Dear Roger Clemens: I don't hate you anymore.

Hate is a strong word, but it's a word that all Red Sox fans have used when it comes to Roger Clemens circa 1996 and beyond. But I just can't do it anymore. I've reached the point where I can forgive Roger of his past sins. I now have the utmost respect for what this man has accomplished, and continues to accomplish.

Pitching for the Houston Astros this past season, Clemens went 13-8 with a league-leading and career-best 1.87 ERA. He finished 10th in strikeouts, 1st in hits allowed per 9 innings, and would have won the Cy Young Award if his team could have hit their way out of a paper bag for him. He was hands down one of the best pitchers in baseball. And he's 43 years old.

His career stats are beyond words: an unprecedented 7 Cy Young Awards; the American League MVP in 1986; an 11-time All-Star; 2nd on the all-time strikeouts list; 9th in all-time wins.

But Clemens' story-like so many others-goes beyond stats. My earliest memory of Clemens is the night of April 29, 1986. He came into that one 3-0 with a 1.85 ERA, and the buzz was starting to build around this young, 23-year-old phenom. He had pitched into the 9th inning twice, and had racked up 10 strikeouts (in 6 2/3 innings) in his last outing. But nothing prepared us for what would happen on this unforgettable night.

I was lying on the floor in the living room listening to the game on the radio. Back then cable had just started to infiltrate people's homes, and many of the Red Sox games were only available on NESN (New England Sports Network). If you didn't have cable yet, then it was the 1950s all over again in your house: the family sitting around listening to the radio. That's how it was at my house that night. By game's end, my whole family was glued to the radio like never before (and I think my Dad ordered cable the next day).

Clemens struck out the side in the 1st and picked up 2 more Ks in the 2nd. It was already starting to feel like "one of those nights." But when Spike Owen singled to start the 4th, dreams of a no-hitter were gone, and folks settled in for an entertaining game, figuring that no history would be made. Strikeout records weren't in vogue at the time. No one knew that the record for strikeouts in a game was 19 since it had been set and tied (by Steve Carlton and Tom Seaver, respectively) 16 years earlier.

But by the 6th inning Fenway was rocking again, as Clemens had struck out 8 straight and had 14 in the game. It was during this stretch that Don Baylor, playing 1st base for the Sox, dropped a foul pop-up for an error. Roger struck out Gorman Thomas looking on the next pitch. Looking back on that play made you think that something special was indeed happening.

Two more Ks in the 7th and then the improbable happened: Gorman Thomas, the strikeout machine, homered to give the Mariners a 1-0 lead. Clemens had 16 strikeouts, but in typical (for the time) Red Sox fashion, it appeared that they would actually lose this game.

A 3-run home run by Dwight Evans in the bottom of the 7th put the Sox on top, and a thunderous ovation crackled through the radio as Clemens returned to the mound for the 8th. K, single, K, flyout. 18 Ks heading into the 9th and now everyone at home and at Fenway was aware that the record was 19.

The Sox' 8th inning seemed to take forever. A single, a walk, and two pitching changes later, the top of the 9th finally arrived. Spike Owen struck out. 19 Ks for Roger, tying the record. Next up was Phil Bradley, who had already struck out 3 times. Clemens got him looking for number 20. I can still hear the immortal Ken Coleman saying, "and Roger Clemens has just set the new record for strikeouts in a game" with the crowd roaring behind him. I've since seen a replay of the game and it was one of the most dominating pitching performances you'll ever see. No walks, 2 meaningless singles, the Thomas home run, and 20 Ks-many of them looking.

From that point on, every Clemens start was an event. Only 13,400 people saw the 20-strikeout game in person. By Clemens' next start, more than 25,000 were in attendance. The local radio station printed up big "K" cards that were handed out at the ball park. People tracked the strikeouts with Ks all over Fenway, and in their homes and college dorms. He had 10 in his next start. 11 after that. He improved his record to 14-0 by the end of June and all of a sudden the Red Sox were the top priority in New England again. Clemens started and won the All-Star Game. He finished the season 24-4, winning his final 7 decisions. And the Sox were off to the playoffs for the first time since 1975.

Everyone knows what happened next. The World Series disaster. The decades-old finger pointing regarding Clemens' exit from the epochal Game 6 loss. The playoff losses to Oakland in '88 and '90 (which included Clemens pitching with menacing eye black on his face and his subsequent meltdown and ejection). Clemens' infamous "We have to carry our own bags" statement. The classic photo of new manager Butch Hobson trying to talk to a headphones-wearing, uninterested Clemens in spring training of '92.

By 1996, Clemens was in the final year of a gigantic contract, and he had been overweight and underperforming for years. Then-shockingly-he struck out 20 batters for the 2nd time, in what turned out to be his final win for the Boston Red Sox.

Over the next 7 years, Clemens went on to go to Toronto even though he wanted to be closer to his family (who lived in Houston), win 3 more Cy Young awards, force a trade to the hated Yankees and win 2 World Series rings with them, and become involved in a bizarre bat-throwing incident with Mike Piazza. Mercifully for Sox fans, Clemens intended to retire following the 2003 season.

But a strange thing happened on the way to the old age home. The Houston Astros made Clemens an offer he couldn't refuse. For a mere $5,000,000 (half of his previous year's salary), the chance (finally) to play at home in Houston, and the luxury of not attending certain games and road trips when he wasn't pitching, Clemens would return for one more year. The result? Only an 18-4 record, his 7th Cy Young Award, and a start in Game 7 of the NLCS. Clemens was just 4 innings away from carrying his team into the World Series before the roof caved in. And who would he have faced in the Series? The Red Sox. How fun would that have been?

After that, we thought for sure that Roger would finally ride off into the sunset. Instead-he came back for one more year. The salary was a bit better this time ($18,000,000), and so was Clemens. In the age of steroids, hi-tech scouting, and small ballparks, a 43-year-old pitcher should not have been making these guys look that bad. But that's what Roger did.

So, you know what? I don't hate him anymore. I couldn't root against him last year. What he did was absolutely incredible. No pitcher at his age should put up the numbers that he has. I have nothing but respect for him now.

Roger came along on the Boston scene at the wrong time. The days of guys spending their careers with the same team was coming to an end in the '80s. And Roger never handled the public part of his career well. So we all ended up hating him. But the sooner we all realize that guys change teams-and it will never be the way it used to be-the better. Yes, Roger said and did some stupid things. But so what? The Sox won the World Series without him. So it sure seems like everyone made out in the end.

And now? Clemens has not ruled out returning to the big leagues for one more year, and the rumor is that the Red Sox are interested in his services. Wouldn't that be great? He could end his career with the Red Sox, have his number retired, go into the Hall of Fame wearing a Boston cap, and maybe even be part of another Red Sox World Series win. It could happen. Would everyone still hate him? Attention Red Sox fans: let it go. Start losing the hate now. It'll be easier later.

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