ROCKETS WCC WRITE THIS DOWN HATERS

Yao will win a championship.  Might not be this year, but he will win one.  Hes better than Shaq because he makes his free throws.  He gets the star treatment.  Is the game fixed?  Of course, it always has been.  The playoffs are about superstars everyone knows that.  They get the calls.  Quick guards like jordan Tmac and wade get to the line.  And you need two superstars to win a title.  The Rockets have two, so do Phoenix and Denver.  (The Pistons were the exception that prove that rule)  The Jazz certainly do not, nor do they have much appeal beyond a certain desertified state that I hope never to visit.  You certainly dont bank on Ak47's offensive contributions, but Okur's numbers are unforgivable.  Boozer was nasty for this one game, but Deron is no Stockon, not that John could ever have won anyway toting the albatross that is karl malone.

In an earlier blog I predicted the spurs for wcc with the rockets as a very strong dark horse.  I do think the spurs will advance, but they are looking old.  rappin Tony is a star, but not a superstar.  Same with Ginobili, although he has the potential.  On the other hand the Rockets are shooting terribly and are still up 2-0.  I hate to say it but the west has gotten stronger since the spurs won their last one, and this is their last chance as presently constructed.  The rockets will be sick once they dump bonzi and Juwan for someone nice, but they could do it this year if they get production from "the other guys" the way they did in game 2.  Look for Tmac to finally catch fire and steal a game in Utah.

 

peace!

FIRE CRAWFORD.  At least, suspend him from the playoffs.  the refs CANNOT be allowed to insert their own egos into the game. An example needs to be made and crawford is the perfect bald sweaty little ball of hate for it.  He needs to understand very clearly that the fans want to see the young black millionaires that he obviously despises and we dont give a shit about his bruised ego.  Crawford so clearly crossed the line of impartiality that there is no way that he should be allowed to referee anymore.

Nba finals picks 2007

3-19-07

Western Conference Champs: the Spurs

Dark horse pick: the Rockets

Yes, I was tempted to go berserk and pick the Rockets for WCC, but if they face the Spurs their lack of experience and bench will be the factor. The thing with the Rockets is always "if they're healthy" and this year it looks like they're gonna be healthy just at the right time and poised to inflict some serious trauma, even without the beast that was Sura. They have two totally unstoppable players and a point guard who finally realizes that he better pass it to them or its back to the Kingsbridge-Parkchester King Cobra circuit. If the Rockets can make the finals then it's a huge boost for lowlife hoodrat streetballers everywhere not to mention a nation of billions where I'm basically a giant at 5'10". Of course, there are 16 games left in the regular season and plenty of horrible injuries that could and probably will happen to T-Mac and Yao between now and then but.... I've seen a fire burning in those crooked eyes this year and it's about not getting herbed in the first round again. Second round, I really think they're gonna pull the upset against a team that is softer than a wet-nap. Dampier and Stoudemire are undersized centers and will be pulverized by Yao. Yes, he was created in a laboratory and he's not twisted and hateful inside like Jordan and Kobe, but Yao is really, really tall and he's frickin dominating this year. And he's a nice guy and everyone likes him, so he's a winner already. As for the Spurs, what can you say: Duncan, Manu, and Eva always represent, its up to Finley and Barry who are playing well this year. The Spurs still miss Rasho "Ice Grill" Nesterovic but Elson is working out nicely. And as for the Suns, the Mavs, the Nugs and all the rest of em, it aint happenin. Nash is an incredible player but if you've watched any Suns games this year you know that he cant play a full game, there are stretches during every game where he lies on his back on the sidelines writhing in pain and watching his team blow the lead that he racked up. That aint gonna cut it in the playoffs. What about the Mavs? Well they are a very deep team but Dirk is a choker and Stern and all the other little billionaire frat boys hate Mark Cuban's guts.

 

Eastern Conference Champs

: the Pistons

Dark horse pick: the Heat

The Cavs and the Wizards do not want to see the Heat in the first round, because they will be punked like Hardaway and punished for ever thinking they were nice enough to ball on television. And as much as I like the Raptors (the only other team in the nba that you can get every game on bittorrent is the kings), if they face the Heat first round they will be swept outta there like a line of blow in a cyclone. The Pistons will have no problem with the Nets, Pacers or Isaiah Thomases. The second round should be a breeze too. Webber's choking tendencies will be limited so much by the rugged Pistons veterans that he might actually become clutch. As for the clutch player of the Heat, I've had a separated shoulder before and Wade's ability to finish will be severely diminished, and that's the only ray of hope for the Cavs, but........ I don't really see any possibility for a team other than the Heat or Pistons to represent the East. If Lebron does somehow (bribe) make it to the finals he'll be snuffed quicker than he stole something off my tray, with of course the obligatory one-game 40+ takeover for the sponsors like Iverson was allotted. 

The Champion: the Spurs

Yeah, I know everybody is all giddy about the ascendance of Nashketball, but the man on tv says "defense wins championships" and he would never lie to me. And the truth is that even though Pistons-Spurs sounds boring, the Spurs have two of the most exciting players in the league Ginobili and Parker, and the Pistons are more offense-oriented this year with Webber. Unfortunately like last year it will all depend greatly on who bribed the refs and how much, so I could be totally wrong and it might be Cavs-Mavs which rhymes.

 

 

NBA: Buns Patters, Floppers

 

1)  Buns Patters

Kobe (The Black Mamba) is the best player in the game and yes better than Dwayne Wade.  But, (no pun intended) when I was watching the Lakers/Bobcats game I noticed that Kobe is a buns-patter.  No big deal but after receiving a hard hug-foul from Matt Caroll, he gave Matt the ol' hearty butt-pat.  It seems that a majority of NBA players are involved in the practice, either spankers or being spanked.  But where does this odd tradition originate?  Is it similar to cycles of abuse where the victim eventually becomes the victimizer?  Has any NBA player ever said "no" to buns-patting? 

I've played pick-up basketball for well over a decade so that makes me an expert.   I hypothesize that butt-slapping must be a trait exclusive to organized team sports, since I never played any.  You just don't see it in pickup games, so maybe it's a result of the familiarity and bonding of sporty men.  I usually play on outdoor courts, and I think that adds something of a fear factor in those split-second decisions of deciding whether or not to pat.  My guess is patters are more likely to frequent gyms.  In fact, in my decade and a half of playing pickup b-ball, the only place I've ever witnessed a butt-pat was in the YMCA.  Nuff said.  And yes, I was among the violated. 

I don't watch football, but my girlfriend says they grab each others asses.  She could be messing with me, but I think we've all seen enough victory pile-ups and dry humps to give this some credence.  She seems to think that most professional athletes are homosexuals.  And I think there's something to that.  Not that there's anything wrong with that.

The whole masculine/feminine duality exists on a scale.  There are girly men, and there are WNBA chicks.  That said, the far end of the masculine scale is not populated by suave lady-killers, but by super macho homosexuals.  (see pro wrestling)  The ancient Greek city-state of Sparta was well known for its ultra-tough-guy warrior class;  they ate together, trained together, fought together....Initiation into the Spartan warrior class featured a homosexual induction at the age of 12. 

Anthropologist Gilbert Herdt, who studied homosexuality in primitive cultures, writes that "ritual homosexuality has been reported by anthropologists in scattered areas around the world (revealing a) ....pervasive link between ritual homosexuality and the warrior ethos...We find these similar forms of warrior homosexuality in such diverse places as New Guinea, the Amazon, ancient Greece, and historical Japan.  The process of a boy's homosexual initiation in these societies is horrific: he is deprived of sleep, starved, beaten and raped over several days until he is completely "resocialized" as a homosexual."

Think about that next time some dude homes in on your butt after you made a simple freakin layup.

2. Floppers

I think the NBA should switch to concrete courts, and not the smooth kind but the kind you can ball full speed on just after it rained.  The flopping epidemic is way out of control, at least one person seems to fall down unnecessarily on every play.  It's sickening.  The offensive guys fall down on purpose trying to get the and-one, and the defensive guys trying to draw a charge stand up ram-rod straight so that even the slightest touch will make them lose their balance.  Disgusting.  Either challenge the shot or try to send it back in the guy's face, give the foul, or get out of the way.  A bunch of grown men rolling around on the floor and whining because they didn't get a call instead of hustling back on d, the increasing flop-fest is not why people watch the NBA.

*A last minute note:  a month or so ago I posted this on fox sports and I guess that's how long it took to filter up to the upper echelons of NBA decision-making, because a technical foul for flopping is in the works.  They really listen to me after all.

 

 

"Magic has aids".....yeah, I remember when they announced it...I was a little kid and not much into b-ball but I knew who he was....I also remember a couple years ago when every bus and subway stop in nyc had the Glaxo poster of Magic saying "I am NOT cured....I take a combination of these fine drugs produced by Glaxo...."  Interesting wording on that Earvin, were conspiracy theories spreading amongst the poor folks who ride the bus?  Two decades later and he's just fine, those must be some great drugs, has he been taking them all along?  What a filthy lie.  The first drug touted as an AIDS drug was AZT, a highly toxic anti-cure that would reduce anyone to sickness in no time.  Imagine, a person tests positive, not for HIV mind you, but for the so-called HIV antibody.  And that person, still perfectly healthy with no symptoms, who has tested positive for this antibody which is not strictly related to HIV, is given toxic drugs which make them sick in a matter of weeks, resulting in what?.....you guessed it, a compromised immune system.  And to top it off, HIV does not cause AIDS 100% of the time as Glaxo would have you believe.  There are many people who have tested positive for HIV, wisely avoided the drugs, lived healthy lives and when they were tested a decade later the result was negative.  MAGIC HAS NOT BEEN TAKING THOSE TOXIC DRUGS FOR 2O YEARS HE WOULD BE THIN, SICKLY AND PROBABLY DEAD.  Yeah, and I guess he hasnt had sex in 20 years either, either that or his wife/b!tches have a hell of a lot more faith in the unbreakability of a condom than I do.  Magic's pledge to help and speak out for the victims of AIDS is one of the most sickening examples of hypocritical save your own a$$ and screw everyone else behavior in recent memory.  And what has our hero done with his second lease on life, made his pockets fat by building a bunch of crappy @ss theatres that shockingly get shot up every other week while promoting a bunch of violent ignorant crap designed to mold the next generation of convict slaves.  So F--- Magic and his butt buddy Isaiah who disowned his own son for being gay of all things when he spent all those years on tv mouth kissing Earvin.  Isaiah, have you had your HIV test?  Glaxo can always use another poster boy.