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Look at 'em over there: Packers fans Right here in Illinois --annoying, like those Wisconsin mosquitoes From: Chicago Sun-Times Date: November 7, 2001 Author: Mark Brown More results for: wisconsin packer illinois annoying | Copyright information Copyright 2001 Chicago Sun-Times. This material is published under license from the publisher through ProQuest Information and Learning Company, Ann Arbor, Michigan. All inquiries regarding rights should be directed to ProQuest Information and Learning Company.

They'll start showing up for work this week in those green and yellow getups. They think they're wearing green-and-gold, but then again, they still think the moon is made of string cheese.

You know who I'm talking about.

They still think Nitschke was better than Butkus. They'd give Hornung the start over Payton.

They don't even know it's an insult when you call them a Cheesehead.

They are geography-challenged Illinois Packers fans. They are lost.

Some of you will find this hypocritical, coming from a St. Louis Cardinals' baseball fan residing on Page 2 of a major Chicago daily newspaper, but I don't care. My Bears credentials are solid.

And I've never been able to understand the phenomenon ...

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Just gives you the idea of what an Illinoisan thinks of a Wisconsinite.

Mike Downey, a funny columnist and the Chicago Tribune were all about the Illinois Fighting Illini on Tuesday morning before their match with USC that sadly ended with a routing of the Illini. Mike Downey is a funny columnist and is creative. These are some questions that he thought USC fans wanted answered:

 

"PASADENA, Calif. -- OK, you USC'ans, this is game day, and I know what you want to know.

Why do so many Illinois fans going to the Rose Bowl plan to chant, "Go, Juice, go! "?

Because they intend to cheer for quarterback Juice Williams, and they also expect to see a different Juice in a car chase on their way to the game.

What ever happened to that mascot of yours the NCAA banned, Chief Illiniwek?

I hear he now lives up near Michael Jackson's Neverland ranch, where he runs a casino.

Why did you start a rumor that Pete Carroll doesn't have a clue what to say to his team before Tuesday's game?

His writers are on strike.

Don't you believe a lot of USC's players will play in the NFL next season?

Not in Los Angeles, they won't.

Why do you Midwest hicks keep calling us "Southern Cal" when you know we can't stand that?

That's why.

Aren't you a big, fat media liar when you claim USC's distinguished president, Dr. Steven Sample, is a graduate of the University of Illinois?

I cannot tell a lie. Be sure to look for ol' Doc Sample at the game, holding a Trojan sword in one hand and a foam-rubber Illini tomahawk in the other.

Downey, you miserable Illinois-born traitor, isn't it true that your own daughter attends USC?

No comment.

So what is Illini superstar J Leman's real first name?

Jennifer, but he goes by J-Lem.

What advice did Dick Butkus give the team in his pep talk?

Something like: "Go hit those Trojans as hard as you can, then go up into the stands and hit their parents."

OK, smart guy, why don't you remind everybody now how USC has beaten Illinois 10 of the last 11 times they have met?

Glad to. Why don't you remind everybody how USC lost the 1989 game to Illinois 14-13 at the L.A. Coliseum without a single TD being scored by your offense, which was quarterbacked by Todd "Just Say No" Marinovich?

Wasn't that 1989 USC-Illinois game originally scheduled to be played in Moscow?

That is correct. I believe they planned to call it the Rose Bowl Preseason Game Presented by Stolichnaya Vodka.

I've heard that Ron Zook's grandfather came from Russia to America with a last name that was 26 letters long and that U.S. immigration officials at Ellis Island shortened it to Zook. Did this really happen?

It did. The coach's family name is actually Zookeeper-zoom-zoom-zoolander.

How do you pronounce the name of Illinois tight end Michael Hoomanawanui?

For a lot of you L.A. people, the hard part seems to be how to pronounce "Illi-noy."

Is it true that Illini defensive back Bo Flowers is 24 years old and used to play professional baseball in the Cubs' minors?

Every man has a skeleton in his closet. Besides, being with the Cubs, that's not professional baseball.

So how did Zook persuade your backup tailback, Daniel Dufrene, to leave College of the Sequoias and choose Illinois over his second choice, UCLA?

By telling him Illinois' football program is better than UCLA's. And also that College of the Sequoias' football program is better than UCLA's.

Couldn't that running back Rashard Mendenhall take home a Heisman Trophy if he stays in school one more year?

He could, if O.J. doesn't steal it first.

Is it true Illini linebacker Antonio Steele's big brother Markus once played for USC?

Any young man named Markus or Marcus is obligated under a California law to grab a shield and sword and perform in the Coliseum.

I see where the 2005 season ended with Illinois getting beat 35-20 by California, 61-14 by Michigan State, 35-7 by Iowa, 36-13 by Indiana, 63-10 by Penn State, 31-24 by Wisconsin, 40-2 by Ohio State, 37-3 by Purdue and 38-21 by Northwestern. How in the heck did the Illini become so much bigger and better since then?

Man, I don't care, as long as none of their names show up in Jose Canseco's next book.

OK, we know this Illinois team beat No. 1-ranked Ohio State, but how?

Oh, no, you don't. I know you USC dudes have Ohio State on your schedule for Sept. 13, 2008, but you get no tips from us."

-Chicago Tribune Mike Downey in the Monday January 1, 2007 newspaper.

Sadly, this season ended with a crash for the Illini. But this year was so great for the program. They went from nothing to something in a year. Three years ago, Ron Zook came to the U of I and had great recruiting years. Everybody was wondering where these great recruits were. Well, here they are. The recruiting is paying off. This football program is back on the map, and next year, the goal is even higher.

The Chicago Bears are 2-0 in their "new season" that Lovie Smith told them started at the Packers game. The Bears are seeing signs within these last two games.

One sign is that Kyle Orton is better than Grossman or Griese. I am not saying that Da Bears won't go out and get a new QB, I am simply saying that Kyle Orton is the better QB on the team. WHERE HAS HE BEEN ALL SEASON?

I also think that either the team has more confidence with him at QB, or for some reason the defense is playing A LOT better than the rest of the season.

The Bears cannot ignore the downside to this season, though. Even though the team won their last two games against teams they shouldn't have, the Bears must still realize that this team needs help! We need a new LB (with Briggs leaving), we need a new QB (Yes, I said it. Orton really isn't a Super Bowl QB, but it depends how you define that because Rex went to the '06 SB), we need a new receiver that can make an impact on the offense. Berrian you keep and MAYBE Mushin, but Mushin can't run his route. We need a new RB (Peterson is a good RB, though).

Do you see how easy it is for the Bears to say "We're okay, we can lay off the heavy moves this offseason" BUT THEY CAN'T! It scares me so much that they would say this and here's why:

This is what they could say: "We'll find an LB but we've got Urlacher so he doesn't have to be a big move. Orton looked good and is the future of this team, so no help at QB. Some of our recievers came on twords the end with Orton in there, so maybe it was all Grossman and Griese's fault that they struggled. Peterson is a good RB and we'll have Benson back next year. We're okay with only a couple of minor moves."

PLEASE DON'T DO THIS BEARS! THIS TEAM IS IMPROVING AND WILL IMPROVE EVEN MORE IF YOU HAVE A GOOD OFFSEASON! DON'T BE AFRAID TO SPEND CASH, YOU'VE GOT IT!