Throwing Out More Thoughts on Sports, Life, and Whatnot

Sports history if full of icons who were smarter than everyone else around them. We call them geniuses, because they're usually ahead of their time. They have unparalleled success and are talked about for decades to come. Vince Lombardi was one. Pete Rozelle was another. Bill Belichick is arguably a current example. The world lost one such icon last week: former Celtics president, general manager, and coach, Red Auerbach.

But then there are those who are born too late. Drew Bledsoe, for example. Had he been a quarterback in the '70s or early '80s, he would have been a no-doubt-about-it Hall of Famer, and he might have even won a championship or two. Instead, he's a guy who threw for a ton of yards but never had the monstrous success that was expected of him. And because of his awful decision-making, he's out of a job in Dallas. If the interception he threw before halftime of the Monday nighter against the Giants was the last pass Drew ever throws in the NFL, it's a horrible way to end a career.

Back to the Celtics for a minute. Did Sebastian Telfair really shoot Fabolous? Did Paul Pierce miss a game because of a paper cut? Do most analysts truly think Boston could be one of the worst teams in the NBA this year? This would all be funny if I were making it all up. We miss you already, Red.

We've had 7 World Series winners in 7 years. So the national media has reached the conclusion that the age of parity in baseball has finally arrived. I've even read arguments that there is more parity in baseball than in the NFL. Heaven forbid anyone let facts get in the way of a good argument. In the last 7 years, 4 baseball teams finished under .500 each year. Only 1 NFL team has made it 7 straight under .500-the Arizona Cardinals. 3 baseball teams won their division 5 or more times in the last 7 years. 0 NFL teams did that (even though the NFL now has 2 more divisions than baseball has). If this year's baseball playoffs showed us anything, it's that any team can win it all once they make the playoffs. And since the difference between the haves and the have nots is as wide as ever in baseball, there are teams with absolutely no chance, while other teams have an annual shot at the title. That's not parity, my friends.

"By the way, watch out for the Bulls next year. This is a young team on the rise. They've got a who's who of recent college studs-Ben Gordon, Kirk Hinrich, and Luol Deng-and are one solid move away from being dangerous. As a matter of fact, what the heck, I'll predict they make it to the Eastern Conference Finals next year." That's what I wrote in May in my NBA and NHL Playoff Preview. Since then, the Bulls signed Ben Wallace and beat the defending champion Heat by 42 on opening night (in Miami). Hopefully, this makes up for my ridiculously bad baseball predictions.

Can someone explain just what the heck I watched at halftime of Monday Night Football last week? A race between people in giant costumes that resembled the ESPN crew? We've come a long way since Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake, haven't we?

Speaking of the new Monday Night Football, it's not surprising that they're getting the best ratings in the history of cable television. But what was surprising was what used to be the most-watched program in cable television history: The 1993 debate on the North American Free Trade Agreement between Vice President Al Gore and billionaire and two-time presidential candidate Ross Perot. I don't even have a joke here.

Don't forget to vote on Tuesday. And if you live in Connecticut, please vote against Joe Lieberman (I explained why in my last Cleaning Out the Fridge).

As a football fan, you couldn't ask for anything better than this Sunday night's Patriots-Colts match-up. As a Patriots fan-especially after last week's throttling of the Vikings-the thought of knocking off the undefeated Colts and the undefeated Bears in the span of four weeks is off the charts.

I have to go back to the Miami Heat and their home opener. They raised their championship banner to the rafters and then got smoked by 42 points. And it wasn't even that close. We were told it was the worst opening night loss for a defending NBA champion in history, but I'd argue it was the worst first game loss for a defending champion of any sport in the history of organized competition. Perhaps it was bad karma for choosing Bruce Springsteen's The Rising as the song played during the banner raising. The Rising is an ode to those who died on September 11. Not exactly sports championship banner-raising material. What on Earth were they thinking?

After three years of eligibility, Van Halen was finally nominated for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. What was the holdup? Van Halen's first five albums and tours made them one of the most successful bands of their time. Then came the album 1984, which produced four Top 40 hits and the chart-topping Jump. Only Michael Jackson's Thriller (you've heard of that one, right?) was a bigger success that year. Their crossover from rock to pop and the brilliant use of music videos made Van Halen the most-copied band of the time. After David Lee Roth left, the band continued to have commercial success with Sammy Hagar at the helm. From 1986 to 1998, they picked up 11 #1s on Billboard Magazine's Mainstream Rock Tracks chart. And they have to wait three years to even get a nomination to the Hall of Fame? The comparable sports comparison would be if George Brett, Ozzie Smith, or Dennis Eckersley retired and didn't make the Hall of Fame in the first year of eligibility. It's a crime

In games involving two teams who are currently 4-4 or better, AFC teams are 8-3 against the NFC. It's another year in which the NFC is the JV to the AFC's varsity.

Terry Bradshaw told ESPN radio's Mike & Mike in the Morning the other day that the NFL is down in recent years because there "aren't any stars" like there were when he played. First of all, I can't understand how Terry still has a job after these comments. His comments were more offensive than Steve Lyons's comments. Second, he's completely wrong. Tiki Barber, Tom Brady, Reggie Bush, Peyton Manning, LaDainian Tomlinson, Brian Urlacher, Michael Vick-those are just a few names I came up with off the top of my head (and put in alphabetical order, of course). Third, Terry, I know you were the quarterback of 4 Super Bowl winners. No offense, though, but you weren't exactly Joe Montana or Tom Brady. Finally, Terry, any time you want to switch jobs, I'm ready. I'll watch football all day and get paid for it. And apparently I'd enjoy it more than you.