Taking a page from nearly every writer out there, it's time for me to clear out my Sports inbox from readers, family and friends who believe I'm the Sports equivalent of Johnny Carson when he pretended to be Carnac. It's taken me awhile to build up the volume so I could do this, but here it is, e-mails from readers with my responses. Random topics include Joe Theismann and American Idol, LeBron's lack of a "killer" instinct, Inconsolable Colts Fans and questions about a possible Man Crush I have on Kobe Bryant.

As Bill Simmons always says, "Yep, these are my readers"...

Moore, Email: Theismann
Yesterday on his radio program, Dan Patrick asked Joe Theismann his take on American Idol and Simon Cowell.  In a rather abrupt tone, Theismann lashed out at Idol (and Simon) for using negative criticism and other derogatory quips to drive ratings and demoralize contestants.  I expected this sort of reaction from Theismann, but it got me thinking...  has Joe Theismann ever said anything bad about anyone?  Is he capable of finding the downside in any argument?  I'm thinking no.  Furthermore, who do you think would win in a death match between Joe Theismann and Tony Robbins? --Ty, PA

Moore Sports: You know, I heard that too. I listen to ESPN Radio throughout the day at work. Here's my theory: Joe Theismann is the anti-Simon Cowell. Think about every Sunday Night Football game we've ever seen and Theismann always has something good to say, so to answer one of your questions, no, he cannot find the downside of any argument. But then again, what would you expect from a guy who lets L.T. joke about that vicious leg-breaking incident?

I looked it up and couldn't find anything...except that Theismann is the author of, and I'm not making this up, "The Complete Idiots Guide To Football". If you don't believe me, click here.

Often, it sounds like he's reading that book to us on live television. For example, a couple buddies and I were watching the 'Skins-Bucs playoff game a couple weeks ago and on third down late in the game, Joe says this--"What Clinton Portis wanted to do was gain as many yards as he could so when you punt the ball you want to take that Buc offense as far back as possible." Blank faces. Confused stares. And it prompted a five minute beer run discussion about why there's a need for "analysts" like this. I mean, I could have said that. There's no real "insider" information from Joe. 

Just to continue, because this is fun, Theismann earlier this season referred to Kyle Orton as the "second coming of Jim Miller" and meant it as a good thing. Jim Miller and second coming are only mentioned in a Bears Apocalypse story.

Oh, and in answer to your last question, Tony Robbins would simply break Theismann's leg and the match would be over.

Moore, E-mail: Kobe
I don't know if you caught Bomani Jones' column about LeBron James on Page 2 yesterday, if you didn't, check it out... its hysterical to me because he basically says that its ok, maybe even good that LeBron isn't a "killer" like Kobe, and that he looks to pass to his teammates before just hoisting a shot. The best part is i just watched a replay of the Nuggets/Cavs game from last night, and "King LeBron" was in full effect going 6-13 from the line and missing two critical free throws down the stretch. Also, on the second to last Cavs possession of the game, with his team trailing by 2, they rebounded a missed free-throw and Eric Snow kicks it out to LeBron who is wide open from three point land, so being the star of all stars that he is he cans the three Cavs win right? No! He turns down a wide open shot to swing the ball to some guy named Pavlovic, the same guy who just missed two free throws to tie the game by the way, who then proceeds to drive in and turn the ball over... with about 15 seconds left. Then the Cavs foul Najera who hits one of two to make it a three point game...next Cavs possession George Karl pulls the classic dumb coaching move of fouling a guy before they can get a game tying three off, setting up this following classic sequence:  LeBron, who at this point is 5-10  from the line, calmly sinks the first to make it a 2 point game with 2.6 seconds on the clock....He intentionally missed the second one and (this is why you don't foul someone in this situation) flys in to grab his own miss and tip it back in...but he gets fouled, setting up this dare to be great scenario:  You are "KING JAMES" your team is on the road against your pseudo rival Carmelo Anthony and the Nuggets, down by 2, with .06 seconds on the clock, you have two free throws... you stroke the first one and.........You GATOR ARM the hell out of the second one. CAVS LOSE!! CAVS LOSE!!  But here's my question does Kobe miss that freebie? No! In fact, he probably never shoots it because he drains that first three that LeBron passed up. Kobe does what he does because it is the best thing for the Lakers, and honestly i can't remember the last time Kobe choked down the stretch. One more tidbit: James is 2-15 in his career attempting game winning or game tying shots with less than 10 seconds to go....if free throws count I guess he's now 2-16, wonder what Kobe is in those situations, maybe you should look it up....--Wes, Indianapolis

Moore Sports: First, that wins "Longest Ranting Sports E-mail Ever Received" and will stay in my inbox until Hotmail closes my account because of space issues. It's been printed out and framed, as well.

Now, as for the comments, you gave a better play by play than I'm sure the TV guys did. As I stated last week in my Miami Vice Plan for Sports TV, we need more like you calling games. I read that Jones' column, and I've got to agree with you--I'm not certain it's ever been a good thing in the world of Sports to not have a "killer" instinct. We like to call those people Peyton Manning. Whoops. Not there yet.

Kobe maybe jacking up 45 shots a game and missing a couple potential game winners, as I think he has at least 2-3 times in the past few months, but he's certainly not blowing multiple opportunities in the same game. This is purely a media creation, Kobe vs. LeBron. Even James says that Bryant's a better player right now. And I'd agree: you can't be called "King" if you are 2-16 in game winning or game tying situations. Maybe we should call him "Court Jester".

Now as for some information on Kobe in those situations, simply click here for 82games.com in-depth research on stats in the final five minutes of a game with neither team ahead or behind by more than five points. Word of warning: its last year's stats. Best I could find on short notice. I guess I missed my put back there--just like LeBron.

Moore E-Mail:
Do you have a Man-Crush on Kobe Bryant, and be honest?-- Todd, Cleveland

Moore Sports: No, Todd, unfortunately I "broke up" with the Lakers over a month ago. I've got no feelings towards him one way or another. In that above-linked column, I even spoke fairly ill of him. Sadly, we can save the Rocky-Apollo Man-Crush questions until I start talking about Pistol Pete. Thanks for writing, though, Todd. That painting you gave me was a gift and I'm taking it with me when I leave.

Moore, E-mail:
When will you stop calling Jake Plummer "The Mistake" in your NFL columns? He's proven how good he is this year and as a Broncos fan I'm sick of the jokes.--Paul, Denver

Moore Sports: I'll stop calling him "The Mistake" as soon as he doesn't make one in a big situation. And you can't point to the Patriots game on Saturday as him not making one. He just didn't have a chance to screw it up. When most of your scoring drives start because of turnovers and you get short field to work with and your coach has more shackles around you than Napoleon after he was exiled the second time to St. Helena, then you're not a great pro-QB. See, Shanahan thought Plummer was just a diamond in the rough out there in Arizona, but learned too often last year you can't hand the keys of the offense over to a Snake. Shanie's managed him well and for not screwing that up, Plummer should be commended. I feel for you as a fan, because you're about to be burned at least once or twice in the coming weeks.

He has a decent season and all the sudden he's making a bigger comeback than John Travolta in Pulp Fiction. 

Moore, E-mail:
That's fine. We'll see. You were wrong about my Longhorns and you are wrong about Plummer and the Broncos.--Paul, Denver

Moore Sports: Back again, eh? I'm not going to lie, I've never been to Denver and I certainly don't want to offend you. It appears as though you've been scorned by me twice in the past couple months with Jake and with Texas. As I stated before, I was wrong about the prediction I made on the game, but my thoughts and comments were correct at the time. Before the Rose Bowl, Mack Brown hadn't really won a big game. He'd made terrible decisions and Texas hadn't been challenged. USC on the other hand, had survived 34 straight games, a couple National Championships and two Heisman Trophy winner coached by the equivalent of the "Guy With A Running Hot Hand" at the craps table, a.k.a. Pete Carroll. So at the time, my views were right. I was wrong about my outcome, as were many. But I'll get the last word: Chris Simms. That's all I'm saying.

Moore, E-mail: Colts Fans
Is there anything worse for a Colts fan than the final minutes of Sunday's game? Jerome Bettis fumbles and it's recovered by a guy who was coveniently stabbed in the leg by his wife the night before, allowing him to be tackled by a QB with a knee that was surgically repaired a mere two months ago, all leading to a missed field goal from the most accurate kicker in the history of the NFL. I'm inconsolable at this point.--Matt, Indy

Moore Sports: Being from Indy (and living in a suburb of the city), I must say it definitely felt gloom around town. Even though I'm a Bears fan, I can somewhat relate to the pain of the loss on that level being a Red Sox fan as well. After the Stomach Punches I took following Game 7 of the '03 ALCS, I can certainly "feel" your pain. You wonder if you'll ever get there. You wonder if you can take another loss like that next year. And for that, I say, welcome to the club. Now you're a real Sports fan.

And I'll say this about that particular sequence of events. Never before have I thought the impossible was more possible and yet still improbable than I did when that happened. Harper being the guy to pick up the fumble AND NOT RUN TO THE SIDELINE should have been Colts fans' first clue. You had to know that James would fumble, Manning would throw a pick, Dungy would make a bad play call or Vandy would miss that kick. That's just what you've come to expect. Like fans of the Cubs, pre-WS Red Sox, Seahawks, Clippers, Bengals and Browns, you're basically waiting for the "Other Shoe" to finally drop.

Moore, E-mail:
I know they ended up getting a touchdown out of it, but what the heck's with Manning waving off Dungy when the punt team came out in the 4th quarter?--Jeff, Indy

Moore Sports: Contrary to popular belief, I'm not a Manning-hater. I just think he's going to be judged, as all Sports Superstars are, on the number of championships he gets/his failures in big games. As I mentioned the other day, Elway had the same problem until the Broncos won a championship. They still talk about Marino's inability to win won. It's the Sports environment in which we live.

That being said, I can't believe Dungy let him get away with it. The whole episode furthered my belief that Peyton's just a whiney spoiled kid who gets what he wants. It's like a parent saying, "Time for dinner, come in" and the kid going, "NO! I'm playing and I'm going to keep playing!" Can you imagine if Belichick and Brady had that situation? Cowher and Roethlisberger? Holmgren and Hasselbeck? Plummer and Shanahan? Ok, that last one was a cheap shot. But seriously, none of those guys would have ever done that and I don't care if they ended up getting a touchdown--it makes Dungy look even worse. If you're a Colts player, who do you think really calls the shots?

Here are some facts on Manning, with credit to Joe Posnanski of the Kansas City Star. Manning's got leading every statistical category for his age: 33,000 passing yards, 244 TD, best regular season record in the NFL over the last four years, but he's just 1-4 in the Divisional and Conference Championship rounds of the playoffs. We all know he was great at Tennessee, only losing six games, but three of them to Florida and never won a National Title. He leaves and Tee Martin delivers the goods to Vols fans. Tee Martin, people.

Going back further to Newman H.S. in New Orleans, he lost only five games--but three were in the Louisiana State Playoffs, and had no titles. I'm not labeling Peyton, he's doing a fine job of that--especially when he throws his offensive line down the stairs.

Moore, E-mail:
What's a tougher trade: realizing you aren't getting equal value on a trade like Artest or Shaq or Manny or choosing between two good players--like say if two guys of equal value are on the table, who do you choose?

Moore Sports: As Brad Pitt shows us, it's probably deciding between two players of equal value. If Angelina Jolie's "trading up" from Jennifer Aniston, then we should all have Pitt making Sports trades. In fact, I think he should start running the Colts right now and pull a Brady-for-Manning trade.