What a great day for baseball fans!  Every team and player barometer is set to zero, and everyone is contender.  Well, except for the Pirates and Royals...two teams that might struggle in your average co-ed church softball league.

Every year, Opening Day becomes the Realm of Ridiculous.  Fans begin to make premature conclusions based on this single game...which represents less than 1% of this season's baseball action.

Pick Up the Pace

Whatever you do, please don't make stat projections based purely on Opening Day results...

David Eckstein is on pace for 125 RBI's - I'm going to wait a little longer before handing him the MVP award.  Although, if he can maintain his .750 batting average...

Kerry Wood is on pace for 162 games on the disabled list - OK, maybe some Opening Day projections are accurate.

Brian "got knocked on my ass and hurt" McCann hit the first home run of the season - Well, he may not hit 100 home runs...but expect a great season from the Braves' catcher.

Carl Crawford is fast - With such superior stealing ability, will politics be in his future?

Cy Young contenders Carlos Zambrano and Chris Carpenter had shaky outings - Zambrano will be OK, unless he starts getting advice from Kerry Wood or Mark Prior.  Carpenter will still win 16 games or more, and his biggest worry this year will be finding pants to fit his 6'6" frame.

Double Your Fun

Almost every year, some Mr. Mediocre player will hit 2 home runs on Opening Day...and fans will quickly jump on the bandwagon.  This is usually a Shannon Stewart or Dmitri Young type of player.  Who will it be this year?

Sneak Peek

My American League surprise team has to be the Cleveland Indians.  Right now, they are smashing Jose Contreras and the Chicago White Sox.  If nothing else, the Indians should be an exciting team to watch.  The AL Central will probably be the toughest division in baseball...and the Indians should turn many heads this year.  My sleeper pick for the AL MVP, Grady Sizemore, is already off to a quick start.

The Boo Birds Singing Early

I don't want to generalize, but I'm already severely disappointed with Yankee fans.  A-Rod has received some opening day boos, especially after committing a defensive error on a misjudged pop fly in foul territory.  If a Pirates player hits 35 HR and 121 RBI's, he might be elected the mayor of Pittsburgh.  But apparently that isn't enough for New York fans.  Just one more reason to despise the "Evil Empire".

The Soothsayer Rides Again

Now that I've criticized early season projections, it's time to give my own predictions:

NL East Winner - Philadelphia Phillies
NL Central Winner - St. Louis Cardinals
NL West Winner - Arizona Diamondbacks
NL Wildcard - NY Mets (does anybody still believe?)
AL East Winner - Boston Red Sox
AL Central Winner - Cleveland Indians (call me crazy)
AL West Winner - Some City in California Angels
AL Wildcard - Detroit Tigers

NL MVP - Albert Pujols (can't bring myself to pick a surprise as long as he's playing)
NL Cy Young - Brandon Webb (doesn't need big strikeout numbers to be dominant)
AL MVP - Grady Sizemore (because predicting one of the other favorites is boring)
AL Cy Young - Johan Santana (nobody else is in his class)

The "I thought you were toast" award - Oliver Perez, NY Mets (I have no logical reason to believe he'll provide any value for the Mets)
The "I can't believe he's not better" award - Delmon Young, Tampa Bay Devil Rays
The "Money isn't everything" award - Roger Clemens, somewhere (won't be the positive impact that people expect)
The "Unsung hero" award - Eric Byrnes, Arizona Diamondbacks
The "Billy Martin, angry manager" award - John Gibbons, Toronto Blue Jays
The "Kerry Wood, I should look for another job" award - Eric Gagne, Texas Rangers
Surprise pitcher award - Daniel Cabrera, Baltimore Orioles
Surprise hitter award - Ian Kinsler, Texas Rangers

So there you have it...here's hoping for a great season!  Enjoy...

The final days of spring...

Spring training is officially over, and the regular season is upon us.  An improved Pittsburgh Pirates squad will begin their 2007 journey tomorrow at Houston, hoping to turn things around after a disastrous year.

It probably isn't what the fans want to hear, but this season figures to be more of the same for the Pirates...rebuilding.  Spring training meant mixed results for the troubled franchise, and several questions have yet to be answered.

Scary Stuff

Though statistics don't have much merit in March, a closer look at the at spring numbers can provide a glimpse of the upcoming season.  For some of the Pirates, it may be time to hit the panic button.

Chris Duffy, CF & projected leadoff hitter - If anyone needed to have a strong showing this spring, it was Duffy.  The speedy outfielder was impressive in his rookie season, carrying a .341 batting average in 39 games.  His quick start earned him an everyday spot in the lineup as the leadoff hitter.  But things got ugly in 2006, as Duffy struggled mightily.  At one point, he was demoted to the minors...and it appeared that he might not make it back.

Duffy played fairly well in the second half of last season, but has been awful this spring.  His batting average has dipped below .200, and the Pirates desperately need a consistent table-setter at the top of the lineup.  With last year's batting champ Freddy Sanchez starting the season on the disabled list, Pittsburgh will need Duffy to produce early.  If he doesn't get off to a quick start, expect manager Jim Tracy to look for other options in centerfield.

Jose Bautista, 3B - After infielder Jose Castillo landed in Jim Tracy's doghouse, Freddy Sanchez was moved to 2nd base to allow Bautista to become the starting 3rd baseman.  But of all the projected starters, Jose Bautista struggled the most this spring.  With a .182 batting average and no home runs, it appears that his everyday role is still up in the air.  For the time being, Jose Castillo will be starting for the injured Freddy Sanchez at 2nd...and unless Bautista turns it around in a hurry, he may be headed for the bench again.

Think Positive

It isn't all bad news in Pirates camp.  Other than Freddy Sanchez (DL), most of the starting position players are ready to go.

Adam LaRoche, 1B - There are high hopes for the newly-acquired slugger, and so far...so good.  He hit just below .300 for the month of March, and also added half a dozen extra-base hits in 54 at-bats.  To say that the Pirates need his left-handed bat is more than an understatement.

Jack Wilson, SS - After slimming down a bit to focus on speed and defensive range, Wilson appears much more comfortable at the plate.  Don't expect much in the power department, but by hitting .321 this spring...he looks more like the player that collected 200 hits in 2004.

Ronny Paulino, C - Following a stellar rookie campaign, Paulino has been the hottest hitter in camp.  He has shown flashes of power by belting 4 home runs, and is hitting an unbelievable .481 this spring.

All Dressed Up, and No Place To Go

The Spring Surprise has to be hefty slugger Brad Eldred.  The 275 pound 1st baseman was the odd man out after the Pirates landed Adam LaRoche, but Eldred has been too good to leave off the roster.  With 6 home runs and a .303 batting average, his potential may have Jim Tracy rethinking the lineup.  They have already experimented with Eldred in right field, and he could earn some serious playing time if either Duffy or Nady begin to falter.

Pitch Hunt

If the Pirates have any chance of staying out of the NL Central cellar, the pitching staff must exceed expectations.  The inexperienced staff still has a lot to prove, and things aren't looking too promising.

Zach Duke, SP - The opening day starter hasn't been the same since Jim Tracy decided to tinker with his delivery prior to the 2006 season.  The pinpoint accuracy he displayed during his rookie season is nowhere to be found, and he has been rocked harder than Paris Hilton on a routine Friday night.  The good news is that he is still young, and has time to develop.  Only time will tell if Duke can emerge as the staff ace he once appeared to be.

Tom Gorzellany, SP - Here is another young lefty with solid potential.  Gorzellany had perhaps the oddest spring stat-line, averaging close to one strikeout per inning...and a 7.96 ERA.

Ian Snell, SP - If there is such a thing as a "back-up ace", then Snell is it.  He is one of the few Pittsburgh pitchers that looked sharp this spring, with solid strikeout totals and a 3.00 ERA.

The Bullpen - One of the reasons that the Pirates were willing to pull the trigger on the Mike Gonzalez trade was the depth of their bullpen.  However, if spring is any indication...there could be some serious late-inning trouble all year long.  Salomon Torres was penciled in to take over the closer duties, but a terrible spring may have Tracy looking elsewhere.

Bringing It All Together

Though there were some good signs, it figures to be another long year of rebuilding in Pittsburgh.  Offensively, the combination of Bay, LaRoche, and Sanchez should add a few more wins...but that won't happen unless the pitching staff comes together.  The best the team can hope for is to hold on to their building blocks...and wait another year or two.

What makes a sports hero?  Well, we could (and will) argue that topic until the next Ice Age...but we probably couldn't come up with a definition that pleases everyone.  I've listened to endless debates on just about every sport, and one thing has become abundantly clear to me...

We only want a certain type of hero...

Thanks to the growing trend in sports media, fans have become more difficult to please than Rosie O'Donnell at a Health Food Restaurant.  The media shapes and molds our opinions for us with faulty information...so we believe what "they" want us to.

If an athlete comes off as smug and conceited, the media has a choice.  They could run with it, and drive us to hate.  Or they could let it slide...if tarnishing a "hero" won't generate enough media attention.

So after listening to all the discussion and debate...I've come up with a couple of job descriptions for us - the demanding fans.

Job Title:  NBA MVP
Reports To:  Basketball Fans, David Stern, and Shoe Company Executives
Qualifications:  
     - College degree preferred, but definitely not required.
     - High School diploma required, but don't sweat it...we'll help.
     - Extreme talent must be displayed for a period of one year, but this may be done at any level...collegiate, high school, or middle school.
Job Responsibilities:
     - Must be able to score at a Paris Hilton-like rate.
     - Should be able to play capable defense, but this may be replaced with other duties when convenient.
     - Must be a marketable entity, ideally...well-behaved enough to stay off the weekly police blotter, but still bad enough to generate fan interest.
    - Must provide the illusion that you are a "good teammate".  If you make negative comments to the media, make sure that you are referring to former teammates or coaches only.
    - Your NBA replica jersey must be among the top 10 sellers in the country.
Physical Requirements:
    - Must be 5-8 feet tall.
    - Must be able to run up and down the court several times a game, or at least loaf faster than the average bear.

Job Title:  MLB Home Run Record Owner (Single-season & All-Time Openings Available)
Reports To:  The Court of Public Opinion, U.S. Congress, and anyone else you can think of
Qualifications:
     - No degree or education required.
     - Ability to attack a fastball like Rosie O'Donnell handles a lunch buffet.
     - If you played during the infamous "Steroid Era", or display the slightest bit of physical strength...you must first pass the media test.
Job Responsibilities:
     - Must project positive attitude towards media and fans at all times.
     - Must sign autographs at any time or place whenever deemed necessary by overzealous fans.
     - Must address media in a positive manner when asked about your pursuit of the home run record before each and every game (162, to be exact).
     - Must have a viable excuse when questioned about illegal performance enhancers.  Your excuse need not be water-tight, or be supported by any actual evidence...as long as the public is willing to buy it.
     - If there is strong evidence of anything that could remotely be considered "cheating" (steroids, corked bat, Flomax, Viagra), you must issue an indirect public apology that places some of the blame on someone else.  Half-hearted apologies will be accepted.
     - Oh, and in addition to all the above responsibilities...you must hit lots and lots of home runs.  Just make sure not to hit them TOO far, or people will think you are using illegal performance enhancers.  But make sure you don't hit them too short either, or people will say that you couldn't get it over the fence without illegal performance enhancers.
Physical Requirements:
     - Not too big, not too small...             

Job Title:  Female Tennis Star
Reports To:  Mainly red-blooded males, but a few others
Qualifications:
     - Hot Body.
     - Marketable Mug.
Job Responsibilities:
     - Show off hot body, and display marketable mug.
     - Excessive grunting and moaning preferred.
     - Racket swinging required...at least for a while.
Physical Requirements:
     - See "Qualifications" section of job description.

Job Title:  NFL Starting Quarterback
Reports To:  Every armchair quarterback in the world
Qualifications:
     - Extraordinary passing ability OR running ability.
     - Ability to spell your name correctly on a Wonderlic Test.
     - Mediocre acting abilities fit for 30-second commercials a huge plus.
     - Ability to impregnate multiple supermodels in a short period of time is preferred, and definitely not frowned upon.
Job Repsonsibilities:
     - Must win at least one Super Bowl.  However, this should be achieved only if the public agrees that you are the reason your team won the championship.  If this is not the case, wait at least one more year and try again.
     - Get in the good graces of John Madden.
     - Must win a Super Bowl quickly enough in your career that fans don't begin to turn on you.
     - Must not win a Super Bowl too quickly, or you will be subject to constant criticism for the remainder of your career.
Physical Requirements:
     - Must be able to withstand a weekly pounding by oversized NFL players, just like Paris Hilton.
     - Heavy lifting is a necessity, as you must provide the illusion that you can carry an entire roster of NFL players on your back for an entire 16 game season.

To apply for any of these positions, simply bring your "A" game to the playing field on a regular basis...and make sure that it's on television.

Here are a few quotes heard around the Spring Training camps as Opening Day approaches.  For the second straight year, I was lucky enough to hear some of the major leaguers spouting off about the upcoming season.  OK, maybe I didn't actually hear any of these.  They could have said these things...but of course, they probably didn't.

But fiction can be fun - here we go!

Chattin' by the Cactus
Bartolo "I don't normally shower, so I wear a lot of" Colon (SP, Angels):  "Holy cow, am I fat!  Maybe the David Wells Guide to Training video was a bad idea."
John "I don't even make enough money to afford a" Lackey (SP, Angels):  "Bartolo looks hungry, sweet mercy I hope he doesn't eat me."

Robby "I'll just be snoozing on the" Hammock (C, D-Backs):  "But it's a dry heat." 
Eric "when I pee, it sure does" Byrnes (OF, D-Backs):  "What the hell is a dry heat?"

Jermaine "A-Rod is so dreamy, I could just" Dye (OF, White Sox):  "A-Rod doesn't play here in the Cactus League?  Crap!"

Gil "how did my career end up in such a" Meche (SP, Royals):  "They didn't tell me that I had to earn this $55 million.  Are they crazy?  Haven't they seen me pitch before?  Oh well, more hookers and crack rocks for me." 
David "throwing my fastball sure is" Riske (RP, Royals):  "Great googily moogily, if I can't stand out with this bunch of Royal retards...then I better start looking for another job."

Dave "why in the hell did I vote for" Bush (SP, Brewers):  "I wish we played in Arizona all year...I can't stand the smell of cheese."
Matt "pursuing another career would have been" Wise (RP, Brewers):  "I can't wait to get back to Milwaukee...I love the smell of cheese in the morning."

Steve "career is definitely on the D" Kline (RP, Giants):  "I told you reporters for the last time, I don't know what Barry Bonds keeps in his locker."
Randy "the goodies in Mark Sweeney's locker will help you" Winn (OF, Giants):  (singing softly) - "Some times I dream, that he is me...like Barry, if I could be like Barry."

Gabbin' by the Grapefruit
Hayden "I'm never going to make it out of the bull" Penn (SP, Orioles):  "Hey, can someone keep an eye out for Kris while I go give Anna Benson the high hard one?"
Paul "can I borrow some of your chewing 2" Bako (C, Orioles):  "Sorry, Hayden...she's on the disabled list nursing a wrist injury."

Josh "my rookie card is now worth 2 cents according to" Beckett (SP, Red Sox):  "Maybe if I fake an injury, these Beantown fans will quit pissing in my new convertible."
Wily "won't play no" Mo Pena (OF, Red Sox):  "Ha, ha!  I wonder who this convertible belongs to.  Loser..."

Miguel "my favorite kind of syrup is" Cairo (2B, Yankees):  "I can't wait for A-Rod to get out of here.  And why did he demand that they put full-length mirrors in the showers?"
Andy "when I'm alone in the bullpen, I like to" Pettitte (SP, Yankees):  "Hey coach, is it time to hit the showers yet?"

Roy "every couple of weeks, my arm needs to take a" Halladay (SP, Blue Jays):  "I hope nobody notices that I gained 30 pounds in the off-season from drinking Molson and eating jelly doughnuts."

Grady "I hope these pills will increase my" Sizemore (OF, Indians):  "Let's see, it says side effects include - dizziness, temporary blindness, swelling in the groin area, abnormal ejaculation, insomnia, anal leakage, and increased obsession for Justin Timberlake videos.  So what's the down side?"
Josh "the smoggy air in Cleveland makes me want to" Barfield (2B, Indians):  "Why is Grady looking at me that way?"

Carlos "I like gold chains better than" Silva (SP, Twins):  "Johan, Johan...yes, I know he's good...but what about me?  Don't let the near 6.00 ERA fool ya, I'm primetime baby!"
Lew "just bought a house I can't a" Ford (OF, Twins):  "I wish that Torii would just leave already.  Man, I hate that son of a...oh, uh...hey, Torii.  How's it going?  You're doing a great job out there.  You da man!"
Torii "cried after watching the Deer" Hunter (OF, Twins):  "Man, I can't wait to get out of here."

Tim "when I pitch in New York, they hit my fastball in the" Hudson (SP, Braves):  "Hey, Chipper...is there any room left in the hot tub?  What?!  Hampton has been in there for over an hour!  This is getting ridiculous..."

Josh "a horny pig is always looking for a" Willingham (C/OF, Marlins):  "What's a guy gotta do to get paid?"
Dan "if I don't get a better contract, things could get" Uggla (2B, Marlins):  "What's a guy gotta do to get paid?"
Matt "maybe I should hire a BALCO" Treanor (C, Marlins):  "You mean they are going to pay me to play?"

David "Minaya still can't get it" Wright (3B, Mets):  "How many home runs do I have to hit in order to score Derek Jeter-caliber of women?"
Shawn "my shoddy production makes the fan's faces turn" Green (OF, Mets):  "What do you mean there is no more room on the DL?  That's how I make my living!"

Adam "the waitress took my plate before I was done" Eaton (SP, Phillies):  "Sure, I'll go to the bullpen and be happy.  Nope, don't mind being snubbed in favor of Jon Lieber.  Nope, not one bit."
Jon "No way in hell I'll make it as a middle re-" Lieber (SP, Phillies):  "Eh, the bullpen won't be so bad.  I hear they keep the mini-fridge stocked with Hot Pockets.  Mmmm, Hot Pockets..."

Adam "can't wait until my time in Cincy is" Dunn (OF/1B, Reds):  "Playoffs?  Don't talk about...playoffs?  Playoffs?"

Brad "doesn't that just make you want to jump off a" Lidge (RP, Astros):  "I like the funny sound the choo-choo train makes after a home run."
Jason "career isn't exactly in the fast" Lane (OF, Astros):  "Choo choo!  Choo Choo!"

Paul "need a better contract to pay for" Maholm (SP, Pirates):  "Ha, ha, ha, ha...Zach Duke is our opening day starter?  Ha, ha, ha..."

Derek "self-esteem has hit an all-time" Lowe (SP, Dodgers):  "How Lowe can you go, baby...how Lowe can you go?  How Lowe can you...oh, uh...excuse me.  No, I wasn't singing in the shower.  Must have been that bird outside or something.  I'll be out in a minute."

The first round loss against Texas left this New Mexico State fan feeling bitter.  But also very proud...

Nobody gave the NMSU Aggies a chance against Kevin Durant and the Longhorns.  And if I would have known the officiating would have been so lopsided and inconsistent, then I wouldn't have either.

But even with everything against them, the Aggies put up one hell of a fight.

The Aggies led most of the first half, but Texas bounced back to earn a 3 point lead by halftime.  Kevin Durant and D.J. Augustin were heating up, and the stage was set for a battle to the end.

But when the second half rolled around, things got a little strange.

For the bulk of the fast-paced first half, the officials let the teams play physically...calling very few fouls.  But in the second half, it was a much different story.  By the end of the game, Kevin Durant was awarded more free-throw attempts than the entire Aggies team (the same Aggies team that led the NATION in free-throw attempts).  Many of those fouls were called with little or no contact - the complete opposite of the first half.

And I wasn't the only one that noticed.  During a key run by the Longhorns, Reggie Theus became agitated with the officials.  He called a timeout to give them an earful, which quickly earned him a technical foul.

After the 5-point swing of Theus' technical, the Aggies responded just as he planned.  They quickly erased a 14-point deficit, sparked by the hot hand of Elijah Ingram.

But the Aggies' hopes were essentially crushed with a little less than 2 minutes left in the game.  On a key possession for NMSU, forward Tyrone Nelson was isolated against Kevin Durant.  Nelson dribbled around to the left, and Durant attempted to block his path.  With one foot still in the air and not planted, Durant initiated contact and drew an inexplicable offensive foul call...which sealed the deal for Texas.

Beyond the Game

I could rant on and on about the officiating of this game...but I'm not going to.  Anyone that watched the game probably saw the same thing that I did.  Yes, Kevin Durant is probably the best player in college.  But he received Michael Jordan treatment from the officiating crew.

I could rant about the tournament seeding...and how a #13 seed should be an insult to a team that consistently received top 25 votes throughout the season.  Am I delusional to think the WAC gets no credit?  I don't think so.  Consider that Nevada went into the last week of the season as the 10th ranked team in the country, but was slapped with a #7 seed for the tournament.

Plenty to rant about?  Maybe.  But there are more important things to say.

Like "thank you"...

Reggie Theus didn't take long to work his magic with this troubled program.  Just 2 years ago, NMSU finished the season with a pitiful 6-24 record.  With a new philosophy and a collection of transfers, Theus transformed this team into something special.

In just 2 seasons of work, Theus created a team that is easy to admire.  First and foremost, this team embraces a hard-nosed defensive philosophy.  The full court pressure and aggressive zone defense creates a perfect foundation for a group of athletic hustle players.

So I say thanks to Reggie Theus and all those NMSU players who gave everything they had.  I enjoyed every single minute of it.