Bam. Bam. Bam.

My eyes tried to open, made it about halfway, then closed again. Damn, those four or five tequilas from last night were still lingering. Okay, who am I kidding, it was more like four or five hours of tequila.

Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam.

'Who in the hell can that be,' I thought. I noticed the redhead as I struggled out of bed. 'Not bad, Hanner, almost a dime. I hope this isn't some jealous boyfriend beating on my front door.'

I looked out the peep hole, and lowered my gat, as I recognized that familiar scowl.

"C'mon in, Shaft," I slurred, while I was unlocking the door.

"What's up, Jim?" he started.

"Why are you beating down my door at the crack of noon?"

"I got some good news for you, cuz."

"All right, let's hear it, Cam."

"You know that female's case, the one where she wanted dude's cousin to disappear?"

"Yeah, Victoria Lane," I smiled, as I remembered her leaving my office three weeks ago. "Yeah, Dale Jr's cousin."

"It's done, man. Dude is buried," Shaft whispered.

"What? No, no, no. He wasn't supposed to get clipped," I nervously hissed back.

"Be cool, man. He's alive. He's buried in something called R&D."

I asked, "What the hell is R&D?"

"Let's just say that she won't be seeing the cousin around anymore," Shaft replied.

"All right, dude. How much is it gonna cost her," I queried.

"Five thousand."                    

" Okay Shaft, I'll call her and set up a meet to get the money for you."

Shaft made sure to tell me, "Cash is King, Homes. Ya feel me?"

"Yeah, yeah, I got it, man."

I let Shaft out, and grabbed some Gatorade and Motrin for my headache. Damn, I might have to upgrade this thing from hangover, to hangaround. Meanwhile, I might as well put that Private Investigations degree from the Devrie Institute to use, and go see how that redhead got tangled up in my sheets.

                                                    ****

I finally made it to my office around two, and looked up Victoria Lane's digits. I felt like a high school kid rehearsing what I was going to say before I called her. What is wrong with me?

I could feel my face flushing as I heard her phone ringing through the receiver. "Hello," she said.

"Hi, Miss Lane, this is Mike Hanner with some good news."

"Please call me Victoria."

"Okay. I have good news on the Dale Jr missing person case."

"That's wonderful," she purred.

And now, for some reason, my heart is pumping warm, melted butter through my veins. Great. Get a hold of yourself, man.

I composed myself and told her, "My friends have taken care of Dale Jr's cousin. He won't be the one keeping you two apart anymore."

"That is great news, Mr Hanner."

"Please, call me Mike. Can I meet you somewhere later to pick up the payment for my friends," I asked?

"Sure, just tell me when and where," she replied.

I started, "Well, a few of my informants in Foxtown have told me that Jr sometimes hangs out at a place called Whiskey River. So, I'm checking it out later tonight. We could meet there about..."

She interrupted me, "That's not a good idea. If Jr is there, I'd rather not see him on his turf. I'd rather him come see me. I really don't want him to know that I'm looking for him. I am a lady."

"Okay then. How about the west parking lot at South Park Mall at eight-thirty tonight?"

"Alright, I'll be there," she let me know.

"Good. The cousin disappearing is going to cost you ten thousand dollars, cash. Bring it in a manila envelope, and I'll have a detailed expense report for my first two weeks on the case. You can mail me a check for that," I told her.

                                                          ***

I saw her Mercedes as I rounded the back corner of the mall at 8:15. I pulled up beside her and rolled down the window of my El Camino.

"Sorry I'm late," I began.

"It's alright, I just got here myself."

"Look these parking lots have mobile guards and video cameras everywhere, let's make this handoff quick," I told her. "Here are my daily updates on the case and my expense reports."

She took them through the window, and handed me a 5x7 manila envelope that was stuffed like a small piece of carry on luggage.

I told her, "Thanks. I'm heading to Whiskey River to see if I can get a word with Dale. Sure you don't want to be my escort? Uh, not that I think you're an escort, or anything. Sorry, I meant, are you sure you don't want to go just to, maybe get a look at him."

"No, no I better not. I might get all emotional and start crying or something."

I left her with, "That's cool. I'll let you know what I find out at Whiskey River."

I flipped through the cache of hundred dollar bills in the envelope as I idled the Chevy through the parking lot towards Independence Boulevard. I turned left on Indy, and gunned the cherry bomb El Camino towards the Charlotte skyline.

If you missed part one, here's the link....

http://community.foxsports.com/blogs/Hanahan/2009/05/17/Mike_Hanner_Private_Eye

After becoming oversaturated, in more ways than one, last weekend in Charlotte, we find ourselves taking the long way to this week's races in Dover, DE.

We will cut through Han's old home front of S.E. Virginia, slide through, and across, the Chesapeake Bay Bridge Tunnel, negotiate the speed traps on the Eastern Shore, and land in Delaware at the racetrack and casino.

Strange that after all the rain at LMS, and a deserving first time winner, the one thing that will stick around the longest is David Reutimann's crew member, Bald Billy Bad But. Smile kid, Tony just made you famous. Get ready for all the free drinks, and challenges, in every bar from here to Sonoma.

A joyous Nation is overcome with emotion today, as Tony Eury Jr was replaced as Dale Earnhardt Jr's crew chief. Big shoes to fill as it will take at least two, and possibly more men to replace Eury. Brian Whitesell is in for a one week stint. Then, Lance McGrew gets his shot as *interim* crew chief.

Both of these guys have had success in the three major NASCAR series, winning races and championships with the likes of Brian Vickers, Kyle Busch, Mark Martin, and Jeff Gordon. Look for an amazing turnaround by the #88 car this week at Dover.

In other Earnhardt news, Jeffrey Earnhardt, Kerry's son, makes his national series debut on Saturday driving #31 in the Heluva Good! 200 NNS race.

Dover finally added a 43rd pit stall to their pit road. It's only been about 10 years since NASCAR went to 43 cars starting a race. They improved the pit road entrance----Matt Kenseth says, Thanks--- and added about four feet to each pit stall.

This Sunday will mark 17 years, to the day, since Harry Gant won at Dover, at the age of 52!

Some reports have Jeremy Mayfield's team closing shop, and no showing at Dover, while others say that Mayfield's team will be there. Admitting you have a problem is the first step.

NASCAR held their much ballyhooed 'town meetings' with the drivers and owners this past Tuesday. Mark Martin had an interesting take on NASCAR's refusal to give the drivers a list of their banned substances, "Leaving it open ended gives them more room to catch offenders." Doesn't every private citizen wish that our law enforcement agencies would adopt such a broad brush approach to deal with those under the influence, real and imagined.

No, Mark. Leaving it open ended doesn't help them catch more offenders. Leaving it open ended gives them some wiggle room when a 'star' comes up dirty.

Robby Gordon was caught with illegal parts after his third place finish Monday at LMS. He was docked 50 points and his crew chief was fined $50,000. This was a points paying race.

Meanwhile, the week before, privateer, Carl Long, was caught with illegal equipment while practicing for a non-points paying event and was docked 200 points, and his crew chief was fined $200,000. What's that old French quote about justice being equal, whether you sleep in a palace, or in the street?

I'm hearing a lot of rumors today concerning an upcoming Dale Earnhardt Jr crew chief change. The new chief could be in place as early as this week when the team gets to Dover.

Tony Eury Sr is the name being thrown around to step up to the Sprint Cup level for HMS (he currently chiefs the #88 NNS car for HMS). The interesting part is that Tony Eury *Jr* is Dale Jr's chief right now. How'd you like to be thrown out, and replaced by your old man? However, execs at HMS know how classless it would be to have a father replace an underperforming son.

So, unnamed sources are saying that Eury Sr will go, not to Dale Jr's team, but to Mark Martin's team. That would leave Martin's crew chief,  Alan Gustafson, to report for duty as Dale Jr's new man. Gustafson already has led Martin to two wins this year.

I  look for this new chemistry to help some.....Jr couldn't do much worse, could he? But, unless Chad Knaus is swapping teams, and coming to Jr, don't expect too much, Nation. In fact, I suggest coming up with some new suspects to blame Jr's struggles on.

Also hearing that Humpy Wheeler is going to be the new head man at Indy Motor Speedway. This would certainly be some welcome news for Indy NASCAR fans. Humpy has worked with tire companies in the past, and that may help him deal with Goodyear's troubles at the Brickyard.

Summer gets jump started this Sunday with automobile racing all over the globe. From Monaco, to Indy, to Charlotte, the crown jewels of motorsports venues will be under siege.

Formula-One, in Monaco, gets the green first, airing in the US early Sunday morning. Then the Indy 500 will be mid-day, and, with rain showers, will probably take us right up to the 50th Coca Cola 600 at Lowes Motor Speedway.

Last week's All Star race at LMS, was 90 laps of snooze, and 10 laps of bruise. Those last ten laps were fantastic, as a handful of drivers woke up and drove like they really wanted that one million bucks for winning.

Double file restarts among lead-lap cars made that race even more exciting. Now, NASCAR's Series Director, John Darby, claims that NASCAR has been 'studying' the double file restart for over a year. And that it could be used as early as this season in the Cup series.

How will NASCAR screw this up? It would be the easiest thing they could do that might improve sinking TV ratings. So, you just know that they will screw it up. My bet is that not only will they not use it in regular Cup races...they will take it out of the All-Star race. I'm not kidding.

Non-Chase regular, Carl Long was busted for an oversized engine before the All-Star prelim race last week. He, his owner (wife), and crew chief were all suspended for 12 weeks, docked 200 points (he had 0 points when he was caught), and his crew chief was fined $200,000.

Just how big was that monster motor? 358.17 cubic inches. What's the legal limit? 358 cubic inches. Long makes a race about as often as leap year comes around. So, what's the deal, NASCAR?

This is the first step in NASCAR's zero tollerance policy. It started when they overreacted to Jeremy Mayfield's drug test. So now they're acting like there is no gray area, in engine displacements, or 'banned' substances. You're either legal, or you're not. Look for Jeremy to back NASCAR down, like a Clemson grad backs a cow up to a stump.

Bill Elliott makes his 800th start in the 600, driving the Motorcraft #21 Ford. RL Carriers hauls Matt Kenseth along in the #17 on Sunday. David Starr tried to make the race in the #06 with Extenze. Must not have worked, as he came up short.

Jeff Gordon had a facet block procedure performed on his sore back earlier this week. Gordon won his first Cup race in the Coke 600, in 1994, with pit strategy, by taking....wait for it....Right Sides Only!

Dale Earnhardt Jr will be melting in the #5 Klondike car in the NNS race on Saturday at LMS. Others in the NNS race will be #81, Kevin Hamlin, in the Go 'Canes (NHL) car, and Danny O'Quinn will be in the Sun Drop #01. Sun Drop is from a local NC bottler, and was one of Dale Sr's long time sponsors.

This is a huge weekend for racing, parties, cookouts, family, and friends. Sometime during the weekend, please take a moment to remember what Memorial Day is all about. Those who serve, those who served and returned, and those that served and didn't return. Thanks to all the brave men and women who have kept the Land of the Free, free for over 200 years.

                          

It seems like each year I've come to recognize Memorial Day less as a three day party, and more as a time to remember the heroes who sacrificed so that we can be free to have three day parties.

No matter who we voted for, or who our favorite teams are, we are Americans first, last, and always. You can run down our favorite player, or our driver, but if you run down our flag, damnit, you'll have to leave.

Walter 'Bud' Moore was born in 1925, in Spartanburg, SC. He was part of the the largest invasion ever on June 6, 1944 when he splashed ashore at Utah Beach.

Imagine being a 19 year old country boy moving a couple of hundred yards through the cold sea water, into the face of withering enemy fire. Not questioning why me? Or, what am I doing here? Just doing  the right thing with no complaints.

Bud Moore would stay in Europe through the end of World War II. He followed Patton to Bastogne to rescue the 101st Airborne. Moore earned five Purple Hearts and two Bronze Stars for Valor.

Bud made it back to South Carolina, where he started racing dirt track cars in the late 1940s. He became a NASCAR Cup team owner in the late 1950s.

His team won two Cup championships, 1962, 1963, with Joe Weatherly driving. Bud Moore Engineering won 63 races with drivers such as Dale Earnhardt, Bobby Allison, Buddy Baker, and Ricky Rudd.

The multi-car teams of the 1990s were the beginning of the end for Moore, and his one-car team folded in 2001. He was inducted into the International Motorsports Hall of Fame earlier this year.

Bud Moore was the epitome of hard work, perseverance, class, and ingenuity. Whether at the race track, or on the battlefield. Thank you, Bud.