Thank goodness the New York Giants saved us from the potential nightmare that would have followed the Patriots capping off a perfect season with a Super Bowl win. In stead of a boring 21-point blowout like I originally expected from Super Bowl XLII, we got many many more interesting headlines and storylines:

- The Clumsy Little Brother beats Mr. Perfect

- The game ACTUALLY was better than the ads for once

- Not so easy to go 19-0 if you can't cheat, eh, Bill?

- The Immaculate Reception II featuring David Tyree

- Brothers first back-to-back Super Bowl champs and MVPs

- Wild Card team beats "greatest of all time"

- Defense DOES win championships

- Blame it on Gisele. Jessica only cost her man a playoff game; Gisele cost her man the Super Bowl and the perfect season

- Everyone can stop comparing Tom Brady to Joe Montana now. "I've met Joe Montana, and Mr. Brady, you are no Joe Montana."

- Pats lose Super Bowl and perfect season and STILL ge the 7th Pick in the Draft

- How will the Patriots keep all the high-priced talent who's contracts expire today?

- The only bad thing about the Patriots losing is hearing from Don Shula and his big-mouthed old cronies.

And the list just keeps on going.

Let's all say hello to the 2008 Season shall we, where the Dolphins and Patriots are tied once again.

-- Mr Pressbox

Lauren Wallace is the third cousin (once removed) of Rusty and Mike Wallace; and these are his adventures. Note: the following is a fictional account of fictional people.

ATLANTA: Andretti Speedway, Andretti Indoor Kart Racing Center

The first 45 laps of the 50-lap third heat of the Junior Nationals went as planned; Billy and Lauren traded the lead back and forth while Timmy and Jenny knocked each other around in the third and fourth spots.

With five laps to go, Timmy managed to pull up behind Lauren (in 2nd) and gave him a hard shot as he entered Turn 3 at the narrow end of the track. This pushed Lauren up the race track, rubbing his tires along the guard rail.

The Andretti oval track is shaped like Darlington Raceway, with a large end (Turns 1 and 2) and a narrow end (Turns 3 and 4).

Maintaining his composure and control of his cart, Lauren slammed on the gas and cut down in front of Timmy - letting off the gas just a bit. Seeing Lauren slow down forced Timmy to slam on the brakes. Instead of checking up, Jenny swerved to the outside of Timmy, clipping his left rear tire, which turned Timmy sideways and forced him into the inside barrier.

Lauren worked his way back up to Billy, where the two raced side-by-side for the last few laps. As the white flag waved, both drivers looked at each other - as if the flag was a signal to intimidate the other - and both nodded.

Into Turn 1, Lauren, with his white retro racing helmet bouncing in his kart like a bobble-head doll, tried to pull a cross-over maneuver on Billy, but Billy did not bite. Through Turn 3, Lauren and Billy were side-by-side and Lauren had the momentum on the outside.

Seeing this, Billy straightened his kart out early in Turn 4 trying to cut Lauren off. Instead, the two cars bumped and Lauren did not wreck - as Billy had hoped. Lauren's left front tire hopped up on to Billy's car and lodged between Billy's bumper and right front tire.

Billy literally drug Lauren's car out of Turn 4 and across the finish line, with Lauren physically crossing the finish line first.

After many debates between race officials, drivers and parents, the ruling on the track named Lauren the winner.

"Did you hear that? CRACK. Lauren Wallace strikes again. That's another win for Lauren Wallace, boys," Lauren boasted.

"I would have beat you if your car didn't get stuck on mine," Billy complained.

"What was that?" Lauren jested as he bent over and picked up his first-place trophy - holding it out in front of him, in Billy's face. "I couldn't hear what you said. The glare off my trophy was distracting me."

"Whatever, Lauren," Timmy interjected. "If you're so good, how come you don't have a sponsor? Huh?"

Without missing a beat, Lauren pulls the toothpick out of his mouth and cradles the trophy in his left arm.

"My sponsor is a new little business," he said.

"Really?" Timmy quipped. "What is this little business called?"

"Nunya," Lauren said. Jenny spit her soda out of her mouth as she began laughing and even Lauren's mom chuckled.

"What's so fun?" Billy asked. "Nunya? Never heard of it."

"Nunya business - that's awesome, Lauren," Jenny said still laughing.

"None-... real funny, Wallace. Real funny," an embarrassed Billy spouted.

"Well, fellas, it's been fun, but Texas awaits," Lauren said heading out of the racing complex. "See you boys there?"

"Bye, Lauren! Bye, Mrs. Wallace," yells Jenny as Lauren and his mother cross the parking lot. "See you in Texas!"

As Lauren begins changing in the back room of the motor coach, his mom tells him he has a message from cousin Rusty.

"Rusty wants to know if you want to join him on Trackside on Speed Channel Friday night before the Texas race?" she asked.

"Who's gonna be there?" he asked. "Is Krista Voda gonna be there? She's hot."

"No, honey," she responded. "I think it is just going to be you, Jeff Hammond, Larry Mac, DW, Rusty, Kenny and maybe Mike."

"Great. A sausage fest," Lauren mumbled under his breath.

"What did you say, dear?" his mom asked. "Nothing, mom. Just wondering what I'm gonna wear," he answered.

"Hey, mom. Is there are Sonic around here, I'm hungry. And we need to pick up toothpicks. I'm almost out."

"Well if you wouldn't keep throwing them away, you'd have more left," she answered. "But mom, that's my thing. That's Lauren Wallace's thing."

"We'll see what there is to eat here before we get to the interstate," she said. "Texas here we come."

"Where the stars at night are big and bright [clap clap clap clap] deep in the heart of Texas!" Lauren sang.

"What are you doing?" his mom asked.

"Just practicing, mom. Just practicing."

TO BE CONTINUTED: WEDNESDAY (In the Lone Star state)

Note: These are all fictional stories of fictional people. The Misadventures of Lauren Wallace will run concurrently with the NASCAR schedule in several segments each week.

Lauren Wallace is the third cousin (once removed) of Rusty and Mike Wallace; and these are his adventures. Many have speculated as to his relation to the Wallace family, due in part to his attitude - when Mike is so passive and Rusty, is well Rusty. He is third cousins (once removed), so there has been enough genetic interferrance to negate any significant damage Wallace DNA may have caused.

ATLANTA: Andretti Speedway, Andretti Indoor Kart Racing Center

Junior Nationals Qualifying results (first two rows):

Row 1: Billy Buttons; Timmy Turner

Row 2: Lauren Wallace; Jenny Junebug

Sitting in the concession area with his mom, Lauren downs some of his RC Cola before going back to his corn dog and crinkle fries.

Billy and Timmy wander over to Lauren's table, obviously to throw some jabs.

"We thought you were lightning waiting to strike?" Timmy said. "It didn't look like it out there on the track. Plus you almost got beat out by a girl."

"Not just any girl;" Billy interjected, "his Girl-Friend. Ha ha ha! At least you have the best seat in the house to watch me win tonight."

Lauren removes his sunglasses and takes the toothpick out of his mouth. "I am lightning ready to strike," he snipped. "The one thing you forget about lightning, is that you can't predict it. You never know when or where it is going to strike."

"I qualified third on purpose, Billy," he added. "I'm that good. I qualify when I want, where I want. Now you'll know I'm behind you, right on your bumper, the whole time; worrying about where I am, what I am doing and when I'm gonna strike or put you into the wall. And while you're too busy worrying about me on your tail, you'll make a mistake, get loose, and then ... CRACK ... Lauren Wallace has struck again. You'll look back and not see me there anymore and think 'Where the heck did he go?' and by the time you get your head turned back around, I'm already two car lengths ahead and pulling away."

"Whatever, Lauren," Billy responded. "You are so full of it. You haven't beaten me once yet this year."

"Hey, Billy, Krispy Creme called and said if you don't stop eating so many doughnuts, they're gonna pull your sponsorship," Lauren said. "Plus, you've wrecked me twice on the last lap to win. Try winning on your own for once - I still have more wins than you this year. How do you explain that?"

"Don't sweat him, Billy," Timmy rushed in to defense. "He's just mad because Row 2 is an all-girls row. Right, LAU-REN?"

The boys always give Lauren grief about his name, especially since he was given the girl's version of the name. Not the male version, Loren, but the female version. He always wondered why, and on one trip, his mother explained to him that his father is a huge Johnny Cash and Bonanza fan.

And one of Cash's more famous songs, "A Boy named Sue" talks about a father who named his son Sue in order to ensure he would grow up tough. So, to ensure his son would be a tough boys-boy, mans-man, he named him Lauren - also after Big Ben Cartwright, Loren Greene, from Bonanza (yes, it is Lorne Greene - blame his father, not me).

"Real mature fellas," Lauren retorted. "Don't come crying to me when Jenny runs cirlces around both of you, making you the laughing stock of the series. And she's not my gir--"

"Laaauuu-rrreeeenn!" came the sweet-pitched southern bell accent from accross the concession area.

"Oh, great," Lauren grumbled. "Mom, don't we have somewhere to go or something?"

"Hi Lauren! Hi Mrs. Wallace!" Jenny exclaimed in her excited 10-year-old girlie voice.

Her face scowled and her voice dropped to a nearly evil octave as she turned to the other boys, "Billy. Timmy. Don't you boys need to get in a little more practice before you lose tonight?"

Jenny sits down on the bench right next to Lauren's mom - right across from Lauren - "So when did you guys get here, Lauren? Where are you staying? There's a few motorcoaches gathering down at the Wal-Mart parking lot and we're all just hanging out."

"Maybe we will join you," Lauren's mom said. "Is your mom here? Sounds like fun."

"Mom!" Lauren interjects. Lauren stands up at the table, grabs the toothpick out of his mouth and spikes it to the ground. "You're killing me!" He then grabs his tray and heads to the trash recepticle.

"ALL JUNIOR COMPETITORS TO THE CONFERENCE ROOM FOR YOUR PRE-RACE BRIEFING. PARENTS ARE REQUIRED TO ATTEND."

"Saved by the bell," Lauren mumbled to himself.

TO BE CONTINUTED: MONDAY (post race)

Note: These are all fictional stories of fictional people. The Misadventures of Lauren Wallace will run concurrently with the NASCAR schedule in several segments each week.

Lauren Wallace is the third cousin (once removed) of Rusty and Mike Wallace; and these are his adventures. Many have speculated as to his relation to the Wallace family, due in part to his attitude - when Mike is so passive and Rusty, is well Rusty. He is third cousins (once removed), so there has been enough genetic interferrance to negate any significant damage Wallace DNA may have caused.

ATLANTA: Andretti Speedway, Andretti Indoor Kart Racing Center

Lauren Wallace finished his triple stack pancakes at IHOP and pulled a toothpick out of his junior sized Wrangler jeans. On his way to the track -while watching Disney/Pixar's CARS on the DVD inside the family's Dodge Caravan, Lauren's mother received a call from a potential sponsor wanting Warren as their junior circuit sponsor. But Lauren was not interested in sponsoring car insurance.

"It's beneath me," he said. "I'm like 10 years old. Who is gonna buy insurance because I'm riding around with their logo on my car? Plus, what do I get out of it? Where's the free stuff? What free stuff can I get from a car insurance company?"

At the speedway, Mrs. Wallace drops the rear gate of the stocky Featherlite trailer and Lauren climbs inside and begins pushing his kart racer out - according to Lauren , it is a kart racer, not a go-kart. "Go-karts are for kids."

After Lauren pushes his kart through the access door, his mom hands him his freshly cleaned white racing suit with its retro red-black-yellow racing strip down his left side. "Your glasses are in the case, inside the pocket, honey," she says.

The suit is believed to be a hand-me-down from Mike and/or Rusty Wallace and is a Wallace family racing tradition. Lauren also believes it to be the source of his racing power, and has vowed to take it with him into his ARCA, Nationwide, and Sprint Cup racing careers.

"Mom, knock it off," Lauren scolded. "You don't know who might be around."

Walking out of the changing room (aka: restroom), Lauren glides the oversized sun glasses on to his face, shifts his toothpicks around in his mouth, and looks around to see who else has shown up.

"Good day to lose, eh, Lauren ?" says Timmy Turner, who drove down from Richmond for the big Atlanta Juniors race. "And where's your mommy? Getting some tissue for your tears after I beat you?"

"The only thing you could beat me at Timmy is booger eating," Lauren quipped. "Hey, remind me later to introduce you to a friend of mine; the wall."

"Your wall comments never get old," said Billy Buttons, a rather chunky kid from Paducah, Kentucky who travels the country kart racing because he is a spoiled kid who's parents have more money than they know what to do with. They own a glue factory or something.

The loud speaker booms: "All junior racers to the waiting area. Qualifying begins in 10 minutes."

"It's on, boys!" Lauren said.

"Like Donkey Kong," Billy retorted. Both Lauren and Timmy laugh.

"You are so lame, Billy," Lauren said as he flipped his toothpick to the ground.

TO BE CONTINUTED: FRIDAY

Note: These are all fictional stories of fictional people. The Misadventures of Lauren Wallace will run concurrently with the NASCAR schedule in several segments each week.

The Chase for the Cup is more than halfway complete and everything seems to be in order for a controversy-free finish.

And, NO, Junior fans; "We would have won the championship if our engines didn't keep blowing up," isn't a valid controversy - it is sad reminder that DEI just isn't up to Tier 1 competition yet and a lame excuse.

Teammates Jeff Gordon and Jimmie Johnson (-53) are running away with the title - fighting over it back and forth (figuratively and literally) as the Chase continues. Clint Bowyer (-115), however, is still lurking in striking distance, but is one bad race away from leaving Gordon and Johnson alone at the top.

Farther back are Tony Stewart (-249), Carl Edwards (-285), and Kyle Busch (-290) - who are all hoping for a Holiday Miracle to get them back into the Chase. But anything short of a Tonya Harding-Nancy Kerrigan repeat pretty much means these guys are done.

Then there is the rest of the best; Kevin Harvick, Denny Hamlin, Jeff Burton, Kurt Busch, Martin Truex Jr., and Matt Kenseth. I believe the OSCARs calls this the "Just happy to be nominated" group.

But things are falling into place, just as they should.

Gordon has six wins, Johnson has seven, and no one else has more than three wins.

Gordon has 20 top 5 finishes, Johnson 17, with Denny Hamlin (11) the only other racer with more than 10.

Gordon has 26 top 10 finishes, Johnson has 20, and only Tony Stewart (22) has more than 20 top 10s.

Gordon leads all racers with 1280 laps led to date, and Johnson has 1216. No other racer has topped 1000 laps led, although Tony Stewart is close with 980.

Not that money has anything to do with Championships (right) but Gordon has $6,531,278 and Johnson has $6,455,627. Kevin Harvick leads all racers with $6,934,224 - due to no DNFs and has completed the most laps - no other racer has earned more than $6 million so far.

Barring some epic 2004 Yankees-like collapse to the Red Sox, Gordon will either grab his fifth career title or Johnson will walk home with back-to-back titles.

And who said the Chase didn't work? Now qualifying - that's a whole different story.