About this time last year, I was up to my eyeballs in the "Next Great Sportswriter" Contest.  What seemed like a simple concept turned into one giant ball of stress, as I struggled to find my cowbell.

A little while after I was sent packing faster than an ugly fat chick singing a Britney Spears tune on American Idol...I received a gift.  A friend sent me an actual cowbell!  Sometimes I just have to sit and stare at it to remind myself why I enjoy blogging.

And for those of you that aren't following the concept of cowbell...sorry, I can't help you. 

Writing is supposed to be fun.  And it is.  Aside from sneaking into an aerobics class for super-models, it really is the least expensive form of entertainment you could ever ask for.

During the stress of last year's contest, I managed to belt out a couple of posts that were exceptionally fun for me.  One in particular got the ball rolling, and I had a blast with it.  It was my induction into the fictitious "National Sarcasm Society".

The irony is I wrote that post as somewhat of a concession speech.  The NGS finalists had not been announced, and with very little time left before the deadline...I figured if I hadn't earned 1 of the 16 spots, that it was probably too late.  After writing it, I debated on whether or not to post it...then ultimately decided - eh, what the hell?

This year, the summer looks a little different.  My only stress comes from watching my Utah Jazz try to make their way to the NBA Finals.  And I can't even call that stressful, because I've enjoyed every minute of their playoff run.

But nevertheless, I wanted to get back to fun...which for me, usually means reverting to my smart-ass sarcastic nature.

So here is a long overdue assignment...call it paying my Sarcasm Society membership dues:

With everyone focused on Barry Bonds surpassing Hank Aaron's Home Run record, I went down to Vegas to place my sleeper bet.  They offered really good odds...as Cinderella Craig Counsell currently stands just 724 home runs shy of baseball immortality.  Come on, Craiger...you can do it buddy!  Shooter needs a new pair of shoes!

The NFL Pre-Season hasn't even started, and the New England Patriots are already the consensus favorite to win a Super Bowl.  Be still my constantly quivering heart!

Poor Ricky Williams.  Why can't they just give this guy a break?  After all, he is a dedicated vegetarian.  In fact, he's so dedicated to his dietetic regimen...that he's fallen in love with one particular plant.  Is there such a thing as a Cannabistarian?

Spiderman 3 broke opening day box office records by raking in about $59 million in ticket sales.  And let me tell you from experience, this movie has it all.  Kirsten Dunst singing on stage, a Tobey Maguire makeover montage, and a green-sweater wearing villain that transforms into sand.  Who says a K.D. Lang look-a-like can't be cool?

When playing a normal pick-up basketball game, how many times do you see a defender knocked down because of contact from a post move?  Good thing these NBA players train all year to become strong athletic machines.

Hockey players can hit opponents regularly with an over-sized stick, but basketball players that commit hard fouls are considered "dirty".  Yep, that sounds about right.

Just for one game, don't you think it would be something if they allowed NBA players to use hockey sticks?

With Bud Selig "looking into" all the steroid issues of the past, how does he have time to do his job...in the present? 

Someone was charged for stalking actress Sandra Bullock.  Sandra Bullock, are you kidding me?  What's next, is someone going to use a date-rape drug on Rosie O'Donnell?

To save his presidency, George W. is putting the focus back on education.  To learn more about this stunning development, read his latest essay titled - "Dyslexia for Cure Found".  (sorry, that's a cheap obscure ripoff from a Naked Gun movie...but I had to add it somewhere)

CHASING AARON:  Craig Counsell still 724 home runs shy of Hank Aaron's record.

Another NFL Draft has passed, and the Lions have yet another wide receiver.  Somewhere, Matt Millen must be trying to eat a 5-gallon tub of Jello pudding with chopsticks.

I think Brett Favre is my new hero.  Only in America can you perform your job that poorly, and still hold your employer hostage.  I believe not only that Brett Favre should be traded to a contender, but George W. should be the new Prime Minister of Canada.

If everything is bigger and better in Texas, somebody please explain the Houston Texans.

Why doesn't Alaska have a professional sports franchise?  I think the Nome Gnomes has a nice ring to it.

I have to admit, at first, I was a little angry about the ban on internet gambling.  But after I pondered a while, I decided it was for the best.  After all, we don't want people wasting their hard-earned money online.  Oooh, look...my bid on Ebay for a talking Prison Edition Paris Hilton doll went through!  Gotta go...

With Utah taking a 3-1 series lead, the Warriors are facing elimination for the first time in the post-season.  As things heat up, here are a few reasons to watch tonight's match-up:

Game 5 - Golden State Warriors vs. Utah Jazz, 10:30 ET

10)  Just in case Mehmet Okur and Jason Richardson decide to continue their spat, and start throwing hooks.  However, keep in mind...if this happens while you are watching, your cable bill will automatically be charged $59.95

9)  If either teams gets a big lead, Don Nelson may crack open a cold one before the 4th quarter.

8)  There will likely be a David Blaine NBA Playoffs commercial where you can hear him talk just like Forrest Gump.  Do you think perhaps he stayed in that underwater tank just a little too long?

7)  This game may cause "We Believe" T-shirts to go on sale for 50 cents each.

6)  Baron Davis may try one of those spectacular dunks again, because nobody got a good poster-worthy camera shot the first time.

5)  If Andris Biedrins gets to the free throw line, this may be your only opportunity to see a shooting technique worse than Shaquille O'Neal.

4)  You can watch Baron Davis initiate more contact than Paris Hilton's pimp.

3)  Because Bruce Bowen and Robert Horry won't be playing in this one.

2)  This may be your last chance to watch the fast-paced Warriors play until next season...or at least until the Alcatraz Intramural Summer League starts.

1)  But most of all, because Stephen Jackson is one bad call away from a monumental meltdown.

Hey Warriors, Miami called...and they're all out of ink!

Here's my in-depth analysis of why the Jazz won Game 2:

I would add more, but this one I have to keep just for me...

Game 3 on Friday

Game 1 of the Warriors/Jazz series is in the books, so I decided to give a few quick thoughts about the series opener...and what else to expect from this intriguing playoff match-up.

Monday Night Results - Utah Jazz 116, Golden State Warriors 112

One Crazy Game

Tempo:  The Warriors clearly set the tempo they wanted in this game, but ended up losing anyway.  The Jazz managed to keep up with Golden State's frantic pace somehow, even though that isn't the strategy that Jerry Sloan had intended.  Utah picked up the "W", despite being kicked out of their comfort zone.  The "Execution Offense" was caught off-guard by Golden State's zone defense, which led to 23 three-point attempts by Utah...a team that usually averages about 12 per game.

Deron Williams was goaded into the fast-paced tempo in the first half, but seemed to adjust nicely in the 2nd.  He led the team in scoring with 31 points, but also committed 6 turnovers.  Considering the speed and quickness on the other side of the ball, that isn't too bad for the 2nd year point guard...who is making his first appearance in the playoffs.

Rebounding:  The saving grace for Utah was their dominance on the boards.  The zone defense seemed to take power forward Carlos Boozer out of the offensive flow, but he found other ways to score by pulling down 10 offensive rebounds.  Okur, Kirilenko, and Harpring were also active on the glass...a theme they will need to continue in this series.

Danger Zone:  Even after Utah slowed the pace a bit in the 2nd half, they really didn't find the answer to the zone defense.  Perimeter players were indecisive when passing the ball into Boozer, as defenders swarmed him from all angles.  Jerry Sloan won't necessarily have to deviate from his normal offense, but some adjustments must me made.  Off-the-ball cuts can still work, but only if they can find open spaces and pass quickly.

Stopping the Madness:  As expected, Utah had trouble defending against Golden State's quickness.  The Warriors were eager to launch from trey-land, but also had success driving to the basket.  The Jazz got back in transition for the most part, but still had their share of defensive lapses.  Most notably, Gordan Giricek was slow getting back...which gave Golden State a few easy buckets.

The Rest of the Story

The remainder of the series figures to be every bit as exciting as Game 1.  These teams match-up about as evenly as Rosie O'Donnell and a low-calorie rice cake.  But their differences are countered by a common intensity and hustle.

Golden State played their best game in the series opener.  The tempo was right, and the Warriors received huge contributions from unsung heroes like Matt Barnes and Al Harrington.  Consider that Harrington scored 21 points in only 27 minutes of play, and Barnes exploded for an unexpected 20 points on 8-15 shooting.  As a team, the Warriors shot 38%(12-31) from 3-PT range...numbers that would ordinarily give them a win.

Utah, on the other hand, didn't play their best game...and should be expected to improve.  Primarily, they need to find a way to get more open looks inside the 3-point arc...and get Carlos Boozer into a comfortable scoring rhythm.  The Jazz also need to win the turnover battle...something they failed to do in Game 1.

Derek Fisher's absence was also a factor, especially on the defensive end.  Without his veteran presence, Jerry Sloan was forced to use inexperienced players like Dee Brown and Ronnie Brewer.  Even though Brown gave a solid contribution, Fisher's experience was sorely missed.

From purely a fan's perspective, this was one of the most entertaining games I've ever seen.  It definitely wasn't a style of basketball commonly seen at the NBA level.  As the series rolls on, look for the same type of relentless battle to continue in each game.  I may have to stock up on some extra caffeine, because this one is liable to be exhausting...

Let the good times roll...

"And you may ask yourself...well, how did I get here?"
- Talking Heads

When the Utah/Golden State series tips off Monday night, it will indeed be a Once In A Lifetime event.  Two teams that weren't expected to advance beyond the first round will square off in an unlikely Western Conference Semi-Final showdown.

Two underdogs...and two vastly different journeys.  The 8th seeded Golden State Warriors needed only 6 games to dispose of the Dallas Mavericks, a series that is being dubbed as one of the biggest playoff upsets in NBA history.  On the other side of the coin, the Utah Jazz didn't clinch their opening round series until the final seconds of a wild 7th game in Houston.    

At this point, regular season records mean very little...as both teams roll on to the next round with momentum and confidence.  Let the games begin...

Splitting Headache

Many folks are talking about the Utah/Golden State season series split (2-2), as if it provides an indicator of how evenly matched these two teams are.  While it could end up being a tough series, here are a few reasons why the regular season is virtually irrelevant in this case:

This isn't the same Golden State team...literally - The first two regular season match-ups between these teams occurred back in November, long before the Warriors had made their blockbuster trade with the Pacers.  Most notably, the presence of Stephen Jackson and Al Harrington were missing.

This isn't the same Utah team either - OK, the personnel is still the same...but Utah struggled mightily during the last few weeks of the season.  Only now are we beginning to see the same dominant team that began the season with an astounding 12-1 record.  This is the first year that Jerry Sloan's rebuilt Jazz squad earned a playoff spot, and in just their first post-season series...we saw his group mature before our very eyes.

This is the Playoffs, people! - If the playoffs were determined by regular season records...well, neither of these teams would be here.  'Nuff said...

Common Ground

Other than their underdog status, these two teams don't have a lot in common.  The up-tempo Warriors take nearly twice as many 3-pointers as Utah, a team that prefers to work the half-court set for open looks.  While Golden State has plenty of slashing perimeter players, Utah relies more on quick passing and off-the-ball cuts to get their scoring.  In terms of style, you really couldn't ask for a more contrasting match-up.

Where are my Damn Keys?

Here is my look at the key factors for each team:

Utah

Same Ole' Song and Dance - In the first round series against Houston, the Jazz remained relatively consistent in their approach.  Offensively, they utilized a heavy dose of pick-and-rolls...which should be no surprise.  Execution has always been the key ingredient for Sloan's offense, and this young group of players is more disciplined that you would expect.  Instead of relying on one-on-one playmakers, Utah depends on crisp passing and motion away from the ball.  Carlos Boozer and Deron Williams are capable of creating their own shots, but both seem to do so within the flow of the offense.

Watch out for Snipers - Even though Utah plays a hard-nosed brand of defense, they have some areas of concern.  Primarily, they have had trouble defending against the 3-point shot.  The good news is, the Houston series should give them a good glimpse of what they will see against Golden State.  How Utah defends Golden State's ball-handlers will be absolutely crucial to the outcome of this series.  If they can hinder Baron Davis even a little bit from penetrating and dishing to open long-range shooters...it would be a huge bonus.

Golden State       

Is there a doctor in the house? - Baron Davis isn't 100% healthy, which makes his first-round playoff performance even that more impressive.  At this point, his injuries aren't enough to keep him out of the lineup...but they have been nagging at Baron for a while.  It's a tough situation for head coach Don Nelson.  The Warriors absolutely need Baron Davis to be on the floor, but they also need to keep him healthy and rested.  One thing is for sure, Baron is definitely on the right team...because he can be absolute warrior.  And if his team hopes to advance any further...he will have to be.

This team could self-destruct in 30 seconds - When Stephen Jackson was traded to Golden State, he was shipped with a warning label on his forehead that says "Highly Explosive".  Granted, he doesn't necessarily need to be Captain Cool all the time in order to win, but for Golden State...Jackson must keep it together in this series.  Anyone that has followed his career knows that there are two sides to Stephen Jackson - effective...and destructive.  Jackson will probably receive a lot of different defensive looks...just like Utah gave McGrady in the first round.  The combination of Andrei Kirilenko, Derek Fisher, and Gordan Giricek is likely to frustrate Jackson at times...and he will need to keep an even keel in order to help his team.

The Difference

There will be lot of themes to watch in this one...but here is a couple that could make the difference:

All Eyes on Carlos Boozer - Houston didn't have an answer for Boozer, and Golden State probably won't either.  Carlos has quickly developed into one of the best post players in the league.  He flashed a perfectly balanced repertoire against Houston...scoring at will from mid-range and around the hoop.

The Real Stephen Jackson? - The "volatile one" had a great series against Dallas, highlighted by an impressive 47.5% shooting from beyond the arc.  The only question is, which Stephen Jackson will show up?

Great Expectations

Overall, this series should have its share of fireworks.  Both teams play with high intensity, even though they have contrasting styles.  With a trip to the Western Conference Finals on the line, expect nothing less than an all-out dogfight.

So how did these two teams get here?  It doesn't matter...this should be one hell of a fight.