Tests! Our lives are filled with tests of one sort or another. From birth to our deathbed we are tested.

We are first tested by our parents, who teach us many good facts and survival tips by testing methods. Since most children get tired of having a red rear end, this method works quickly.

We then start the testing by peers and of course the academic testing which, at the time, seems to be the end of the world in some ways. We find out slowly but surely that it is not.

So we graduate, some of us get married and start on our path of life. Now the tests we find are the hard ones. For no longer are Professors and teachers and parents testing us. But we find that friends test us, lovers, mates, husbands, wives, bosses, co-workers, and in fact, the entire human race will test us.

But if the fates smile down upon us, if you as a human being have the wisdom to know the difference between being tested by God or being tested by humans, then a world of joy can be yours for the asking. But not always joy do we receive. In January I was told I had four months to live due to lung cancer. I knew that this would be the biggest and most important test of my life.

You see, I despise tests of all types. I can remember having typing tests for employment. I almost always did half as well as I did on a regular basis. Never failed. Oh I did okay..enough to get the job, but it irritated me that I couldn't show off my talents more. Same thing when it came to college...the only time I was relaxed when taking a test was if the heavens smiled upon me and they gave essay tests. This didn't happen very often and in some classes such as statistics and calculus it was almost impossible. So when my son asked me to have a PET scan (bone scan) and another MRI to see how my cancer was progressing, I balked. I argued. Til I became blue in the face actually. But this was my only child and in the light of his grief and determination, I gave in.

So this week I had the tests done. Not exactly comfortable tests mind you, but I locked my jaw with my own stubbornness, and made it through them.

My friends who have prayed for me allow me to tell you that your prayers have worked. No No....there is no remission..that would be a miracle..although I do believe in them. But...in FOUR months...the cancer has not moved to any other part of my body. The tumors in my brain have shrunk immensely. Since I only had 10 radiation treatments, this my friends, can only be attributed to God and the power of prayer. I look and see maybe four MORE months of living free and maybe seeing one or maybe TWO more races. This is a joyous occasion and I want y'all to be a part of it. Mostly, I wanted to say thank you.

It Still Sucks

Ready or not, here it comes! NASCAR announced yesterday that the COT would run full-time in 2008. Considering all the complaints and complications about the COT, this is a surprise and not a pleasant one.

Think about it; the COT has had the audacity to  leave a driver (Brian Vickers) suffering third degree burns to his legs and feet.

NASCAR has already been forced to replace the faulty foam padding on the side panel of the door with a steel heat shield.

I realize that the expense of keeping two totally different fleets of cars is an enormoous fixture in this decision, but aren't we losing the point of the COT with these arguments? The COT is supposed to be all about safety!

Some owners claim they've spent $3 million to $5 million on the COT for half a season's worth of racing.

So at season's end, the old car (today's car) will be put out to pasture. Way too soon in my humble opinion. Add to just being too soon, the drivers, the fans, the crew chiefs and teams despise the COT! Who can forget Kyle Busch's infamous words after winning the first COT race at Bristol nearly two months ago? One of my main arguments for this being way too soon is this:

It hasn't been tested at the biggest superspeedways and high banked tracks - such as Talladega, Daytona, Michigan, California - and yet NASCAR feels it has seen enough! But this fan feels we have seen way too little!

I AM happy that Talladega will be intoduced to the COT in October. But the testing does not always give accurate analysis of how the car will react in full traffic. So now money, instead of safety, seems to be the most important deciding factor, and teams - whether they love it or hate it, will put up with the COT from here on out. As will the fans.

So I ask you, fellow NASCAR fans, are you ready for the full-time COT?

The nicest thing about being a NASCAR fan is the fact that you know you are a part of a family. Whether you have loved the sport of stockcar racing for 4 weeks or 40 years makes no difference.

Because NASCAR has always been family. The drivers, their sons, the wives, the daughters, and the friends that would either babysit or be invited to go along is why NASCAR is what it is today. I might have just been a little girl when I started watching NASCAR but that certainly should bring me no more respect than a person who has watched for a few months.

For you see, although one might have more statistics, names and races in their heads we share the passion of being in love with racing. This DNA we have in common makes a NASCAR fan part of the family. Whether or not we cheer for the same driver, we will argue, discuss and sometimes get angry with one another but we will never turn our backs on one another.  That includes this blogosphere...so far except for one or two incidences..the NASCAR fans always try to stick together. One does not really know more than another...they might have a better memory though...lol. I will leave you with a song about NASCAR fans and hope you enjoy!

Me and the guys at work got together, had to get us up a plan

So we won't miss a race this year, Lord we're dedicated NASCAR fans.

I scored an infield pass, and we all chipped in on gas. So they voted me director of transportation.  We bought an old church bus from the auto trader, that we're gettin' ready for the ride.

We fly our favorite driver's colors and painted their numbers on the side.

We may not be first class, but when we're parked on the infield grass; we be living large as any millionaire!

Yeah, we're dedicated NASCAR fans, we make every single race we can! This beat up bus is our home away from home.

We love to hear those engines scream while we cheer our favorite teams, we're rooftop, chaise lounge dedicated NASCAR fans!

In victory or defeat! Hey we'll all be back next week! Hey y'all we're true blue dedicated NASCAR fans!

Dale Earnhardt Jr. made the announcement today at a press conference held at 11am est., that, indeed, at the end of the 2007 season, he would be leaving DEI.

Although most racing fans think that Jr. wanted the power and money that goes with 51% of DEI, this is not true. Out of Jr.'s own mouth we have his words...some just refuse to listen.

"There are some things that can't be bought with money"...this was said by Jr. this morning while being questioned by reporters. "I don't want to ever have to do this again. I want to drive, to win, and win championships. The only person who couldv'e made DEI work was the one who's dream it was...my father's. And he's not here to make that dream come true. He had a vision and only he can bring that vision to reality."

Jr. said his relationship with DEI was a unique one, and in this he was correct. He certainly isn't the first son of a son of a racer, but he is the most famous, most popular, and has had one hell of a burden on his shoulders since his father died.

He certainly knows what he is doing though...and I think it is the best thing for him if not the best thing for DEI. Dale Jr. said, "I'm disappointed so I expect my fans to be disappointed. We'll continue to support DEI...I'm just taking my job as a racecar diver somewhere else.It is important for me that DEI remain successful and to keep my father's legacy alive."

Theresa, on the other hand, had this to say, "While we are very disappointed that Dale Jr. has chosen to leave the family business, we remain excited about our company's future. This company has continued to thrive since Dale left us in 2001, and it will thrive following today's announcement. This company has a great legacy and a bright future, built on loyalty, integrity, and commitment."

And that loyalty, integrity, and commitment my dear, are walking right out the door. Someone, probably a lot of people, are in denial....but it's not Dale Earnhardt Jr.

I will not go gently into the night. A favorite poem of mine, and after watching the race on Sunday, I realized that I felt that way about life and always had. Then tonight, I found another poem I liked real well and hope you do too. It is written by Melinda Sue Pacho and goes like this:

I Did Not Die

Do not stand at my grave and forever weep. I am not there; I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow. I am the diamond glints on snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain. I am the gentle autumn's rain.

When you awaken in the morning's hush I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circled flight. I am the soft stars that shine at night.

Do not stand at my grave and forever cry. I am not there. I did not die.