Die Hard is on, so I'm a little tied up ... but let's just toss this out there "Story": Ron Artest wants to be traded. Truth: If prodded, I'm sure about 33% of athletes would say they too would like to be traded. Why should anyone care that Ron wants out? This story gets more laughable by the minute. The Pacers claimed they were through with him, so they put him on the trading block. Indians claims that 20 teams had inquired. Strangely, nothing is done, or even close to being done. Here's the secret: Nothing is getting done. Artest is too a player making too little money to be dealt. Why would the Pacers - an Eastern Conference contender at the start of the season - want to get ripped off and jeopardize the future of the franchise because some petulant punk wants out? What happened was that Pacers brass got in touch with Artest's agent and said, "This isn't happening, we're not getting ripped off. Ron can shape up or sit out." So Artest's agent sat Ron Ron down, told him that he wasn't getting traded, and that the best strategy would be to make up with his team and teammates. Good luck, Ronnie. "Story": Roger Clemens may be on the Red Sox in 2006. Truth: Or it could be the Yankees. Or the Astros. Or the Rangers. Any way you slice it, all we've got is speculation - for something five months away. That may or may not happen. Clemens may just retire. He may play. Anything he says now will be meaningless, since we are talking about a man who has "retired" once already. Wake me when he signs something. "Story": Fred Smoot wants to clean up his imagine. Truth: This is like saying Paris Hilton wants to be a serious actress. Smooth was among the ringleaders in the party boat scandal. If memory serves, he proclaimed himself such a great trash talker in college, it spawned a website. I suppose he can only improve his image, but telling it to the media? Why? What's the point?