Cleveland Cavaliers center Scot Pollard looked into the camera during a recent game and said, "Hey kids, do drugs." That was a totally idiotic thing to say and Pollard has apologized and said that it was just a bad joke. But this got me thinking, what other professional athlete would say something idiotic like this. Here's what I came up with.

Barry Bonds- "Hey kids, take HGH. You'll be as strong as your daddy and the best thing is, no one can find out. Your head might grow the size of a planet and your balls may shrink to the size of acorns, but it's totally worth it."

Pacman Jones- "Hey kids, go to strip clubs. While you're there, make it rain. They love that stuff."

Tank Johnson-"Hey kids, buy lots and lots of guns. One of each kind would be better. And when you get the guns, go outside and shot them. There lots of fun.''

Jeremy Stevens-"Hey kids, drink and drive. When you're drunk, you feel totally awesome and then when you drive, it gets even better. You see three different highways at the same time, and the adventure is trying to find the right one. How cool is that?"

Alex Rodriguez- "Hey kids, go to 10 different therapists. You can never have too many therapists evaluating you. I have six at my home in New York and 9 in my home in Miami and let me tell you something, they do wonders."

Tom Brady- "Hey kids, have premarital sex. Especially with a lot of really good looking women. You might get a couple of kids here and there but still, it's all worth it."

Cincinnati Bengals- "From all of us here in Cincinnati, we would like to tell you kids to break every law in the books. But make sure you do it in Cincinnati; you never get thrown in jail. Trust us."

Terrell Owens- "Hey kids, model your life after me. You may have some bumps in the road here and there but you will be loved by all. Oh, and buy lots of pills. There so yummy.'

Pete Rose- "Hey kids, gamble all the money you have on your favorite team. Trust me; it all works out in the end. I may not be in the Hall of Fame but one day I will. Want to bet when?"

Jerry Jones- "Hey kids, have lots and lots of plastic surgery. You'll be very good looking when all the surgeries are done. Just look at me."

Bob Knight- " Hey kids, choke your best friends. It's the ultimate sign of respect so you should do it. If they don't let you, throw a chair at them. That'll teach em."

You know the book Chicken Soup for the teenage soul? Well the advices that I listed above are like Porridge for the Criminal Mind.