In the last 96 hours, I've become a father, fought step throat, dealt with crazy neighbors and through it all did my best to get my sports fix. On Thursday, I became a father to a beautiful baby girl that my wife and I named Brielle (thankfully, she looks a lot like my wife). We also have a four year old son, Cole. I tell you this because the last four days have been, well, a little crazy.
Hello, my name is Bri. I'm a sports addict. This is the story of how I blended sports into the weekend my daughter was born.
Thursday, April 27, 2006My wife was induced for labor at 7:00 a.m., which meant we had to get up at 5:30. After some general proceedings, the doctor informed us we had a couple hours before the show really began. Thanks to the posh luxury hospital we choose, we had a flat screen TV with a DVD player in a room bigger than Donald Trump's vault. Thanks to my father-in-law, we had the Billy Bob Thorton remake of Bad News Bears .
Is there anyone more qualified than Thorton to assume the role of Buttermaker? That movie so wrong, you can't help but laugh.
Halfway through the movie, my wife grabbed her bed and my hand so hard I have a small scar from my wedding ring being gouged into my fingers. Um, nurse, we're ready for the epidural.
One short hour later, our baby was here-and my life was forever changed.
Fast forward through the whirlwind family visits and we were relatively calm in the post-delivery room, still posh and complete with internet access. As my wife and daughter went off to sleep, I thought it would be a good time to check out the NBA Playoffs. Bad idea.
When I finally wore down near midnight, I shut off the TV and settled into my less than cozy chair.
Twenty minutes into dreamland, my daughter gave me my first wake-up call. First lesson-sleep when the baby sleeps.
Friday, April 28, 2006
Day one with our new daughter produced more whirlwind family visits and our son Cole getting strep throat. As my wife and I tried to get the hang of things, I secretly kept checking playoff scores and NFL Draft prognostications.
This time, I learned my lesson. I slept when they slept. But since they were awake, I was able to watch the Lakers take a 2 games-to-one lead over the Phoenix Suns.
So here's my take: if the argument surrounding Kobe Bryant not being MVP was that he didn't make his team mates better, what does his performance in this series do to that? 17 points and 7 assists, with all other Laker starters in double figures. Certainly seems MVP-esque.
MVP is an objectionable prize, broken down by not just stats, but intangibles. We want and ask for certain things from the front-runners, but we still manipulate the facts and figures to our liking. I don't know the answer to the MVP questions, but I do know that Kobe's made a point-and with that posterizing dunk on Nash in Wednesday's Game 2, a very big point.
How about a little credit to Phil Jackson? Sure, Jackson always has the best players to win his titles with, but how about the 1994 season without Michael Jordan? Or this Zen-like approach to the Suns in these playoffs? Let's hope P-Jax writes a book about it.
Saturday, April 29, 2006
We got to leave the hospital with our little bundle of joy, but not until mid-afternoon. Which meant my daughter and I had some quality time watching the NFL Draft together. Naturally, she slept. It won't be the last time she gets bored and falls asleep with daddy watching sports.
I'll share this with her someday, that she got her first taste of the NFL by sleeping through the Texans making one of the biggest draft day mistakes in recent history. As I enjoyed her resting comfortably on my chest, I sat stunned and intrigued that Houston actually picked Mario Williams first, letting Bush go to the Saints at number 2.
Has the NFL become so self-involved and over-analyzing that teams really create flaws in players deemed too good to be true? What was once questionable about Vince Young was his ability to escape would-be tacklers at the professional level. With time that passed. But I actually heard people say this was something Bush would have trouble doing in the NFL as well.
Of course, we can't know until we see Bush play-the same could be said about Young-but Bush has the ability to play no less than four positions in the NFL, and play each now. Then there's the fact that for the better part of two seasons at USC, no one could lay a hand on him.
It made me sick. Well, not really-but I did get strep throat late Saturday night.
Sunday, April 30, 2006
My wife and I are in the midst of buying a house-a process that can't end fast enough. We have, to my knowledge, the worst neighbors in the history of apartment life. It's like their entire existence is spent listening to weird music at obscene levels at all hours of the night.
Naturally, they choose Saturday night to have some fun with the speakers. My wife couldn't sleep because the baby is hungry ALL THE TIME. Seriously, newborns should come with a warning label. The baby is like LenDale White in the off-season.
After a morning trip to the local sick-bay where I acquired some much needed anti-biotics and the obligatory "get some rest" prescription, I settled in for an afternoon of NBA Playoffs. The wife was fine with this, I didn't even ask. Well, maybe because she was sleeping.
I take what I can get. Welcome to the world, Brielle. And welcome to the sports world your daddy lives in.
With the way the NBA playoffs have started, what with the Clippers winning their first playoff game since 1993 and taking a 2-0 lead in it's series over the Nuggets, we've started the playoffs a little differently than normal. In addition to that, the Pacers, Wizards and Lakers are all playing each of their series tight. It looks like we've got some crashers on our hands. And if you're going to crash something, you've got to have rules-we learned that from Wedding Crashers last summer.
Using that as a guide, here's a list of rules for prospective Playoff Crashers.
Rule #1-"Never leave a fellow crasher behind."
Typically, the best two teams meet in the NBA Finals. It's hard to crash the playoffs, only a few have taken it as far as John Beckwith did: in 1999 the Knicks were only the second team to beat a 1-seed as an 8-seed (the Nuggets were the first in 1994 over the Sonics). The Knicks made the Finals, but fell to the Spurs in five games.
The point of a playoff crasher is to get in and have your fun-but when other crashers start to fall, you usually bow out gracefully. Non-biased fans want to see the best teams in the Finals, kind of like the NCAA Tournament.
Rule #6-"Do not sit in the corner and sulk. It draws attention in a negative way. Draw attention to yourself-but on your own terms."
So many teams oblige the higher seeds by bowing out early-usually by not playing very hard and then complaining about "officiating". Here's a note for these offenders: the officiating is terrible in the playoffs every year, in every sport-get used to it. Give us something we can use, an excuse like you were more focused on your college graduation ceremony or something.
A good Playoff Crasher will mold itself after some of the legends. The 1995 Rockets could be considered the Chazz Reingold of Playoff Crashers. That year the Rockets were defending champions (Sam Cassell, currently manning the Clippers, was the point guard on that team, too) but the sixth seed in the Western Conference. They beat the Jazz (60-22 overall) three games to two in the first round; then beat the Suns (59-23) four games to three and followed that up in the Western Finals by beating the Spurs (62-20 with league MVP David Robinson) in six games. They were 5-0 in elimination games that year. Rule #7-"Blend in by standing out" also applies here. Rule #20-"The older the better, the younger the better."
If you are a potential Playoff Crasher, it's best to be a veteran laden team or have a key veteran player that knows what to do in certain key situations. As previously mentioned, Sam Cassell's been to the playoffs with the Rockets, Nets, Timberwolves and Clippers. That's the player I want leading a group of guys like Elton Brand, Shaun Livingston, Chris Wilcox and Chris Kaman-playoff first-timers who, without proper guidance and support, would be making vacation plans in a week.
Robert Horry is always a good luck charm and I'm convinced that some team will hire him as an assistant coach in a few years, just in case. These veterans are here to remind everyone else that it's a long two months to the Larry O'Brien Trophy and they shouldn't get so excited so early-like Sack Lodge was to go quail hunting; don't be overly aggressive.
A young team-like the '95 Orlando Magic-can also work as a Playoff Crasher under this rule. The Magic were built for speed and comfort. A young Shaquille O'Neal and Penny Hardaway, supplemented by 3-D (Dennis Scott) and Nick Anderson made a run through the Eastern Conferences Michael Jordan-less Bulls, Knicks and upstart Indiana Pacers. The Magic ran out, you could say, in the Finals. Orlando's Nick Anderson couldn't close out Game 1 from the foul line, and after missing four free throws, Kenny Smith of the Rockets hit a three and sent the game to overtime. Anderson and the Magic were never the same-he broke Rule #22 of Playoff Crashing: "You have regulation to seal the deal. Period. No overtime. "
Rule #29-"Always be a team player. Everyone needs a little help now and again."
This applies to everyone in the playoffs-even Kobe Bryant. Most superstars need a little bit of help from their friends. They need a Vince Vaughn's Jeremy to play the role and take one for the team; be the big guy, the Babaganoosh. Michael had Scottie, but he also had a big shot from John Paxson or Steve Kerr. Clyde Drexler couldn't do it alone against Jordan and the Bulls in '92, but helped out Olajuwon in '95 with the Rockets. David Robinson needed Tim Duncan. Everybody's needed Robert Horry.
Rule #33-"Never go back your place".
As a Playoff Crasher, this rule becomes vastly important as the playoffs go on. Don't let it get to a seventh game against a team that should have already beaten you. They will do so in Game 7. The Pacers never learned this against the Bulls in the late 90's. The Kings forgot it against the Lakers in the 2003 Western Finals. Once you've got a team down 3-1 or 3-2, you better close it out.
So, Playoff Crashers-those are the rules, break them and you'll be outed at the reception. Good luck, and remember Rule #76-"No excuses. Play like a champion!"
I admit I love and miss the NBA of the 1980's. Magic and the Lakers against Bird and the Celtics, along with Michael's one-man show. Here we are, nearly twenty years removed from that time and the main gripe against the NBA is its lack of anything resembling the basketball most of its current fans grew up watching.
All is not lost. I think the NBA is slowly working its way back to that 80's vibe, with star players like LeBron James, Kobe Bryant, Dwyane Wade and star-studded teams like the Pistons. With that in mind, here are some early playoff awards, a.k.a. 'I Love the 80's: NBA Playoffs 2006'.
The "I Wanna Be Sedated" Award to the possibility of Spurs-Pistons Part Deux.
Sure, the 'Stones and the Spurs are fundamentally sound and team oriented-that's great, except it made for one of the most boring, un-exciting Finals in the past twenty-five years last season. The Finals were uglier and more frightening than the Tom Cruise-Katie Holmes era. With that in mind...
"Sweet Dreams Are Made of This" Award for Best Finals Match-up for fans and media to:Lakers-Cavs. With a match-up like this, the league and the fans would get exactly what they've longed for and the media would be able to write epic pieces about Kobe vs. LeBron. It would be a classic series between two superstars not seen truly since 1991's Magic vs. Michael. Hey, a guy can "dream" can't he?
Suns-Nets would offer scores like 130-122 in OT. It's the anti-2005 Finals. Just think of Jason Kidd against Steve Nash, the two best point guards (Chris Paul aside) in the NBA, going at each other. What would be the over/under on combined assists between the two of them? 30? 35? How about the amount of combined dunks from Shawn Marion and Vince Carter? J
ust a terrific potential series between two teams who run up and down the court like Steve Prefontaine--and have no interior presence what-so-ever.
Lakers-Heat-Why not just combine the 80's and the present? Miami Vice meets Showtime. Riley vs. Jackson. Is there a need to even point out the massive ratings boost the Finals would receive if it were Shaq and the Heat against Kobe and the Lakers? New Shaq sidekick against old Shaq sidekick. East coast L.A. vs. West coast L.A. I'd even hire the ringside announcers from Rocky IV to call this series. I can hear them now, as Shaq and Kobe stare each other down following Luke Walton assuming the old role of Kurt Rambis and tackling Dwyane Wade: " It's a gutter war!" In fact, if I'm running 'The Ocho' one day, I'm putting them as my number two announcing team, right behind Cotton McKnight and Pepper Brooks.
If the NBA wants to go NCAA Tournament/George Mason Cinderella on us, we could have Clippers-Wizards in the Finals. What better story than two former pathetic teams that are young and energetic; who entertain and can score. Give Gilbert Arenas a national stage in order for everyone to see him as the Top 10 player he is. Picture, if you dare, Sam Cassell doing the 'Giant Gonads' dance after a big fourth quarter three. Now that's fan-tastic.
"The Future's So Bright, I Gotta Wear Shades" Award to LeBron James for Best New Artist.
On Saturday, I thought I saw a reincarnation of Magic Johnson and Michael Jordan in the body of one LeBron James. Never heard of him before, but apparently the kid can play basketball. He's the first person since Bird or Magic that has an actual chance to average a triple-double at some point in his career. But these playoffs are really about his chance to make 'The Jump' to another level, that being success in the postseason. He handles the ball; he rebounds; he passes-oh, and he scores. The way he changes pace and his court vision are the primary reason that King James was able to drop a 32-11-11 triple double. With perspective, all it did was give the Cavs a 1-0 series lead against the Wiz, so this wasn't Magic against the Sixers in the '80 Finals-but it's a great way to start. James also won the "You Can Do Magic" Award by the band America in a similar category.
The "Dancing With Myself" Award to Kobe Bryant in the Lakers-Suns Series.
As a Lakers fan, I'm dreading this series if Kobe doesn't start being Kobe-like Kevin being forced to bunk with Wet-The-Bed-Cousin Fuller in Home Alone 2. This could go one of two ways-the Lakers are either getting blown out of the water or winning this series. Think about it: do you want to let Kobe get to a seventh game? Me neither. And why? Because he's put up 39, 37, 51 and 43 against Phoenix this season.
But on Sunday, with the Lakers trailing throughout the game, keeping it close throughout, I was surprised to see Kobe defer to team mates Luke Walton and Lamar Odom-which hasn't been done since those two were in college. C'mon Kobe, don't think you're fooling us-we all know you're "Hungry Like The Wolf."
The "Everybody Wants to Rule the World" Award to David Stern for the NBA's outdated and useless playoff rules.
Stern rules the NBA with an iron fist not seen since Stalin. He's certainly the supreme ruler of the NBA and we get that. But can someone explain to me why the playoff seeding formula is more difficult to figure out than the math equations from Good Will Hunting? The Clippers absolutely tank its last couple games, drop to the sixth seed, but host a playoff series against a divisional champ with a worse record? In the words of Dr. Evil, "Rrriiiigggghhhttt." Ditch the division winner ranks ahead of regular season record stuff, pronto.
Plus, if the playoffs were any longer, we'd be staring at an end date of mid-July. Seriously, my daughter was in the womb for shorter than this-TNT's got 7 games in 7 weeks after the first round is over. One of the NBA's worst moves with regard to the playoffs was making the first round a seven game series. There's a lost sense of urgency in the 7-7-7-7 format. Theoretically, a team could play 28 playoff games-that's not a playoff, that's more than a third of the regular season.
The "Every Rose Has Its Thorn" Award to the Pistons for "most unlikely but likely happening" in the playoffs.
Simply put, the Pistons have gone over three full NBA seasons without losing one major starter or role player to injury. That's over 300 games without being bitten by the injury bug (while benefiting heavily from an injury to Karl Malone in 2004 and Dywane Wade last year). Stuff like that doesn't happen in the NBA for this long, so guess what? The basketball Gods seem to really enjoy music from the '70's. Their favorite song? Instant Karma, of course.
"We're doing some soul searching ourselves right now. To the best of my knowledge no one has ever had a Heisman Trophy revoked,"--Rob Whalen, Director of Heisman Trophy Trust.
This is the reaction of the director of the Heisman Trophy Trust. Because of a new investigation of the Pac-10 that will look into allegations that USC running back Reggie Bush's family lived in a house set-up by a potential agent last year, there is talk that Bush will be forced to give back the Heisman Trophy.
Obviously, if and only if, these allegations turn out to be true, then Bush certainly won't be looked at in the same manner-and USC would possibly be forced to forfeit their wins from last season.
Bush will get to move on to NFL millions and possible superstardom as one of the top picks in the NFL Draft, while USC will simply wait and will have an investigation looming over the post Leinart-Bush Era.
Suddenly, if true, this makes Pete Carroll not quite so squeaky clean as a fun-loving college coach.
That's a worst case scenario, if all these accusations are true.
Either way, I don't know what the Heisman Trophy Trust has to do with it. Why do they care? Since when did the Heisman Trophy get on a high horse?
Isn't this the same organization that profits every year by large donations, national and worldwide media attention and has a voting process that takes longer to discern the winner than Bush v. Gore?
I guess the Heisman Trophy Trust expects us to believe that no one ever cheated to win the Heisman-or that voters didn't vote begrudgingly or with any kind of agenda.
Whalen continued his statement by saying the Trust would " see what happens and how this plays out."
Um, can I ask why? Did you see how Gino Torretta panned out as an NFL quarterback? Don't you have a laundry list of NFL busts like him? Aren't there criminals and addicts who won your trophy-even one who was an accused murder? Didn't O.J. eventually sell off his Heisman?
Don't talk to us about the character of the Heisman Trophy-nearly a quarter of the winners from the past twenty-five years are selling insurance or working at the local Shell.
Why not just say that there isn't anything that will make you revoke Bush being the 2005 Heisman winner, because the Trophy has nothing to do with NCAA regulations and never has-it's about the most talented and popular athlete in the country every year. The Heisman isn't even really endorsed by the NCAA officially, is it? So why do you care? Because you've got Texas fans that've got nothing better to do than scream for Vince Young to win?
Based on the Rose Bowl game, sure-but based on an entire season, no. And if you're looking for the right back-up winner, this isn't like Miss America-there are skeletons in probably all of their closets, whether it's for illegal contact with agents, classes or grades in general.
I'm not condoning Bush or his family accepting this-with or without USC knowledge-but I've got a problem when the snooty Heisman people try to act innocent in the corruption that is college football. I've got a problem when an organization that supports a winner and sings his praises decides only later that someone isn't worthy of "their" award.
This is life-we don't get redo's, we don't get mulligans and there are no do-over's. You give an award, as you can see with past winners, it sticks. The investigation hasn't even begun-nor is it guaranteed to prove or find anything, but Bush is already being called upon to turn over Mr. Heisman.
Though I'm sure that club president Judge Smails and the other Heisman Trust members believe they're entitled to take back whatever they want whenever they want; but this isn't a Lexus-it's just a Trophy that really doesn't mean all that much in the grand scheme anyway.
Leave the trophy where it's at-you've done it every other time it's been disgraced.
Coming off the massive disappointment of somehow missing out on National High Five Day on Thursday-yes, I went without knowing about it and without so much as a "low-five"-I'm in an interesting frame of mind. The weekend is upon us, I found out my wife is being induced to have our daughter next Thursday and the NBA playoffs are here, so I'm happy. But there's nothing that will get me "riled" up more than Pat Riley.
For some strange reason (or multiple ones), I can't stand the head coach of the Miami Heat.
This in itself is amazing, considering the Los Angeles Lakers are my favorite team; I still salivate over footage from the Showtime Lakers of the 80's, of which Riley was the architect of.
In a way, Riley is everything 80's-even still-from the suits, to the hair right down to the yuppie attitude.
After forcing out Stan Van Gundy (whom we haven't heard from since he left the Heat and can now be presumed to be lost in the Bermuda Triangle), Riley took over as Heat coach on "an interim basis". In January, he went went so far as to say he wouldn't coach past this year.
But yesterday, through a spokesman, he announced he's returning to the Heat bench for the '06-'07 season.
Look, I understand he was tending to his ailing mother-and I wish the Riley family the best-but you tell everyone your coaching back to coach through a spokesman, after indicating heavily back in December that it was most likely a short term gig, that you would look for someone long term?
The way Riles announced it reminds me of an episode of The Office. Steve Carell was trying to help Dwight prepare for a speech and he was explaining sometimes it's not what you say, but when and how you say it. It prompted Dwight to announce to the office that Brad Pitt had been killed in a horrifying car accident. Softly, before leaving the room, he also said that the bonuses promised to everyone weren't happening. No one asked about it, they all were too worried about Brad Pitt.
That's how Riley did it, how he's always done it, with trickery. It's always been a magic act with Pat Riley. Don't pay attention to the right hand while he's doing something with the left. The Heat are on the verge of the playoffs, possibly their best chance to win a title ever. Riley was gone tending to family business, and Larry Brown was taking headlines for his disappearing act in New York, the MVP debate-boom-that's when Riley gets us, a little one sentence blurb from a spokesman; "oh, yeah, um, I'll be back next season."
If you don't believe this hasn't been planned with extreme effort and caution, you're sadly mistaken-and you'd be playing right into Riley's hands. From the moment he realized Shaquille O'Neal was available in the summer of 2004, Riley wanted in. He wanted Shaq, and then he wanted the sideline. But you can't do that all at once-it has to be planned.
Or you could be forgetting that Riley could sell a ketchup popsicle to a woman in white gloves. He's the ultimate motivator, the button pusher and 80's yuppie. He's the Gordon Gecko of coaching, and the NBA is his Wall Street.
He's so good, he even convinced Stan the Man to smile and defend you as he quit. He even got Stan to disappear.
First, land Shaq, then, somewhere down the road; oust Van Gundy by using back channels with the players you brought in and the media to undermine his authority. Heck, float a rumor in the dead of summer, just to see what the reaction is.
Let yourself be quoted saying something like, "I may take a little bit more of an active, I think, participation in some of the things, but for the most part I'm content at doing what I'm doing." Then, when the time presents itself, whisper in Van Gundy's ear about "family" and "pressure". For a top-off, act shocked that Van Gundy resigned. Five months later, announce your coming back for another season on the bench. It's masterful; it's brilliant.
If that's not how it happened, he must have had some dirt on Stan being a double for Ron Jeremy, threatened to expose him and that was that.
See, Van Gundy was on the verge of making Riley obsolete; forgotten. In just two seasons as Heat head coach, Van Gundy had won 17 postseason games, 2nd all-time in Heat history to only Riley's 18. His postseason and regular season win percentages, .605, are Miami's best all-time. Riles can't have that-he's a legend, remember?
Now what I want to know is why doesn't Riley just admit who he is and take a little credit for it-c'mon, it is impressive. Just tell us the truth, Riles, you know you want to. Maybe if you come clean about this scheme, you'll get some belated high fives.
UPDATE: Since this was posted, Pat Riley's mother has passed away. With deepest simpathies to him and his family, let me clarify this is not a personal attack on Riley during this difficult time, just my assessment of the way he's handled his position with the Heat.