Somewhere in an undisclosed Southern California FOX office building there is a poor sap saddled with the task of wading through oodles of entrants into the Next Great Sportswriter II competition. "Bndos is a Dooper!" followed by several incoherent sentences obviously written while under the influence of stupidity. "C-L-I-P-P-E-R-S R-U-L-E" as if we are unable to hear you without the capital letters, and yes I made that up because we all know their only fan is Billy Crystal.

WHAT'RE WE GONNA DO? 

Allow me to assist FOX in the task at hand before the coffee runs out. I have compiled a solid group of bloggers. This is not the bar none best out there, but rather an eclectic selection of talent. Yes, I will leave off members of my favorites list, other friends and very capable writers. Deal with it.

BY THE WAY, HOW WOULD YOU RUN THIS FELLA?

Thanks for asking, Mr. Headline. Since I am indulging in this rare non-sports related piece, I might as well lay out how I would execute the finals. There are 27 people at the bottom of this post, let's use that Super Sized number for the finals. Bigger is always better or at least that is what my taller older brother always told me.

The finalists will be immediately challenged by having three days (starting Monday) to impress the voting public (I would change the whole star system, but that's too much to get into). On Wednesday evening, the 9 drawing the lowest average to that point officially go on notice. Thursday, Friday and Saturday the low group has to rev up their efforts in order to stave off elimination while the top 18 is safe. When the voting is over, the highest score is back in the mix and the judges will save another person they deem worthy. Seven dreams are dashed, leaving a field of 20.

Round 2: The initial voting period will cover a fourth day this time as finalists try to build momentum, and then the bottom 10 face two days of voting to remain in contention. The choice of the judges and two highest rated blogs join the Dirty Baker's Dozen. Round 3: Same as round 2 with the bottom 6 facing the vote-off. This time only two are spared (one by judges, one by voters) and the Fine Nine remain. Round 4: Full week of voting, judges choose one of bottom 4 to save, other three are out with Pick Six left. Round 5: Same as round 4, only no exemptions and three more leave. Round 6: Three headed monster for all the marbles. Nashville Star style.

This would involve more bloggers, create more mid-week buzz and give people at the bottom of the voting an opportunity to step up their game before being unceremoniously eliminated.

QUIT YAPPING AND GIVE US THE LIST

I am going to give only a blurb on each person with a link to an article in some cases. This piece has already been lost to the FOX blog gods once, so please forgive minor goofs.

RETURNING FINALISTS: Yes, they already had their chance, but if Daniel Franco can be asked back for Project Runway 2 why not them?

DrMidnight: It isn't just the wicked Green Lantern avatar either.

mustangj17: Forget the spell check. Just go with the flow and be entertained.

 

LATE ARRIVALS FOR NGS I:  Missed the first time, but still veterans of the game.

Patmoran2006: Mainly an NFL guy, but given the shot to surprise us in other sports I think he will succeed.

DrCrab: Opinionated, passionate and knowledgeable. Created the mini blog.

cuziffer: Raw, simple and from the heart. We have all sat at a bar with a guy like him.

 

 

INTERNATIONAL FLAVOR: The NHL and NBA are in Canada, American football is played across the pond so if the shoe fits wear it.

The_Dan: His contests have consistently captured the attention and interest of the community. McDonald's can pay him in orange juice.

TTBoy2000: If you think being in London limits his knowledge, think again. Great perspective.

WHAT'S NEXT?: The new breed of bloggers, for very different reasons.

absolutebest: New, fresh and confident. Ignore the Blaine thing.

Demonicume: The piece on Marco Hutchinson gets him here. Editing is all he needs.

MeanDovine: For my dollar, the best newcomer since II was announced. He is smooth and classy. His tracking of the NBA guards has been fun to follow.

nappytemple: Caught my eye with his NFL draft drinking game.

the_capital_t: Straight to the point, says what is on his mind and no fluff whatsoever.

GIRLS, GIRLS, GIRLS: Hey, I needed another category.

sleeplessinseattle: Stiffed the first time around, and many will agree with that.

tjw118: Appeals to all kinds of men apparently, although I had her tabbed before the QE announcement.

Josettedupres: Graphics are her game, but she writes well just the same.

Ellesie99: Simple style, very relatable and extremely active.

TRIED & TRUE: These are the comfortable shirts in the closet for that Sunday afternoon. Familiar, sometimes smelly and always there when you need them.

UltraMegaOK1988: Every good competition needs a controversial contestant.

Dudski: Pure writing. No flash, just substance.

Socalsportsfan: Unlike Bruce in Surivivor: Exile Islands, I want him to go out on his terms or just win it all.

James_M_Morisete: Detailed and thought provoking. "Add a caption" blogs are an added bonus.

The_Sports_Intellectual: Crazy? Affirmative. Funny though, and I laugh every time I open it up.

Gbrent: Plays it straight and writes material in a style that you would see in a magazine.

MooreSports: Flat out game. Works in pop culture references fluidly.

Rivjo: Widely respected and for good reason.

ShooterB: Very qualified to tackle the sports of the season, especially baseball.

Born2playin69: The kind of person that you root for and can relate to.

NorthsideFan: If he is up to the task of posting regularly again, you will see why I list him.

WHO DID I MISS?

Here is the thing. My group is comprised of a few people who might not necessarily win, but would provide a great deal of entertainment. Sort of like casting a reality show. Also, I believe some bloggers simply need that extra lift of being in the finals to really excel. Sure, I omitted some very talented people because as much as I hate to admit it, I am not omnipotent but they will get over it.