I'm back for Round 2, nearly two hours after I started on my first post. In the words of Marcia Brady, "something suddenly came up."

I was meandering through the blogs and reading up on the NBA Playoffs. On FOX Sports' main page, the lead story was about the Heat-Nets. Apparently, the Heat won 103-92. Let me take this moment to stand up and applaud.

Alright, I'm done.

What is it about the NBA Playoffs? Why is it that watching one of the most exciting young players, Dwayne Wade, dribble, drive and score doesn't appeal to me? Why is it that I can't sit through 10 minutes of a legendary center throwing down dunks, or seeing Jason Kidd make lightning quick passes and lock down defenders? I can't even sit through nailbiters like LA-Phoenix. When the whole sports world was buzzing with the Lakers-Suns last weekend, I was more anxious to see how bad the Cardinals would pound on the Marlins in Miami. In fact, I watched a whole minute of that game before I laughed out loud at how big of a bust it was.

I haven't sat through an entire NBA Playoff game since 1998. I haven't sat through a regular season game since Michael Jordan came back for the first time 11 years ago. Oh, sure I'll watch the occasional LeBron James masterpiece, and I'll always set aside a few minutes for a 45-foot desperation 3-pointer by Gilbert Arenas, but it doesn't captivate me. Here's the flip side to that.

I just got done sitting through an agonizing episode of "Parental Control." If you don't know what that is, it's a "reality" dating show on MTV where two parents, frustrated by their son or daughter's mate, sift through contestants and look for two good ones to replace the one they don't like. The two guys go on dates while the boyfriend or girlfriend watches on, and they speak rudely and crass to the parents while cracking unfunny jokes. It's so put-on, but I can't turn away. It's just like the other crappy dating shows on MTV. I hate these people, I know it's scripted, it's not funny and if they are real, they are some of the most shallow and empty human beings on the planet, and MTV flaunts them off.

I can't watch the real drama of the NBA Playoffs. The commercials with the players getting riled up, LeBron throwing the powder up into the air and the catchy hip hop on a loop doesn't get me amped, but seeing an average looking blonde fake her way through a date does. And it's not that I don't like basketball, I love it. But for some reason, I'm not drawn to Steve Nash carving up defenses like I am to a guy dating a girl's mom. Is it the NBA's fault, or am I just becoming one of the 21st century sports fans that has become trained to enjoy the scripted "reality" shows that offers more drama and evokes more feelings. The numbers may be up slightly, but they aren't reaching the average fan like myself. 

It's up to the NBA to fix this. FOX has it figured out with "America Idol," MTV has it figured out with "The Real World," now it's up to YOU to figure it out with the playoffs. You have the star power, the money, the network and the drama, now make the average fan want to care again.

Hello, kids.

Let me paint a picture for you. It's a bleak one.

It's 12:39 a.m. I'm laying on my bed in front of my laptop watching the FSN Baseball Report. I have a movie review due for class in less than 24 hours, and I'm writing the whole thing from memory. I have a psychology final in less than 72 hours. I have an art final a few hours before that, but is that really important? Plus, I have a nagging finance final due before 3 p.m. on Monday. There's probably something else to do still, but I'm putting it off for as long as I can. Besides, I have a district baseball game to cover tomorrow.

I'm tired, I'm thirsty and I'm stressed out. It's a terrible combination. I wasted an hour of my life at a sports banquet tonight. Thrilling isn't it?

So where are we at? I have a lot of schoolwork, a lot of work work and I'm in a nasty mood because I'm feeling dehydrated and I spent time with kids who I thought I had gotten away from two years ago. But there was a shiny sliver of hope that burst through the gray clouds that have become a permanent resident in the state of Missouri. They were two beautiful words, perhaps the simplest and most maginificent words that man has put together in the English language. Two words that are synonymous with each other and have blended together to make poetry:

Cubs lose.

That's right, the Chicago Cubs lost. It wasn't just a tiny loss, it was a blowout. Those are my favorites. Seeing Cub fan twist in the wind and beat him/herself up over an agonizing loss is just what I needed to perk my evening. For a moment, I forgot that I have a long weekend ahead. I forgot all my troubles for just one second when that beautiful ticker flashed  "SD 10 CHI 5." It was as if God was saying "Cheer up, buddy, there's still the Cubs."

There's still the Cubs indeed. Any time I'm feeling down about the Cardinals losing, or just upset at one of life's great swerves, a Cubs loss cheers me up, if only for a second. Sure it doesn't sound good that I derive happiness from seeing fans of another team down in the dumps about their own team, but before you judge, ask yourself if you don't get just an extra spring in that step when you see your hated rival lose. I do, and I'm not ashamed to admit it.

"But, Ryan," you say, "the Cardinals won! Can't you just be happy with that?"

Well, yeah, but it was another unflattering start by Mark Mulder, Albert Pujols only got one hit, John Rodriguez's average sunk below .400, Jason Isringhausen allowed a run after tossing back-to-back perfect innings and Scott Rolen did not have a hit. There were some bright spots. Jim Edmonds cranked a home run, Brad Thompson continued to defy MLB rules and pitch at the age of 13 (and brilliantly I might add). But it was the Diamondbacks, and here's the big one: Jason Marquis throws tomorrow. That's enough to make a Cardinal fan completely skip the game and immerse him/herself in something way more exciting like watching a "Real World" marathon. In fact, I slept through his last start. That was a blast. Here's what he has done in his last four starts:

22.2 IP, 33 H, 22 ER, 13 BB, 8 K, 7 HR

8.91 ERA, 2.07 WHIP, 3.24 K/9, 13.37 H/9

This is why the Cubs losing puts me from a bad mood to a semi-bad mood. Yes, the Cardinals won tonight, but they are not going to tomorrow. Reading "Cubs lose 12 out of past 14" and seeing Glendon Rusch's ERA reach Rick Helling heights is enough to make me forget the pesky homework and heartbreaking loss that is sure to cloudy up my Saturday.