My brother was in town this weekend, so I invited a few guys over to watch the De La Hoya - Mayorga fight on Saturday night.  First of all, hell of a fight.  It's incredibly satisfying watching some loudmouth idiot getting the crap kicked out of him.  That's a good lesson for future aspiring idiots (although one tempered by his $2 million payday, to be sure). 

The bad news is I discovered many dudes lack even the most basic understanding of proper fight night behavior.  Therefore, as a public service, and with apologies to some other slightly more popular online writers, here are a few quick guidelines.  Print them out and thank me later.

1. Bring beer.  Unless you don't drink or the host has made other arrangements (i.e., keg).  This is basic common sense.
   
2. Don't bring cheap beer and then drink someone else's expensive beer.  If Natty Light is all you can afford, drink it like a man.
   
3. Don't bring fruity beer.  Just don't.  If a beer has more than three words in its name it's unacceptable for fight night.  (This wraps up the beer portion of our list.)
   
4. Don't bring your wife / girlfriend / mom / sister.  Unless your sister is hot and likes boxing and you're cool with that.  Otherwise, chicks screw this sort of thing up.
   
5. Stop talking.  Boxing is a quick sport - blink and you may miss the knockout punch.  Incessant talking about unrelated subjects is very bad form.  During rounds, restrict your commentary to variations of: oh man, did you see that? / come on, FIGHT dammit / he's beating him like a rented mule / and YEAH!!!!  Nothing else really needs to be said. 
   
6. Larry Merchant always talks like that.  But it's always funny, so go for it.
   
7. We can all do a Harold Lederman impression.  It's just as un-funny as yours.
   
8. Pay your share.  The typical PPV boxing match costs about 50 bucks.  Divide that by the number of people in the room and offer the money to the host - in cash.  Do it early and publicly to get the ball rolling.  Note: It's not ok, with one foot out the door, to say, "So, uh, do you want some money?"
   
9. If you're the host, decline offers to split the cost if your bankroll affords the opportunity.  Use good judgment here.  If you're loaded and your friends aren't, eat the cost and mooch off their pizza and beer.  If you're too poor to pull that off, you probably have a crappy place anyway and should be watching the fight somewhere else.  (Unless you're poor because you blew all your money on a 52-inch HDTV.)
   
10. Finally, don't be "that guy."  There are many "that guys."  There's that guy who talks too much ... that guy who drinks too much and challenges everyone in the room to a fight ... that guy who "will just maybe have a slice of pizza" so he doesn't kick in for the food ... or that guy who compares every single fight to that one Tyson bout he once saw.  In the end, they're all "that guy we won't be inviting back next time." 
    

These should help you get through most basic fight night situations, although more advanced issues may sometimes crop up.  Anyone have anything to add to the list?