So where were you this past week when the World Cup drawing was happening? Chances are if you live outside of the US you were in a bar, stinking drunk, waiting for the drawing to commence. Hanging on every seeding, wondering if you'd finally get to see the dream Netherlands v. Ivory Coast match-up. However if you live in the US you were doing whatever it is Americans do these days, shooting pool, ignoring your wives, or listening to the rap music you seem to love so damn much. In other words you couldn't care less about a thing a few billions people cared deeply about. I played soccer for 15 years and I still don't really enjoy watching it. I can't really think of why.

People say soccer is boring, but have you ever been to an NFL game? There are more starts and stops than the time with my girlfriend after I mixed Viagra and horse tranquilizers. Some times the most interesting thing about an NFL game is wondering how the commercial time out guy (the guy on the field dressed all in red) got his job. And don't get me started on baseball, it can make church seem like a Minnesota Viking's bachelor party. So the fact that soccer is boring to watch can't be the reason.

It could be because we as Americans are too lazy to do the jumping around, chanting, and flares that makes soccer as much fun for the rest of the world. Well, that's probably part of it, but doesn't quite explain it.

Lastly, it could be because there are no truly elite American soccer players as of yet. True there are very good players, but the best American player would be a 1^st sub or complimentary player on the world's best teams. But hockey was popular for a long time without many really elite American born players. In fact, if I'm remembering correctly, no American has won a major postseason award in hockey even to this day.

I think the problem lies in the perception that soccer is a European game, and there has been a subtle anti-European bias in the US for a long time for whatever reason. Not enough hatred to go take over them or anything, which we could do, but just like a co-worker you don't like. If said co-worker came up to you and said "Man, I just saw the greatest movie, you have to go see it" the last movie you would see would be the one he was talking about. Same with soccer, because everyone else thinks it's so great we tend to just cling closer to our own invented games. It's human nature.

Another problem is there's no big, important soccer victory in US Team history. Sure they beat Columbia in '94, and Portugal last year, but in the long run who cares? Soccer needs its Miracle on Ice moment. Miracle in Munich would have a good ring should they win the World Cup. Of course if you think the world hates us now, wait till we win the World Cup.

Also, and this is a personal thing, but I hate the way a great many soccer players will make like JFK in Dallas at the slightest touch. Diving is the norm in soccer, not the exception. And if you've ever seen Vlade Divac play basketball you know it must be some kind of European thing.

That's the best explanation I can give for the lack of popularity of soccer in America. I wouldn't count on it changing anytime soon. Sorry soccer fans.