It seems like everyone these days has a complaint or seven about Pocono and its Baja 1000-like marathon race days.  Unfortunately, the track combines the great elements of exciting racing -- speeds in excess of 200 miles per hour, heavy braking zones that can ruin someone's day with nothing more than a simple locked-up wheel, a unique shape, varied turn radii and banking -- but combines them in a way that essentially creates a perfect storm of boredom. 

First of all, usually one or two guys can find a really good setup.  Second, the weather in the Pocono Mountains can change quicker than a schizophrenic under extreme duress.  And the track is viciously large, meaning it can be a long time before a leader gets mired in lapped traffic and allows others to catch up.  We're talking about a place where lap times exceed 50 seconds by a long shot.

Someone had to do it.  Someone had to come up with a way to make the race more exciting.  So here's my list -- and it will not include "shorten the race to 400 miles."

1) Turn loose a roving pack of two dozen white-tail deer on the racing surface.  PETA may not be happy with you, but it would make a three-wide battle for 31st position down the Long Pond straightaway a lot more exciting.

2) Land mines in the tunnel turn.  As if this wasn't one of the most difficult turns in NASCAR already.

3) Make half the field run clockwise.  And then, at the midpoint of the race, make all drivers reverse their current direction.  Under green.

4) The top-12 drivers in points have to race blindfolded.  In Kyle Busch's case, he may wreck fewer drivers than normal.

5) Two-drink minimum at the drivers' meeting.

6) Le Mans-style dash to the cars when the green flag drops.  Throw in "dizzy bats" and it would put a whole new twist on the phrase, "running start."

If NASCAR isn't down with these ideas, then they can always do something...I don't know...logical?  The aforementioned shortened race distance is a good start, but the length of the race isn't the problem.  The perceived lack of competition is.  Shrink the fuel cell, use softer tires, etc. 

Or maybe -- just maybe -- the fans can start to appreciate that Pocono is truly a driver's race track.  It's a place where the cream rises to the top, similar to places like Darlington, Dover and Phoenix.  These are places that are unique, and require the driver to learn how to race the track first, and the competition second -- like the good, old days, when men were men and racing was about who could conquer a unique and adverse day, not just get an optimally prepared car to perform on an optimally configured, cookie-cutter race track.  Pocono is a place where a gifted driver can take an average car and look like a god for a day.