, they cruise to victory in their first playoff game (maybe even vanquishing the Patriots in the process).   Then, they host the AFC Championship game…and in swagger the Cincinnati Bengals.

Believe it or not, the Bengals are the worst possible matchup for the Colts in the playoffs.  They have the weapons to jump out to a quick lead, and won’t mind playing the high octane Colts on the turf.   Let’s say Carson Palmer hits Chad Johnson for a quick score, then after a Colts punt, Rudi Johnson helps the Bengals make their way into Colts territory with a time consuming drive that ends up with a field goal.  The first quarter ends and the Bengals are up 10-0.

Now, it’s panic time.

Tony Dungy decides to throw away the gameplan that took his team to 17 straight wins.  Manning starts to press and throws the ball into triple coverage, and the ball is picked-off in Colts territory (the Bengals absolutely FEAST on turnovers, leading the league in total turnovers and turnover differential).  A quick Bengal touchdown, and the score is 17-0.  The Indy crowd is stunned and silent, the talking heads start babbling about how maybe going undefeated wasn’t the best thing for the Colts, the Colts start to realize their dream season is about to blow up in their faces, and Fox starts to realize they’re one half away from a Bengals/Seahawks Super Bowl.  

I’m sure you can imagine what transpires in the second half.  Peyton Manning’s palms get sweaty and his receivers start running incorrect routes (at least that’s what he’ll say), Tony Dungy goes 18 straight minutes without speaking (unless you count “uhhhh”), and Edgerrin James calcifies in the backfield.  The Colts will make a brief run to cut the score to 24-14, but to no avail, as the Bengals cruise in the second half behind the efficient passing of Carson Palmer, and the running of Rudi Johnson.

Believe me, I’m rooting to the Colts to run the table through the Super Bowl for two reasons.

1. I love watching anything historic (unless it has to do with the Boston Red Sox and an epic Yankee collapse).
2. To get those 1972 Dolphins out of our memories forever.  I never did mind them that much, until every year we got a look at a drunken Larry Csonka and pals celebrating another year of their record.  Guys, give it a rest.

But if the Colts run the table and win the Super Bowl, I’m hoping we won't see Peyton Manning, Dwight Freeney, Jim Sorgi and the rest sipping on bubbly after every team loses in 2038.

Alright, let’s get this out of the way.  I am NOT writing this blog to get a job as a contributing writer for FoxSports…I’m simply trying to find something to do while at work.  And since this blog is going on FoxSports.com, and I’m getting paid while doing it (albeit not by Fox), I already consider myself a contributing writer.  I don’t really have a chance of winning anyway, considering my screenplay came in last when I submitted it to “Project Greenlight” (Have you seen how bad the WINNERS of that competition are?  You haven’t?  Don’t worry, nobody else has either.), and I plan on repeatedly bashing people that consider poker a sport (I think Poker Superstars is on 18 hours a day on Fox Sports Net).

In the near future I will:

-Tell you why being a Yankee fan is much tougher than you think

-Explain why “Titanic” is the worst movie ever (Winning a ticket in a card game?  Really?)

-Go Christmas shopping and take a nap

-List the reasons why college basketball is infinitely better than pro basketball (Although, the NBA just added Gene Keady’s combover.)

-Reveal the shocking truth about my feelings on soccer (Forget it, I’ll do it now.  The day the US wins the World Cup will be one of the happiest of my jingoistic life…and I hate that damn sport.)

-Kill hours and hours writing something nobody will ever read

 

Until next time…