Man, times are tough.

For example, the value of the dollar is so diminished, that A-Rod is using $100 bills for napkins.

I mean, seriously. You used to almost be able to fill up your gas tank for that amount. Now, you might as well just pull out your bankroll and use that fat wad of Benjamins to blow your nose for all the good it's going to do you as a form of currency. 

As for A-Rod, we're guessing he's had to resort to using cash as fine linens because all his Lehman Brothers stock certificates are already on a roll in his master bathroom.