Josh Q. Public:  It's simple (so simple) eliminate you like Gotti.  I chill in Bed-Stuy and drive a Mazzeratti.  -3rd Bass

Public Service Announcement:  OK, here we go!  NASCAR, baby.  NASCAR.  It's the life!  There's King James.  There's King Felix.  There's the King of Rock-n-Roll.  But in NASCAR, there is only one King.  Long live the King.  King Richard Petty.  Here comes the King, here comes the Big Number One.  Richard Petty is here, he's second to none.  Richard Petty.  King Richard.  The goddamned best driver of all time.  The only driver that can make me rhyme.  Won so much it should be a crime.  Baby he can drive my car.  Toot toot ya!  Hell ya.  Driving good ole number forty-three.  Driving with such ferocity.  Velocity.  Monstrosity.  Wayne Gretzky monstrosity.  Joe DiMaggio monstrosity.  Wilt Chamberlin monstrosity.  Record breaking monstrosity.  Records that will never be broken.  Records that can only be spoken.  On the track, this cat was smokin'.  Smokin to 127 pole positions.  Smokin' to the most wins in one season:  twenty-seven.  Smokin to seven NASCAR Winston Cup Championships.  Smokin' to a record winning 200 races during his career.  Smokin' to the most consecutive wins:  ten.  Smokin to the most wins from the pole:  sixty-one.  Smokin to the most wins from the pole in one season:  fifteen.  And of course, smokin' to winning the prestigious Daytona 500 an incredible total of seven times during his career.  Yowza!  This cat's untouchable.  So clutchable.  That's why we love him so muchable.  Hands on the wheels, cruising down the interstate.  Gas pedal sticks carries my car away, I was going as fast as a Rambler goes.  I could feel the speed from my head to my toes.  Now I know how Richard Petty feels.  No I don't.  I never was in Stroker Ace.  I never was one of eight drivers in NASCAR history to win a Career Grand Slam.  I never was chosen as the best driver ever on ESPN Classic's Who's No. 1?  I never had an NBA player wear my number, a la Brad Daugherty.  I was never awarded the Medal of Freedom.  I was never King of the race track.  All hail the King.  All hail King Richard Petty.

Peace out homies.  Six Two and Even!