This blog could have also easily been called Parallel Universes. After Francisco Cabrera of the Atlanta Braves started a trend of nobodies killing Pittsburgh teams in the playoffs (which is another blog in of itself) I cried. I was 11 years old, and I cried like a little female dog. Back in 1992 the Pittsburgh Pirates were at the end of a 3 year run that each time culminated in losses in the NLCS. Little did anyone know at the time that it would be the start of one of the great slumps in sports history, and one of the great runs in sports history.

The fellow who could not throw out the winning run (Sid Bream, considered by many the slowest major leaguer in history) was one Barry Bonds. That would be his last game in a Pirate uniform. The Pirates had a choice, sign him or fan favorite and darn good ball player in his own right Andy Van Slyke. Well, you all know how they chose. Since then Barry has gone on to become one of the great players in MLB history. And the Pirates have not had a winning season since. Through 2 presidents and 3 and a half terms we Pirate fans have not known winning. We've endured John Leiber for Brant Brown, Derek Bell, the 2003 rule 5 draft (you're welcome Tigers), and Aramis Ramirez for a bag of baseballs among other vomit enducing moves. Some blame baseball's finances for how bad the Pirates are. But since 1992 the Twins, Athletics, Indians, and even Kansas City have had winning seasons. The small-market excuse is just that, an excuse. This off-season has been the most promising that I can remember, and all we did is trade for an about to be over the hill 1st baseman for a year. I can hear his hamstring pulling as we speak.

On the opposite end of the spectrum is the Atlanta Braves organization. Since 1992 they have not only had winning seasons every year, they have made the playoffs every year. In that time they found Andrew Jones, pulled  a 47 year old guy off the street and had him play well, and (perhaps most remarkably of all) JD Drew spent a whole year there and played practically the whole season. That's about as likely as a NAMBLA ad during the Super Bowl.

What is the explanation for the 2 teams having such opposite reactions to a playoff series? Some would say the Braves have one of the best front offices in all of sports. And that monkeys have been running the Pirates since at least 1987. The poo throwing kind, not the Davey Jones kind. However I choose to be like most people in this area and blame Barry Bonds. It's a little known fact (Legal disclaimer: none of the following is true) that Barry was actually born to a voodoo priestess who had to put him up for adoption. There's not much money in voodooing you know. However, before she dropped him off she taught him all her secrets, including how to cause baseball people's brains to turn to shredded newspaper. He used his powers well against the team who abandoned him.. Also, using voodoo causes your body and head to grow inexplicably, so that explains other things too. It's the Curse of the Bondsbeano.

And what caused the Braves success? Um I dunno, Gatorade?