Money money money money, Money...

For the love of money

People will steal from their mother

For the love of money

People will rob their own brother

For the love of money

People can't even walk the street

Because they never know who in the world they're gonna beat

For that lean, mean, mean green

Almighty dollar, money...

- From For The Love of Money by the O'Jays

Cash Rules Everything Around Me

It's funny that I just heard that song at the grocery store, because all last week I had money on the brain.

I picked up a second job (or third, really), to pull in some extra "mean green." After all, it's L.A.C. out here, an acronym that not only stands for "Los Angeles, California," but also for "Livin' Ain't Cheap." Gas is currently 3 bucks and 30 cents a gallon and up here in the City of Angels.

I tried to move my mobile phone service career from Sprint to the nifty new ESPN Mobile service. I changed my mind when I learned that the move alone would have cost me in excess of $400. The funny thing is that the phone would have been "free."

I went to see Superman Returns, a $200 million movie partially based around Mr. Clean's evil twin Lex Luthor's lust for wealth. The super-hero flick has raked in a cool $84 million in its first five days.

Kevin Spacey holding a sliver of deadly "Kkkkrypt-to-nite!"

I witnessed my beloved Indiana Pacers lose recently acquired star forward Peja Stojakovic to the New Orleans Hornets hours after the NBA's free agency negotiating period begun. It was just weeks ago that Peja's agent said that his client "would like to finish his career as a Pacer." I guess the Hornets' absurd 5-year, $64 million contract offer changed his mind.

Method Man said it best; Cash indeed does "rule everything around me."

Killing Like Kryptonite

In the Superman series, Kryptonite is a green element lethal to Superman. Much like Kryptonite, money is the green element that can be lethal for both sports and the film industry.

You see, it isn't the ESPN Mobile debacle, gas prices, or even the cost of living that has me outraged. I came to the conclusion long ago that the world does indeed revolve around money. It's money's influence of my two other favorite worlds, sports and the film industry, that's put my boxers in a bunch.

The Stojakovic example was just the latest example of exemplary greed. I wasn't pissed because he isn't coming back to the Pacers. Honestly, he's vastly overrated. I'm pissed that it only took him one hour to decide that money was more important than loyalty or success. It's been going on for quite some time, and I'm sick of it.

The NBA is a financial train wreck. In last week's NBA Draft the Seattle Sonics flushed a top ten pick down the toilet by selecting no-namer Mouhamed Saer Sene and the Phoenix Suns simply donated away two quality late first-round picks. Both moves were cost-cutting procedures. On the flip side, The Denver Nuggets just signed 23-year-old Brazilian forward Nene to a deal worth $60 million. Nene is coming off a season-ending knee injury and his career-high season averages are 11.8 points and 6.5 rebounds per game. Sounds like a $60-million investment to me.

The NBA isn't the only sports league dominated by moolah. In MLB New York Yankees Owner George Steinbrenner has amassed a 2006 player payroll of $198.7 million. Meanwhile, David Glass, the wicked man that owns my Kansas City Royals, is cheaper than Wal-Mart, the company he used to run.

Dough has the NFL by the gonads, too. The owners of the Atlanta Falcons, Dallas Cowboys, and Washington Redskins annually shell out crazy cake in pursuit of the Super Bowl. Meanwhile, my Kansas City Chiefs, er, "Cheaps," have a spendthrift owner in Lamar Hunt. Hunt only does enough to put a playoff contender out on the field. In Kansas City, where BBQ and football are king, that fills the seats. But the Chiefs haven't won a playoff game in an eternity. Sign CB Ty Law already. The Chiefs have been a cash cow and the fans are dying for a playoff run.

Meanwhile, the film industry has been corrupted by cash perhaps even more than sports.

How else can you define an industry in which it is easier to get CHiPs starring Wilmer Valderrama greenlit than Best Picture Crash?

Yo Momma is the only one who thinks you can act.

Hollywood is safe. Yes, great films are still being made, but only sparsely. It's hard to make art when everything is based on projections and formulas. Hell, this is the industry that is giving us yet another Rocky movie instead of a biopic of Joe Lewis or Rocky Marciano. Do I really want to see a punch-drunk 60-year-old Sly Stallone don the gloves one more time? But Rocky 6 is guaranteed to make bank, so it gets shot, chopped, scored, and shoved down our throats.

I'm just sick of everything revolving around money.

Auteur Orson Welles didn't compose his masterpiece Citizen Kane because of cash considerations.

Hall of Fame Running Back Jim Brown didn't punish defenders aplenty for the purse.

The Man of Steel didn't slip on his suit because of a super-sized Metropolis salary.

They did it for the love of the game.

I guess I just long for a return to those days and still have that "love of the game." For both sports and film. Sometimes I wonder-"does anyone else?"

Team USA is a 6-5 underdog to Ghana, but still...

We Ghana get these suckas!

GO TEAM USA

(Final Score Update: Ghana 2, USA 1)

The 2006 season of Dallas was cancelled Tuesday night in favor of Miami Vice, er, Miami Heat. If Mark Cuban is the Mavericks answer to J.R. Ewing, then the question of the day is definitely:

Who Shot J.R.?

The Candidates

* David Stern

* Dwyane Wade

* Shaquille O'Neal

* Josh Howard

* Dirk Nowitzki

* The Referees

* Pat Riley

* Avery Johnson

* Jerry Stackhouse

* The Heat Role Players

* Mark Cuban

Just who was it that ultimately shot down "J.R." Cuban and his NBA Championship aspirations?

The NBA Loves The 80's

During the 1980s, many memorable shows dominated the TV airwaves.

Cheers. Dynasty. The A-Team. Dallas. Family Ties. L.A. Law. The Cosby Show. Miami Vice. Roseanne. Hill Street Blues.

Only two of those classic TV shows will receive blockbuster big-screen adaptations in the next year-and-a-half-Dallas and Miami Vice.

While both remakes are expected to be major box office hits, Miami Vice will likely end up becoming the bigger success story.

Miami Vice has Jamie Foxx, perhaps the hottest young movie star in America. Vice has Michael Mann, the award-winning Writer/Director. Vice has Colin Farrell, and while his acting isn't always De Niro-esque, the Irishman is Hollywood's latest Fonz. Finally, Vice has the bright lights and beautiful people of South Beach.

Dallas has Luke Wilson, whose career is just "Luke" warm compared to Foxx's sizzle. Dallas has Gurinder Chadha, who, since you haven't heard of her, directed Bend It Like Beckham. Dallas has John Travolta, who also is no De Niro, and unlike Farrell, hasn't achieved Fonzie status since the late 70's. Finally, Dallas' homely backdrop can't compare to the glamour and glitz of Vice's location

Kinda reminds me of the NBA Finals.

The Miami Heat have Dwyane Wade, one of the best players in the NBA and People Magazine's "50 Most Beautiful People." The Heat have Pat Riley, the championship-winning Head Coach. The Heat have Shaquille O'Neal, and while he definitely won't be mistaken for De Niro, the Big Malapropism is still the NBA's Fonz. And yes, the Heat have the bright lights and beautiful people of South Beach.

Shaq's pretty cool, but this cool?

The Dallas Mavericks best player, Dirk Nowitzki, is a lanky German that resembles Scooby-Doo's Shaggy. The Mavericks Head Coach, Avery Johnson, sounds like he just inhaled a balloon-full of helium. The Mavericks Owner, Mark Cuban, is an ex-computer geek so uncool he makes Technology Kip look Fonz-like. And once again, Dallas' backdrop ain't got jack on Miami's.

Based on marketability, that's an easy pick. Right?

That's just the thing-you don't pick in sports. Ever hear the expressions "let 'em play" or "may the best man win?" Sure, they are trite, but they are also true. The reason we fell in love with sports in the first place is because sometimes History writes better storylines than we could ever conceive ourselves. I say let History pick up the quills and do its thing.

Unfortunately, NBA Commissioner David Stern doesn't agree.

Not only has Stern and his regime favored the Heat during these NBA Finals because of the abovementioned reasons, but also because of his disdain for Cuban. Let's just say that Cuban and Stern have had some tiffs in the past, usually over the policies of the league and the performance of its officials.

As a result of both the appeal of the Miami Heat and his hatred of Cuban, Stern seems hell-bent on making O'Neal and Wade Miami's most popular duo since Vice's Sonny Crockett and Rico Tubbs.

Since I've made the accusations, here is the evidence...

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The Odds are Stack-ed Against 'Em

In Game 4, Mavs G Jerry Stackhouse impeded what would have been an easy Shaq dunk with what used to be a "good, clean, hard foul." In fact, even the refs officiating the game didn't believe that the foul was excessive. They only issued Stackhouse a Flagrant One foul. I think Wade's knee-jerk reaction to mediate a potential fight made the foul look more severe than it actually was.

Stackhouse is a well-respected player that has been accused of being "soft," but never, ever of being a bully. He simply wanted to keep Shaq, a horrendous free-throw shooter, from getting two easy points. That is no easy task. Stackhouse had no idea how hard he would have to contact Shaq in order to prevent an easy flush, so he went for the ball hard, getting a lot of body in the process. And when a 340 lb man hits the ground after running at full speed, it will always look bad.

Stackhouse's one-game suspension is a joke. Sacramento Kings F Ron Artest, the NBA's version of Mike Tyson, received a one-gamer for maliciously going after Manu Ginobli in a blowout. Heat F Udonis Haslem received a one-gamer for chucking his mouthpiece at a ref. Mavs G Jason Terry and Nuggets F Reggie Evans both received one-gamers for trying to rearrange their opponents man-atomy.

And Stack gets a one-game vacation for what used to be a "good, clean, hard foul?" This is simple-Stern saw his chance to aid the Heat in this series and pounced. Call me clinically insane, but I really believe that Stackhouse, possibly the NBA's best sub, would have made a difference in the Mavs' Game 5 101-100 OT loss to the Heat.

Dwyane's World

Game 5 free-throw attempts: Dwayne Wade 25, Dallas Mavericks 24.

Now I understand team's getting a call here and there at home, but this is getting re-freakin'-diculous. Wade is a damn good player, arguably as good as any in the league today. But all of a sudden the third-year marvel is getting treatment that I'm not even sure M.J. used to get back in the day. The most free throws that his Airness ever attempted during his prolific 15-year career was 27. The numbers just don't add up.

To make matters worse, the refs handed Wade the game-winning points on a silver platter. First, it looked like there was a backcourt violation when he caught the inbounds pass with 9.1 seconds left in overtime. Second, even though he drew a foul on his drive to the hoop with 1.9 seconds remaining, it appeared that he was the one who was out of control. Wade even knocked Jason Terry down to the floor.

Nonetheless, despite both the apparent backcourt violation and the phantom foul, Wade was awarded two free throws. He calmly stepped up and knocked down both shots, giving the Heat the 101-100 victory.

Out Of Time?

The NBA and Game 5 refs Joey Crawford and Joe DeRosa stand by the claim that Mavs F Josh Howard boneheadedly burned the Mavs final timeout in-between Wade's decisive free throws. Crawford says that Howard was looking right at DeRosa when he signaled "timeout."

That is complete B.S.

Howard has vehemently denied this claim, saying that he "was looking straight at Coach" when he made the signal. I watched the entire game. It was obvious to me that Howard was communicating with Johnson over when to call the Mavs' final timeout. I understand that Howard has to be more alert during late-game situations, but the refs also have to allow players to communicate with their coaches.

The refs jumped all over the Mavs communication breakdown. Although they won't admit it, it was a subtle way to ensure Stern's Game 5 objective-another Heat victory.

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Stay Tuned

With two home games still remaining on the TV Guide, the Mavs still have a remote chance to foil Stern's master programming. The Mavs could do that by winning both games, wrapping up the NBA Finals with a shocking season finale-The Dallas Mavericks first NBA Championship.

It's inevitable-the 2006 season of Dallas will end tragically.

But from where I am sitting, with my TV Dinner, it certainly looks like Stern will make sure that the NBA Finals have an ending that is more faithful to the two original shows. With Wade and Shaq, Vice's new uber-cool duo, on top, and Dallas' new J.R. Ewing, Cuban, shot down.

If that happens, instead of all these "Nowitzness" t-shirts, we'll start seeing some "Stern Shot J.R" ones.

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