...clearly, and emphaticly, that I have never taken steroids, HGH, or any other banned substance during the course of my blogging career, or in fact, my entire life.

Also....I did not have sex with that woman.

I ask that you all refrain from a rush to judgement in this matter, until all the facts come out.  I will make a full appropriate statement written for me by an appropriate legal team at an appropriate time in an appropriate manner.  After all, that would only be appropriate in a situation like this.

Further, I must state that I was NOT involved with Lee Harvey Oswald, and in fact, had never met the man.  Also, I have no information on the location of Jimmy Hoffa's body.  I have never been to Area 51, and have no knowledge of the actual existence of such a facility.  Rumors of my pet Sasquatch, "Hairy Rocket", are greatly exaggerated.  It has never been proven that he is indeed a Sasquatch.  Besides, I wear bigger shoes than he does.

I hope this puts the mind's of my fans at ease.