2006 Baseball Playoffs Preview

Another baseball season came to an end under the cover of darkness yesterday. The only way you could watch a meaningful game was if you happened to live in the right area. It was pretty disconcerting watching the FOX football games and seeing KC 41, SF 0 change to DET 7, KC 0 on the ticker. I thought the Chiefs were playing a split squad game for a minute there.

And while I'm here, I'd like to thank all of the teams involved for winning or losing the wrong amount of games and spoiling my fun. Really, bang up job. Houston-you couldn't have won one more game? Well played, everyone. Now I have to crank out a baseball playoffs preview in one day without the distraction of one game playoffs. Splendid.

Thankfully, this year's playoff match-ups appear to be pretty cut and dry. In most series, it's going to be all about whether you've angered or appeased the Baseball Gods. And it looks like the Gods are angry this year.

Yankees-Tigers

The Tigers were the darlings of the baseball world all season. Until the final three games of the season, that is. They couldn't take care of business against the 100-loss Kansas City Royals. To make matters worse, manager Jim Leyland treated yesterday's game as if it were a playoff game, pulling out all of the stops to try and win. It didn't work. They lost the game and the division, and now they must face the Yankees instead of the A's. Forget the fact the Leyland has to explain to his young team that he wasn't afraid of playing the Yankees. The Gods have declared for years that teams shouldn't worry about winning the division if they've already clinched a playoff spot. Heck, 3 of the last 4 World Series Champions have been Wild Card teams. The Gods are angry with the Tigers, the players are now scared to death of the Yankees, and Joe Torre's club is licking their chops. Yankees 3, Tigers 0

Twins-A's

By comparison, the Twins ignored the fact that they could win the division, saved sure-fire Cy Young Award winner Johan Santana for Game 1 of their series and still went out and took care of business. Now they get home field advantage and face Oakland instead of New York. There's no need to break it down any further than that. Someone in Oakland angered the Baseball Gods somewhere along the line. Even with the best team on the planet in the '80s, the A's came away with one World Series win. And they haven't won a playoff series since 1990. Twins 3, A's 1

Mets-Dodgers

Is it bad form to sign an aging, always injured pitcher and then to build your team around him? Apparently so, because that's what the Mets did and the Gods responded by allowing them to win 97 games but then they lost Pedro Martinez to a season-ending injury. Don't get me going on the Dodgers. They'll face the wrath of the Gods in the next series. Dodgers 3, Mets 2

Padres-Cardinals

Tony La Russa and company committed the Cardinal sin (no pun intended-OK, maybe a little) of taking their foot off the gas way too soon. Sure, no one expected the Astros to win 200 games in a row, but St. Louis dug it's on grave on this one. But what angered the Gods the most was La Russa's decision to hold back Cy Young Award winner Chris Carpenter from a potential must-win game on Sunday. Here was the deal: the Cardinals win, they clinch a playoff spot and get ready for their first series. They lose, and they needed the Astros to lose or face the possibility of two more days of games just to make the playoffs. You start your ace, get the win, and deal with the rotation issues later. You don't hold back your ace and hope the Astros lose (which they did). Sure, it looks like it worked out now, doesn't it? But this team has no confidence and the Gods are angry. Carpenter won't even make it out of the 4th inning tomorrow and the Cardinals will get swept. Padres 3, Cardinals 0

American League Championship Series
Yankees-Twins

The New York Yankees have not won the World Series since 2000. Since then, they have lost playoff series to the Arizona Diamondbacks, Anaheim Angels (twice), Florida Marlins, and Boston Red Sox. If you're not keeping track, that's two teams with histories that date back less than13 years, one team with a history of playoff failure, and their century-old rival with a history of complete and utter collapse in the postseason. They've twice lost the clinching game at home. You don't think the Gods have turned on the Yankees? Santana wins Games 1 and 5 of this series, the Twins take other game at home, and then Game 7 in Yankees Stadium. Twins 4, Yankees 3

National League Championship Series
Padres-Dodgers

Part One of the worst-case scenario for FOX, an all-Southern California playoff series. Here's where the ghosts of 2003 rear their ugly heads. You remember 2003, don't you? The year of the Red Sox' collapse against the Yankees? Front and center in that one was manager Grady Little. And guess who is managing LA into the playoffs this year? Yep, Grady Little. And his star hitter is none other than Nomar Garciaparra, whose deadline trade away from the Red Sox in 2003 catapulted that team into the postseason. Clubhouse cancer doesn't even begin to describe Nomar's effect on that team. The guy he was traded for instituted these little hand-slapping routines with everyone on the bench. Players were visibly happier, played better, and were one Grady Little brain freeze away from advancing to the World Series. These Dodgers might have Derek Lowe's mojo from the Boston glory days, but Grady + Nomar = disaster. This one will end tragically. I'm not sure I can even accurately script it. But it will probably involve a pitcher hitting a home run, a steal of home, a swinging miss third strike that turns into a triple, and hell freezing over. It will be a train wreck that every Red Sox fan will enjoy watching. Winning it all in 2004 will never change the way Sox fans feel about Grady and Nomar. Padres 4, Dodgers 3

World Series
Twins-Padres

I honestly believe Joe Buck and Tim McCarver will refuse to broadcast the games if this is the match-up. Or they'll try and pull some kind of silent protest. In the 3rd inning of every game they'll go an entire at bat without speaking. They'll plan on it lasting an entire inning, but they'll have a tough enough time with one batter. And the worst part is that those two minutes of silence will be the most enjoyable moments of the games. It's too bad that no one will watch this series, though. It could be entertaining. And considering that these two teams' combined payroll is less than 1/100th of the Yankees', it's good for everyone. I think. But the Gods are also angry with FOX. So not only will no one watch this series, but it will inevitably be a sweep. Twins 4, Padres 0

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