A couple of weeks ago I wrote a post describing the real reason why Alex Rodriguez and Derek Jeter can't stand each other. Well, it doesn't end there, here's part 2 of the Saga. The Middle School Years.

Alex and Derek have solved their problems from elementary school and are friends again. Or so they thought

Derek- I'm glad we can put our differences behind us Alex.

Alex- Well Derek, we had some tough times. With the Nintendo incident and the Lego incident. I'm glad we can be friends again.

Derek- Sure thing (takes out a ring he found in a cereal box)

Alex- Where did you get that?

Derek- Oh this, I found it. Why?

Alex- Well, because I had a cereal box and there was no ring inside.

Derek- Are you saying that I stole it?

Alex- No, no, no, Mr. Perfect Jeter. You did nothing wrong. You want me to get you anything else your highness.

Derek- Look it's not my problem that you don't have a ring, Alex. I got lucky I guess.

Alex- Lucky huh? My therapist warned me about this. He said...

Derek- You're still going to Dr. Andrews? I thought you stopped that back in elementary school. Look, you aren't going to start talking all proper again are you because if you are, I'm leaving.

Alex- I listen to Dr. Andrews, Dr. Reeves, Dr. Jones, and Dr. Ramirez

Derek- How many doctors do you go to Alex?

Alex- About 8.

Derek- There's something wrong with you bro.

Alex- Bro? Oh, so I'm your bro now huh. That's very nice. Well bro, why don't you give me my ring back.

Derek- For the last time, I didn't take your ring. I earned it.

Alex- You earned it? How did you earn it? Oh I know, you probably had you're rich uncle buy you 2500 boxes until you got the one with the ring. Is that right Derek. Because you know with your uncle there's no limit on spending for you.

Derek- No, look it's just a stupid ring. Why do you want it so bad?

Alex- A ring can define your career Derek. You're either a legend or a bum without it.

Derek- What career? You're in the 7th grade Alex. And a legend, please tell me what makes you legendary. You're ability to speak what you think is Spanish?

Alex- Oh, so now you're mocking my people?

Derek- Your people? Alex, you were born in Miami. Are your people Miamians because the last I checked Miami is in Florida which is in the United States. And you say I'm mocking you? What about when you told the school newspaper that I wear Speedos instead of bathing suits? And how do you even know that I wear a Speedo. Are you stalking me?

(Alex says nothing, Jason and Jeremy Giambi walks into the room hearing the argument.)

Jason- Look guys, can't we just get along? You two our the best players on the dodge ball team and without you guys, we stuck.

Alex- Shut up Jason, We don't you and Jeremy go take some more of those illegal Flintstone vitamins in the bathroom. Because we all know you have no talent at all.

(The two brothers turn around and start crying. Their backs are full of acne and hair, the side affects to illegal Flintstone vitamins given by Victor Conte, the school janitor.)

Derek- That wasn't necessary Alex. Jeremy and Jason are good guys.

Alex- Oh sure, stick up for them. When was the last time you stood up for me Derek? When?

Derek- Look, this relationship is over.

Alex- Fine, Chuck Knoublach is a better friend anyways.

I'll be back with this story in the next couple of weeks with part 3, the high school years.

Everyone has heard of Gary Matthews Jr. being linked to the internet steroid selling in Orlando, and in my opinion, it's really making sense of things. Throughout Matthews's career he was a journeyman, and then all of a sudden he's an All Star. It doesn't take a genius to put two and two together; you don't become a great ball player over night unless you had some help. That's really why I hate the whole steroid issue, we must always speculate when someone has a great year. The steroid issue has really clouded the views of some fans; they think that no player is good enough to consistently put up great numbers without taking something. Matthews made a mistake; he did not deny the report. When asked about the issue he simply stated that until he gets more information, he can not comment on the matter. Gary, if I were you I would say I know absolutely nothing about this thing in Orlando and I've never taken illegal substances in my life. Whether the statements true or false, you still deny. Deny, Deny, Deny. Because everyone will think, " We'll, if he didn't deny it, it must be true."

The Raiders should not draft a quarterback with the first pick. I don't care how far Russell can throw the ball or how much media publicity Quinn will bring you, do not draft a quarterback. A rookie quarterback can make a big impact on a team if there's already talent there. Ben Rothlesberger is a great example of this. But the Raiders don't have offensive talent, they have an ok running back, a sub par receiving core, and an offensive line that, to say the least, is god awful. Who should they draft then? The logical choice is Joe Thomas but they won't do it because they drafted Gallery a couple of years back and he hasn't turned out to be the stud they thought he was going to be. The one player I really hope they don't get is Calvin Johnson just because I hope he's there for the Bucs to pickup with the 4th pick. Calvin is such an amazing talent, it's kind of scary. He shows up at the columbine 9 pounds overweight and was initialy not going to do any work outs. Scouts were right then questioning his work habit, so he borrows someone's shoes and runs a 4.35 in the 40. He's 6'5'' 240 pounds and runs a 4.35. You don't play football in shorts and a t-shirt, but how many guys that are considered overweight and still run a 4.35.

If you are a person whose sending death threats to Barry Bonds, I feel really sorry for you. I don't care if you like him or not, sending death threats is the most ridiculous thing ever. The guy hasn't killed anyone, he just plays baseball. Sure he might have taken HGH, but that gives no reason for you to threaten his life. I think the guy is a complete (expletive) hole, but I would never send a death threat to him or anyone. Why can't we put the steroids aside and just watch Barry Bonds play baseball. He's going to chase a magical record, why can't we just watch him play the game. Like I said, if you send the man a death threat, I feel really sorry for you.

Thank you, Bears organization. You finally paid Lovie Smith the kind of money he deserves. Although it took you a little while, I'm glad you came to your senses and paid the man. Now Lovie can focus on just football and hopefully produce a championship for your organization. Great move on the part of the Bears.

Kevin Durant is without question the best player in the NCAA. Did anyone watch that game last night? It was awesome, just awesome. Law was also great for the Aggies but Durant outshined him. There's really nothing that kid can't do on a basketball court. If he bulks up more, I would seriously consider taking him over Oden if I had the first pick in next years draft. That is if he leaves which I don't think he will. I think he enjoys the college game and that's a great thing. There's nothing like going to college and I can't wait for my turn. Only a couple more years.

Oh my God!!! Dice-K struck out minor leaguers and pitched batting practice in spring training. Hand him the CY Young now, we can forget about even playing the season. That's a load of bull. I've stated that I have nothing against the guy, but ESPN keeps slamming him down our throats and I'm just sick of it. I know he was a really good pitcher in Japan and can throw a gyro ball and blah blah blah. Dice-K mania has reached a level of over exposure, the guy has yet to throw one single inning and experts are calling him the savior of the Red Sox's pitching staff. Let's see what he does against the Yankees in September/ October. Oh look, Espn is showing Dice-K throw long toss. He's the best long tosser I've ever seen. He has a place in Cooperstown just for being such a great long tosser. Give me a break.

The cover boy for the new EA Sports NCAA Football 2008 game is ... Boise States quarterback, Jared Zabranski. No, really, he is. I could easily make fun of this but I'm not. I'm actually happy that EA Sports gave the cover to a pretty unknown player. Ask the common person where Boise State is and I would bet you anything they wouldn't guess the universities in Idaho. I'm glad they gave it to the underdogs of College Football, Boise State. Boise's has had tremendous success in the last couple of seasons, but they are not respected like a big time program. But it doesn't matter to me who's on the cover; I'm going to buy the game anyways.

Baseball is finally about to begin. It's my favorite time of the year and I really can't wait. But the competitive side of me is gone by May because I root for the Devil Rays and let's face it, they'll be in last place forever. We actually have a pretty good team, a great young outfield, a decent but young infield, and a pretty good line up. But, we have no one after Kazmir. The drop between Kazmir and the next good pitcher is huge. And the bullpen, oh the bullpen. I don't really want to get on the bullpen because it's just so bad. If baseball was just a game where you used you're line up only in a game, we would have a shot. But unfortunately, baseball is not played that way and until then, we'll be sitting in last place in the AL East. Oh, and a salary cap would also help.

That's all I got, feel free to comment

All college players who enter the NFL Draft are put through a series of rigorous physical tests. They are also put to the test mentally by a test known as the Wonderlic Personnel Test, which is similar to an IQ test. I have actually found a copy of the test and would now like to share it with you. Fell free to answer as many questions as you can.

1. Look at the row of Super Bowls below. What number Super Bowl should come next?

Super Bowl XXXIV Super Bowl XXXV Super Bowl XXXVI Super Bowl XXXVII Super Bowl XXXVIII

a) XXXIX b) Those aren't numbers, they're letters, dumb shit c) 39 d) Screw the Super Bowl, I want to get paid bitch

2. Assume the first two statements are true. Is the final one:

Bill Romanowski took steroids. Steroids can cause men to grow breasts. Bill Romanowski has man-boobs.

a) True b) False c) How the hell should I know d) Men have boobs? E) Are they the same size as Bill Parcell's

3. If you were drafted by Oakland, you would?

A) Wish I was never born B) Die a painful death C) Wait until Al Davis mummifies and then play for the Raiders

4. Which number is bigger?

A)30,000 B) 1,000,000 C) 10,000,000 D) My salary E) My illegitimate kids

5. ASK | AT • Do these words:

a) Have similar meanings b) Have contradictory meanings c) Shit:; they're the same words, bro

6. Assume the first two statements are true. Is the final one:

Tom Brady throws footballs. Tom Brady was blessed by the Pope. Tom Brady's kid is the second coming of Jesus Christ.

a) True b) False c) Brady's a pimp d) Only one kid, I had more in high school

7. Marcus Vick runs a 4.37 and Maurice Clarett runs a 4.45. Who has a better chance of out-running the cops and evading arrest?

a) Vick b) Clarrett c) Do they let cops play football now d) It depends, which one has a gun

8. If Adam and Eve where the first humans, then

a) They did it right? B) Bobby Bowden is their kid c) Did Adam and Eve go up the hill to fetch a pail of water? No, I got my nursery rhymes mixed up.

9. If you were once the top NFL player in the game, but all of the sudden you retired to pursue other things, you would?

A) Go on a vh1 reality show B) there's life after football? where's that in my contract C) Be Chris Berman's bitch at ESPN

10. If it took you 5 hrs to get from New York to Florida, and then 3 hours to get from Florida to Arizona, how many hours would you spend on the plane?

A) Math and flying are two things I don't mess with B) 8 c) Why would I want to go to Arizona?
11. What's the best way to alienate fans?

a) Leave the field early b) Give less than 100% c) Write a Children's book on your alter ego D) NFL Fans are aliens? That's pretty scary, bro. That E.T. that shit don't fly with me

12. Assume the first two statements are true. The third one would be?

Peyton Manning Loves football. Peyton Manning won the Super Bowl. Eli Manning has never gotten laid.

A)True B) False C) I didn't even have to read the first two, just seeing the words Eli Manning and getting laid in the same sentence is absolutely hilarious

13.What would you do if you were drafted by the Bengals?

a) Go out on the town with Chris Henry b) make it rain with some strippers c) see if cops really don't work in Cinncinatti

14. What's the Wonderlic?

A) A dance move B) the famous bread company C) the test you just took D) I did that shit last night with my shorty.

What is the Gyro Ball?  Is it nothing more than a Japanese version of a slider? Is it an epidemic that has caused many well respected sporting sites to spend weeks explaining it? Maybe. My guess is once a few hitters see the gyro ball; it's going to become apparent that its secret is that it travels about 400 feet in the opposite direction fairly often. It's just a splitter with a little more downward movement. That's all it really is, a combination of a splitter and cut fastball. I won't fully understand it until Scooter explains it for me on Fox Baseball. Anyways, there are some myths on the gyro ball that I would now like to share with you. This is the stuff ESPN won't let you see.

The Gyro ball is mear space junk left over from the formation of our solar system. There are three reasons why astronomers will never give it planetatary status, it has an elliptical orbit (as opposed to a circular one), it doesn't orbit our sun, and it has a cork center instead of a heavy metal core.

The pitch spins in circles, change directions in mid-air and dates Salma Hayek. All at the same time

Dice K Matsuzaka needed help from the top Japanese scientists to find a pitch that would counteract the effects of the rampaging, radiation-mutated Barry Bonds

You can throw a gyro ball in Baseball Simulator on the original Nintendo, but it would split into 3 different balls and had flames shooting out of them.

Kerry Wood tried to throw it once and has never been the same. 

The gyro ball was one of the causes for man-made Global Warming. It's magnetism seems to get it's strength from the nothern Magnetic Pole [or Czech] and is causing the glaciers to get slushy and the Polar Bears to P&M.

Rex Grossman tried to throw a Gyro Ball during the Super Bowl, but unfortunately, it doesn't work for two sports.

The gyro ball is the father of Anne Nicole Smiths kid and is the father of Bridget Monyhan's kid. Let's just say it gets around.

Manny Ramirez reported early to spring training because the gyroball told him to.

Tom Selleck had trouble hitting the gyro ball when he was playing in Japan.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for the gyro ball.

The gyro ball is the reason why Waldo is hiding

Matt Millen tried to draft the gyro ball in last year's NFL draft thinking it was Japanese for wide receiver. He was sadly mistaken.

David Wells is trying to learn how to pitch the gyro ball so he can revive his career. He's eaten enough gyros, why not try a pitch named after it?

The gyro ball once challenged the BCS to a fight. The BCS has never been the same

The gyro ball challenged Roger Federrer to a tennis match. Unfortunately, Federrer has yet to accept the challenge or humiliation he will receive from it.

It takes more time to deliver a gyro then to finish watching the Oscars and let me tell you, that's a long ass time.

The gyro ball is behind all the blog wars between Dusty, NYace, Fatmaw, Socal, and everyone else that's in the war. So if you want to blame anything, blame the gyro ball.

So there you have it, the truth behind the Gyro Ball. Or is it?

Everyone wants to know the real story behind the relationship between Alex Rodriguez and Derek Jeter. The basic question is why don't they like each other? Many have pointed out that it was negative comments Alex made towards Jeter in a magazine and Jeter has yet to forgive him. But it goes much farther back than that. How far you may ask? About 20 odd years ago when A-Rod and Jeter where both 11 years old. Here's the story of when their relationship took a turn for the worst.

In a 5th grade, Alex and Derek are the most popular kids in Kalaiami Middle School. They had everything: friends, legos, and all the gummi worms they could eat. But that wasn't enough, Alex wanted perfection and Jeter just wanted to have a good time. There personalities finally clashed on this frightful day.

A-Rod is playing with his Lego Marine Laboratory and Derek walks up hoping he can help his friend.

Derek- Hey Alex, you need some help buddy?

Alex- No Derek, this experiment is way too complex for your dense mind to comprehend.

Derek- Why are you talking so weird Alex? Ever sense you went to Mrs. Matthews the school nurse you've been talking so proper. Jesus, were only in 5th grade man, have some fun man.

Alex- I will not oblige to the pressure my parents or you Derek have possessed on me. I must finish this Marine Laboratory and it must be perfect. Hand me the 2 dimensional circumference poles.

Derek- I hope I'm not thinking want you want me to hand to you Alex. (Other kids start giggling.)

Alex- No, Derek. It's a word I've created for a ruler.

Derek- Why didn't you just say ruler? It would have save me so much time.

Alex- It's all about you isn't Derek? Mister perfect who can do no wrong in the eyes of everyone. Why don't you go watch Sponge bob you stupid Neanderthal.

Derek- Are you still mad at me when I pulled out your control in Super Mario Brothers? Look, I'm really sorry about that.

Alex- You don't understand Derek, it no one blames you for anything. I beat you in Mario Brothers and our friends say you had an off day and whenever I lose, they say I'm horrible and will never amount to anything. I just can't handle the pressure Derek.

Derek- You can't handle the pressure of a video game?

Alex- Ok, fine. Make fun of me. Haha, very funny. Alex speaks so proper and he wears purple lipstick. Big Freaking Deal.

Derek- You wear purple lipstick? That actually explains a few things.

Alex- Yes, I do and I'm proud of that. You know what Derek; I'm not inviting you to my birthday party. This friend ship is over.

Derek- That's fine with me. It's not like I wanted to go to another one of your "sleepovers' Alex. My booty still hurts from the last time I went.

And they've never been the same ever since