Like Mike. If I could be like Mike.

Then I could sue Michael Jordan and Nike founder Phil Knight for $832 million too.

A Portland man is reportedly doing just that, claiming that he's been mistaken for arguably the most recognizable athlete on the planet every day for the past 15 years and saying "it makes it very uncomfortable" for him.

Allen Heckard is suing Jordan for defamation, permanent injury, emotional pain and suffering. Because, you know, being mistaken for Michael Jordan when you're playing hoops at the gym is such a insult. Knight, meanwhile, is getting tagged for defamation and permanent injury for Nike's role in making Jordan one of the world's most famous athletes and, in the process, apparently a dead ringer (minus roughly six inches, a couple hundred million dollars and Hall-of-Fame basketball skills) for Allen Heckard.