Brainfart France appreciates his East Coast fans and starts the race at a decent hour.

Nice road course.
 
Who is that crazy drunk guy down front yellin for Rowdy?  I've got to go meet him.
 
NASCAR hands out ear plugs for free to every single fan in the stands.  No, not for the car noise.  Preventative pain measures for the National Anthem.  Just in case.  (last week was horrid!)
 
Digger gets ran over, for good, this time.
 
Dale Jr. has a new crew chief.
 
Scott Speed takes out half the field with 10 laps to go and he is heard on his radio transmission saying he's innocent.  DW believes him.
 
In an exciting turn of events, Kyle Busch is leading the race.  We don't get to see this everyday, folks!
 
Jimmie Johnson shaved.
 
Mark Martin retires.
 
Weep no more!  The weepers are back.
 
Lisa tried the betting on NASCAR idea and made some new friends this weekend, I think she called them bondsmen.  
 
It was a caution free race.
 
CR_Racing wins the Trifecta.
 
Chris Myers gets the boot.
 
While in Victory Lane, Wrench Wizzard shoots video of Joey Logano and he is enjoying the sliced bread with some crow on the side.
 
Feel free to add your own!

I read a report by Mr. Larry Woods from the Nasville City Paper today about this extremely absurd lawsuit against NASCAR.  Check it out:

"Just when you think you've heard it all:

An inmate in federal prison has filed a $23 million lawsuit claiming NASCAR is responsible for his laundry list of criminal activity, from speeding to credit card fraud.

Jonathan Lee Riches filed suit in U.S. District Court in Richmond, Va., stating that watching races "influenced him to speed ... doing 135 mph and getting tickets."

And that's not all. He said his NASCAR addiction caused him to use "illegally obtained credit cards to attend races," and once there, he used more stolen credit cards to purchase products hawked by race drivers.

"I used (Kyle) Petty's Discover Card to buy Mark Martin Viagra," states the tardy complaint. (Viagra no longer sponsors Martin's car.)

Riches said he bought race tickets using credit cards that he admitted were fraudulent, "but the defendants insisted they did not care and encouraged me to buy Budweiser beer and funnel cake with more stolen funds."

He concludes by claiming that Jeff Gordon's Dupont-sponsored car "poisoned me with Dupont chemicals. I pray this court will grant my motions for relief. I don't want to die in prison."

Shakespeare said it best: "A noble mind is here or'thrown."

(credit:  http://www.nashvillecitypaper.com/news.php?viewStory=66199)

So, I started doing a little research on this crazy inmate.  Here are two more recent suits I found:

From the Crime Scene section in the KansasCity.com paper, we have:

Longtime pro-se litigant Jonathan Lee Riches, who's Internet-famous for his numerous suits against Britney Spears, Bill Gates and others, now claims that Madoff ripped him off, too.

In his motion, Mr. Riches alleges that Mr. Madoff took money from him and other inmates promising a 16.8 percent return, but then transferred the funds to a "Swiss account Ponzi."

Mr. Riches, however, raised red flags about the veracity of his allegation, claiming that he met Mr. Madoff in 2001 via the online dating site eHarmony.com and that the two had an "intimate relationship." Among other things, eHarmony has refused until this year to match same-sex couples.

(credit:  http://blogs.kansascity.com/crime_scene/2009/01/jonathan-lee-ri.html)

And from the Albany Herald, we have this on Mr. (I Want) Riches:

"In one of the more odd suits, Jonathan Lee Riches, also known in court documents as Downadop Conflicker, is suing PCA, the Food and Drug Administration and the Centers for Disease Control after he says he was served tainted peanut butter as an inmate in a federal prison in Eastern Washington.

Riches claims that he got extremely ill after eating the peanut products and collected the tub that the peanut butter was scooped from as possible evidence.

Riches contends that prison doctors contacted federal officials at the CDC and the FDA after he got sick, but that no help was administered to him because he was an inmate.

Riches is suing for $3.5 million and a restraining order against PCA to stop the company from distributing more peanut butter to federal prisons."

(credit:  http://www.albanyherald.com/stories/20090214n1.htm)

After all that, I figured I've got a good handle on this gold digger.  Keep on keepin' on Mr. Riches.  Surely your boat will come in one day.  Or not.

What's your take?

Just a few musings.

Free this year .... DirecTV Hot Pass.  Who knew?  Nobody told me. I find out AFTER the Daytona 500.  Thanks. Alot. You. Are. Great. Friends.  Anybody watch this and check out Junior's channel?
 
Next up, emotional twist during the Daytona 500 ...er...380 (that's 152 laps times 2.5 miles, oh ok, you get it). 
 
I wrote a post about The King last week.  How cool it was to see Richard Petty Motorsports running 1-2-3 during the race.  They all finished in the top ten, with the famous #43 finishing 9th.  Super cool.  Loved A.J.'s spunk.

Double next up.  I present to you the Gillette Young Guns for 2009, with their career stats (sort of):
 
Denny Hamlin (7 races in 2005, full seasons in 2006, 2007, 2008)
Kyle Busch (6 races in 2004, full seasons in 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008)
Carl Edwards (13 races in 2004, full seasons in 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008)
Ryan Newman (7 races in 2001, full seasons in 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008)
Kasey Kahne (full season starting with 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008)
Clint Bowyer (1 race in 2005, full seasons in 2006, 2007, 2008)
 
So, where do they come up with the criteria to be a Gillette Young Gun?  Ryan Newman has drove for seven, yes SEVEN, full seasons.  Seriously - not what should be considered "young gun."  Oh, I'm sure Gillette is probably an associate sponsor or something for those teams, but really, I'm not buying what you're selling.
 
Triple next up - David Gilliland.

We all knew that David Gilliland was out of a ride after the Yates - Hall of Fame merger.  BUT, they said to us, we haven't let Gilly go yet, he is still under contract.  Today?  I read he will be driving the number 71 entry for TRG for the next four races.  WHOA.  When did Yates let him go?  Here are his stats, notice he did not race in the Daytona 500/380.
 
Year Starts Avg.Start Avg.Finish Provisionals %Completed Points Winnings
2008 36      29.8      26.2           0              94.2%        3064 $3,764,090
2007 36      27.7      27.4           0              89.6%        2924 $4,330,840
2006 15      22.1      28.3           0              91.0%        1178 $1,521,450

(credit:  NASCAR.com)
 
Why is this guy getting another ride?  I see a disturbing trend with his stats above, his avg. start and avg. finish positions particularly.  I mean, give someone else a chance people!  Andy Lally, Kelly Bires, Cale Gale, Marc Davis, anybody!  The positive?  Slugger Labbe will be crew chief for these four races.
 
Moving on.

I will be bringing the Things You Won't Hear back shortly.  Hopefully. 

TONY STEWART

A/K/A

SMOKE!!

WILL WIN THE DAYTONA 500!

FINALLY ~ !!

Oh, I'm sorry, I thought we were talking about the Super Bowl of NASCAR around here.  The Daytona 500.

P.S.  GO CARDS!!

Disclaimer:  This was a joke, and only a joke, please do not pull the fire extinguisher lever, and immediately return to your desk jobs.  That means now.