Flava Flav and the tall b**** from Beverly Hills Cop II

First off, for the record, I am not a reality junkie. I hardly ever subject myself to the tube unless I'm watching sports or a film. However, for some reason whenever I encounter VH1's The Surreal Life I simply cannot pull myself away. The concept is great--take advantage of eccentric, washed-up famous people who desperately need the money by placing them in the same combustible household.

The Surreal Life cast alumni list includes Vanilla Ice, Tammy Faye Baker, Brigitte Nielson, Flavor Flav (who, bizarrely enough, dated Nielson), Sherman Helmsley, Corey Feldman, MC Hammer, Ron Jeremy, Verne Troyer, Chyna, Jos

What is going on in the NBA these days? Yes, the play indeed has been "Fantastic" during this first round series, but I'm not talking about the play. I'm talking about the fashion. In the past year or so we've seen both pig tails and Baryshnikov-esque tights become somewhat popular. My thoughts on the fads of the NBA...

Dancing with the Stars

King James, Half-Man/Half-Amazing, T-Mac, KB8 and Flash have all donned the tights this season. Players claim the increased circulation helps prevent injuries. The NBA doesn't agree. No matter how practical the tights are, Stern and his cronies do not want the league's stars dressing like ballerinas. I mean, what's next? A Serena Williams-inspired skirt replacing player's shorts? Pink uni's? Eyeliner?

Rockin' the Socks

Frankly, Mr. Shankly, this fad has to go. Long socks may have been cool back when Magic sported 'em with the stripes, daisy dukes and Converse Weapons, but now they are out. Just look how goofy T-Mac (pictured above) looks in both long socks and tights. He looks downright goofy. Drew Gooden and J-Will are among the worst culprits here. The knee-high black socks they rock are the worst.

Tatted-Up

Love tattoos, and hate them, too. A.I.'s are sick. Starbury's look random. Love Kobe's crown. Not a big fan of Brad Miller's Scrappy-Doo and Greg Ostertag's Fred Flintstone. The artwork on Doug Christie's shoulder is sick. Tyson Chandler's tats are weak. See what I mean. This fad can be good or bad.

Big Red occasionally played in between "Dead" shows.

Do the 'Do's

Hairstyles are a fashion staple in the NBA and have been since Dr. J had the 'fro and Bill Walton was stylin' as Big Red. Scot Pollard has probably the most versatile locks in the league. He has gone with everything from the Samurai to the short-long mini-mullet he wore in this year's playoffs (mostly from the bench). Josh Childress has the Eraserhead mini-'fro going. A.I., J.O. and Kwame Brown go with ultra-stylish cornrows. The worst hairstyle fad has to be the pig tails that Latrell Spreewell, Troy Hudson and Danny Fortson had last season. After that embarrassing debacle, I'm glad Spree is out of the league. This is another fad that can go either way.

Headband-ing Together

This is a fad that caught on about 4-5 years ago and has become common throughout the league. Slick Watts and Cliff Robinson (yes, he's still playing... broken hip and all) were headband pioneers back in the day. Now, players on every team wear them. Rip Hamilton even uses one to pretty up his Jason mask. This fad, along with wristbands and armbands, can stay.

Philip Seymour Hoffman doing his thing.

Last night I watched the 2003 film Owning Mahowny for the first time. The movie centers around a compulsive gambler named Dan Mahowny. Now, I wish I could say that I was bright enough to watch this film solely because of the film's obvious connection to the recent news about the gambling problems of NBA Hall-of-Famer Charles Barkley and popular PGA Golfer John Daly. That wasn't why I popped it in my DVD player. I popped Owning Mahowny in because A.) It had been sitting in my collection accumulating dust for the last two years; and B.) It stars Philip Seymour Hoffman, one of my longtime favorite actors. Still, even though Hoffman's performance was riveting, I couldn't help but to think about the Chuckster, one of my all-time favorite athletes, as I watched.

Owning Mahowny was inspired by a true story. There actually was a Toronto bank vice president that used his position to steal money in order to pay his gambling debts. He started taking $10,300, which was the sum of his first gambling debt owed to some goons down at the horse track. By the end of the movie Mahowny had miraculously taken the Bank for $10.2 million. What's even more miraculous, is that he lost it all. Every single penny. He had fantastic luck with his Bank, sneaking money through airports and customs, even at the casinos from time to time. The problem was that he couldn't walk away. Watching Hoffman stuck to that table reminded me of the way a heroin addict is tragically magnetized by a needle. As long as he had access to money, that was money to lose.

A nice mug shot of Sir Charles.

Charles in Charge?

That is where Barkley comes in. Yesterday, I was dumbfounded when I read that Barkley admitted to losing around $10 million to gambling and said "Do I have a gambling problem? Yeah, I do have a gambling problem but I don't consider it a problem because I can afford to gamble." That sounds an awful like Mahowny to me.

It's sad, because even though Chuck said back in the day that he wasn't a "role model," he most definitely is. It's not just that kids of all colors and economic backgrounds look up to him, but also the NBA players of today. Yes, they might want to "be like Mike" (who also seems to have a gambling problem), but they also want to be like Chuck. Today's young athletes are less educated than ever and news like this is bad news for their futures. It seems to me that they have a hard enough time managing their disposable income. Role models such as Chuck only enable them to be even less responsible with their money. Chuck is often the first person to talk about Hurricane Katrina victims or running for office, but it's hard to take him seriously when he is in such a state of denial. Just listen to him "It's not a problem. If you're a drug addict or an alcoholic, those are problems."

Can't you see Barkley twenty years from know? I can see him. He's dead broke and borrowing money from filthy-rich buddies Nike CEO Phil Knight, Michael Jordan (who probably really does have too much money to ever go broke from gambling, but may have lost his father because of his problem) and Tiger Woods to survive the way former Eagles owner and compulsive gambler Leonard Tose did when he borrowed from Dick Vermeil and others. He's going down a nasty path. He's not a professional poker player or a suave sports gambling expert, he's a poor gambler that thinks he has too much money to ever go broke.

Tell that to Mahowny, or better yet, John Daly. Daly said that he has lost an estimated $50-60 million gambling. I was shocked to find out that Daly even had that kind of money. He can't be worth that much, can he? And if he is, and really did lose that much, how is he staying afloat financially? At least Daly is coming to grips with his problem. When asked about his problem he admitted that his gambling could "flat-out ruin" him. At least he's moved past the denial stage. He's got that on Barkley.

Gambling can be fun and entertaining, but is nasty in its addiction form. I've seen compulsive sports gamblers bet ten or twenty times what they started out betting earlier that day, on games they hadn't even really liked coming in, just to recoup their losses. Mahowny once called in $1,000 dollars on all the MLB teams; he took all of the away teams in the National League, and all of the home teams in the American League. He was playing $70,000 a hand in Atlantic City. When gambling gets to this point it isn't just about losing disposable income. It's like a drug addiction. You lose touch with reality on your way to losing everything. Friends. Family. Reputation. Everything. Mahowny was lucky. He only ended up doing a six-year stint in prison as someone's teddy bear and owed basically every dollar he earned once he was released from the can. It can get worse. At least he kept his life, because many people that get that sucked in don't make it out.

I'm not trying to be a square here. I think gambling is a perfectly fine habit if you can control yourself. It is no different than drinking. Lots of people can enjoy throwing down some serious drinks, but some people are awful drunks. You know the kind of people that get banned from all drinking establishments by their P.O. or have a breathalyzer in their car. Those people shouldn't drink, just like compulsive gamblers shouldn't gamble.

I guess I just don't want to see one of the beloved sports heroes from my youth ruin himself and his legacy. There is still time for Barkley to accept and curtail his problem, and he better. Or else his biographical film will end up being called Owning Barkley.

When NCAA Tournament Standout and George Mason star F Jai Lewis (6'7", 290 lbs.) agreed to a rookie free agent contract with the New York Giants earlier this week, it came to no surprise to me. When I watched Lewis during George Mason's miracle run to the Final Four I thought, "this dude would make a devastating NFL tight end or offensive tackle."

It's not like this trail hasn't been blazed before. The two best tight ends in football, the Chargers Antonio Gates and the Kansas City Chiefs Tony Gonzalez, are former college basketball players. Carolina Panthers defensive end Juluis Peppers and Philadelphia Eagles QB Donavon McNabb also played Division I college basketball.

The Giants say that Lewis might even play offensive tackle at the next level. Regardless, Lewis is big, athletic for his size, and has a mean streak. Collegiate basketball has also left him with the footwork and soft hands that few football players can match. Lewis was not the only ex-basketball player signed this week. The Rams signed seldom-used Connecticut F Ed Nelson (6'8", 265 lbs.) to a rookie free agent contract as well.

These signings have got me thinking. Why doesn't the NFL scout more basketball players? What current NBA players would make NFL studs? Here is my list of answers to that second question...

My All-NFL NBA Team:

Starters

• F Joey Graham, Toronto Raptors (6'7", 230) - I don't remember the exact statistics, but Graham was easily the most athletic rookie-to-be at last year's NBA Draft workouts. He was lighting fast, super strong and had a pogo-stick vertical. To be honest, he's not even that great of a basketball player at this point. This is the one current NBA player that I definitely think would be a better NFL player. He has the talent to be a Pro Bowl TE.

• F Ron Artest, Sacramento Kings (6'7", 260 lbs) - He is definitely athletic and powerful enough. However, the main reason for Ron-Ron's inclusion on this list is for kicks. Just imagine the carnage the "Tru Warier" could cause if he was unleashed on the football field. And you thought that Kellen Winslow was a neurotic TE.

• C Shaquille O'Neal, Miami Heat (7'1", 320-360 lbs.) - The one guy that dwarfs Ravens T Jonathon Ogden. Would be a monster offensive tackle. How fun is it to think about Shaq lining up against Pro Bowl defensive ends like Peppers and Indianapolis Colts star Dwight Freeney?

• G Nate Robinson, New York Knicks (5'9", 180 lbs.) Robinson played cornerback while at the University of Washington, so this is no shocker.

• G Allen Iverson, Philadelphia 76ers (5'11", 165 lbs.) - Now this might come as a shocker, but it shouldn't. Iverson was an All-State football star in high school. He also has insane speed and quickness, excellent hands, and has a knack for getting open. Add the fact that he's tougher than your old lunch lady's chicken fried steak, and it's obvious that A.I. would be a stud slot receiver. Think Az Hakim (they even look alike.)

Bench

* G Fred Jones, Indiana Pacers (6'2", 220 lbs.) - Jones, a former NBA Slam Dunk Contest Champ, could be a phenomenal reciever. There wouldn't be a CB in the NFL that could match his serious hops. Well, unless you count Nate-Rob.

* G Jason Kidd, New Jersey Nets (6'4", 210 lbs.) - Kidd has all the itangibles of a great scrambling quarterback--smarts, speed, passing accuracy, elusiveness and leadership ability. In my mind, he might just be the best QB in Jersey (and yes, that is a knock on the J-E-T-S for passing on Matt Leinart).

* G Chauncey Billups, Detroit Pistons (6'3", 210 lbs.) - LenDale White's cuz has safety written all over him. Football seems to be in his family, and as a member of the Pistons, he's definitely tough enough.

* G-F Raja Bell, Phoenix Suns (6'5", 210 lbs.) - Skinny, but as we all witnesssed last night, he can hit. The best clothesline since Dick "Night Train" Lane.

* F James Posey, Miami Heat (6'8", 220 lbs.), Posey would make a great special teams player. I can tell you this: He wouldn't have gotten suspended for that downfield shoulder tackle he made on Kirk Hinrich. He would've been congratulated. Needs to work on wrapping up, though.

* F Danny Fortson, Seattle Sonics (6'7", 270 lbs.) Fortson might just have the horsepower, wheels and motor necessary to play DE in the NFL. However, he would have to shed those girly pigtails for sure.

* C Ben Wallace, Detroit Pistons (6'9", 250 lbs.) Big Ben would have to beef up to play DE, but I can see him as a relentless pash rusher that rings QB's bells. Can't you?

This is more of a rant than a blog, but I think the majority of you will understand. Idolizing Reggie Miller as a boy transformed me into the pro basketball fan that I am today-a die-hard, true-blue Indiana Pacers fan. Being a Pacers fan is difficult enough, because we consistently contend, but we rarely reach the NBA Finals (once during my tenure as a fan, in 2000). In fact, the Pacers have made the playoffs something like 17 of the last 18 seasons. That is more consistently than any other team in the NBA. That's part of what makes us so frustrating. We make the playoffs every single freakin' year but have so zero NBA Championship banners in the rafters. The latest incarnation of the Pacers has been doubly as frustrating. Between the ongoing Artest saga (glad that's over) and an injury plague never before seen in professional sports, this team seriously underachieved. This following another injury-riddled season last year, one in which several lengthy suspensions also severely crippled the Pacers. As a small-market team it also seems like calls from the officials never, ever, ever go our way. Basically, what I am saying is that as a Pacers fan I need no help in the frustration department. Nonetheless, the NBA has so generously provided me with heapings of extra frustration. How? This stupid, worthless television channel called NBA TV. You see, the NBA has so many playoff games on every night that on weekdays some games get stuck on the NBA's channel instead of more prominent channels such as ESPN, ABC or TNT. The problem is that NBA TV is not readily available in most TV markets. Don't believe me? I live in Long Beach, CA, subscribe to digital cable, and I still don't get this useless channel. What teams get stuck on this channel, you ask? Small-market teams and teams without megastars such as Lebron and Shaq. In other words, teams like the Indiana Pacers and Sacramento Kings. In fact, it happened to my Pacers tonight. Game Five of the Chicago Bulls-Miami Heat opening round playoff series got top billing on TNT, my Pacers got NBA TV. This has seemingly happened numerous times in every first round series that we have had over the last several years. Tonight I stayed at home and listened to the game on online radio (like I did last Thursday). I'm sorry, but last Tuesday I went to Hooters for Game Two of the Indiana Pacers-New Jersey Nets opening round playoff series and spent $50-plus bucks to see us get pounded. Not going to do that again tonight. And yes, I understand about putting the games on the "real" channels that draw the most viewers. But c'mon, having three of our last four games on NBA TV is pretty excessive. Hopefully we can somehow find a way to win this series and earn top billing on TV.