I don't know if the New York Post's little fake Jessica Simpson stunt (in which 21-year-old nanny and Simpson look-alike Lynsey Nordstrom attended the game wearing the same pink No. 9 Cowboys jersey the aformentioned Yoko Romo wore during Dallas' regular-season loss to Philadelphia) had any effect whatsoever on the outcome of Sunday's Giants-Cowboys playoff game.

But I do know this: I'm now rooting wholeheartedly for a Giants-Patriots showdown in Super Bowl XLII.

Sure, the Packers might be more competitive and a Super Bowl appearance would be a fitting swan song for Brett Favre.

But the fake Gisele Bundchen-fake Bridget Moynahan cat fight on the sidelines of University of Phoenix Stadium would just be epic.

Joakim Noah wasn't voted off the island ... but it was close.

Having decided that a one-game suspension was insufficient punishment after Noah was involved in a confrontation with assistant coach Ron Adams, the rest of his teammates unanimously voted in favor of benching the rookie for another game.

Seeing as how it is an election year, we think it would be only fitting if the Bulls continue to vote on any number of Noah-related matters throughout the rest of the season. Such as ...

- Is it time for Noah to get a big boy haircut?

- Should Noah have to don the suit he wore to the NBA draft along with big floppy shoes and a fake red nose and visit kids in Chicago-area hospitals?

- For how long should Noah be forced to attend dance lessons at Arthur Murray to ensure that scenes like this one are never ever repeated?

Democracy in action is a beautiful thing. God bless America.

Terrell Owens is not about to let Jessica Simpson tear apart the Cowboys locker room and ruin the team's shot at a Super Bowl season.

Come on, doesn't she know that's his job?

And no pink jersey-wearing, pizza-selling hussy is going to come into his house and take that away from him ... even if she is dating the starting quarterback.

"Right now, Jessica Simpson is not a fan favorite - in this locker room or in Texas Stadium," Owens said Wednesday, three days after teammate Tony Romo appeared to be a wee bit distracted by Simpson's presence during the Cowboys' 10-6 loss to the Eagles.

"With everything that has happened, obviously with the way Tony (Romo) played and the comparison between her and Carrie Underwood, I think a lot of people feel she has taken his focus away. Other than that, she was high on my list until last week."

So take that, Yoko ... I mean, Jessica.

Now for T.O.'s sake, we certainly hope Simpson heeds Owens' warning. Because after last season's suici ... er, accidental overdose, there's not really much room left for Owens to up the ante when it comes to chemistry-wrecking maneuvers.

Peace on earth, good will toward men.

Unless of course, you were found to have financed a major dogfighting operation and compounded the horrors associated with that blood sport by executing several of your dogs via electrocution, drowning and hanging.

In that case, a mighty "Bah, Humbug!" to you.

That's the Christmas greeting PETA is sending to Northern Neck Regional Jail, where Michael Vick is currently serving 23 months after pleading guilty to one count of conspiracy to operate an interstate dogfighting ring.

And thanks to PETA, you can send that same greeting to anyone you wish.

The animals rights advocate has created an e-card that features the disgraced former NFL quarterback pacing back and forth in a prison yard, trapped in a snow globe, while an announcer repeatedly exclaims, "They got to the quarterback's blindside there. He never had a chance."

Because, hey, nothing spreads yuletide cheer like mocking the recently incarcerated.

When your sport is teetering on the edge of irrelevance, sometimes you've got to get a little creative with regard to your marketing strategy.

Roger Federer staking his claim as the greatest male tennis player of all time not doing anything to float your boat? OK, how about if we poison Tommy Haas on the eve of a key Davis Cup match with Russia? Just, you know, hypothetically speaking, would that get your attention?

Not going to tune in for Kim Clijsters' farewell tour? OK, we've got a legal dispute involving a crotch shot of one of our lovely lady competitors and another one testing positive for cocaine. Now if we could only somehow combine the two, then we'd really have something for our promotions department to work with.

Hey, don't blame us. We tried a good, old-fashioned gambling scandal and it didn't move the needle one damn bit.

And if this doesn't work, we're going to have Nicole Vaidisova make it rain at a dog fight where Tim Donaghy and O.J. Simpson are both betting big.

Get used to it. We aren't going to be ignored any longer.