The stars and cars of NASCAR's Sprint Cup Series invade the rolling Irish Hills of Michigan this week for the Life Lock 400 at MIS. The track held its first race 40 years ago, on June, 15, 1969.

The new double-file restart rule helped make watching last week's race at Pocono tolerable. Hopefully, it will help this week also. MIS doesn't have as many cautions as Pocono, though. The record at MIS is 10 cautions, and that was a fluke. Five or six is more like it, with at least half being for 'debris'.

This weekend's race also marks the one year anniversary of Dale Earnhardt Jr's last win. A race won by ex-crew chief, Tony Eury Jr's stratedgy. These days, Eury Jr is harder to find than the #88's pit sign board.

Sunday is the 234th birthday of the U.S. Army, and the #39 of Ryan Newman will have a special paint theme in their honor. Newman has two wins at MIS.

Robby Gordon's #7 will be rocking with Jim Beam and Kid Rock on board. Kid is also the Grand Marshall and will give the command to start the engines. Gordon has no wins at MIS.

Reed Sorenson will not be foiled with Reynold's Wrap on his #43. The #1 of Martin Truex Jr will light it up with GE Reveal Light Bulbs. Matt Kenseth will be wearing Carhartt again on Sunday. Kenseth has two wins and 13 top-tens in 19 starts here.

Jimmie Johnson has never won at MIS and has only two top-5s in 14 races here. Kyle Busch has just one top-5 to show for his 8 MIS starts. Mike Waltrip has two top-5s.....in 47 starts.

Brian Vickers signed a long-term contract extension with Red Bull Racing earlier this week. Which may, or may not, squash rumors that Petty may merge with RBR, or take over Red Bull sponsorship.

Speculation is that RPM will switch to Toyota next year after Dodge cuts funding this summer. Change begins next month with RPM partnering with Toyota team, Braun Racing, for a handful of NNS races. This may be the final straw for some of our fellow bloggers. It was nice knowing you guys.

Chip Ganassi is rumored to be trying to sign Danica Patrick to drive a third car for his IRL team. Danica. Never, has someone, made so much, by doing, so little.

Kelly Bires is a young, up and coming driver trying to get a foothold in the world of NASCAR. Only 25, Bires started out in Late Models in his home state of Wisconsin. He was an ASA Rookie of the Year and series champ. He also has top 5 finishes in NNS and ARCA races.

In 2008, Bires ran every NNS race, and was 13th in the final point standings. The team changed manufacturers and underwent a major overhaul, leaving Bires without a full time ride this year.

Bires will drive the #33 Chevy for KHI in the NNS race this weekend in Kentucky. He came home in fourth place in the KHI Chevy earlier this year in Nashville.

Bires recently took some time out to answer a few questions regarding his career.

You're from Wisconsin, home of some great racers. Who was your racing hero growing up?

"Have to say Jeff Gordon. He was one I rooted for, until Matt Kenseth started making progress in the NASCAR world. Always have to root for your homestate drivers then."

You've driven for the Wood Bros, JTG, and now Kevin Harvick...who has done the most to advance your career?

"They all have been an important part and all have given me great opportunities to race and show my ablility in a car. I would have to say Wood Brothers and JTG, just because they gave me a shot as an unknown driver."

Which drivers do you seek out at the track, for advice?

"Mark Martin has always been a great help to me. He's the one I go to if I have a question or need advice for any situation I may come across."

You have a couple of races scheduled for later this year with KHI, this week at Kentucky, and later in Memphis. How about the rest of your schedule? Are you looking for more rides, or are you pretty much booked up for the rest of the year?

"I do have two more races for KHI, this weekend in KY and Memphis later in the year. I will also be running Iowa for Braun Racing. As of now, thats all I got. Working hard to fill the blank spots in. It's tough right now."

You finished fourth in an ARCA race at Talladega in 2006, driving a Ken Schrader-Wood Bros car. Was that your best race so far? And how do you like those huge superspeedways?

"It was my best finish in the couple ARCA races I've done. Nashville's 4th place finish was my best in the Nationwide Series. I do enjoy speedway racing because it really rewards the patient and smart drivers."

I have to ask this one for the ladies. You are still single, right? Steady girlfriend, or just taking it easy?

"Very single right now. It's important at this time to get everything with my career right. Then, there will be time for the ladies."

I know you're a big Packer fan. Can they win their division this year? Has Favre tarnished his image any by going to the Jets, and not staying retired?

"Absolutely they can win their division. I hate that Brett Favre didn't retire as a Packer. I believe he hurt his image, but he still gave us a lot of good years, so I will forgive him. I still will watch him play, no matter what team its for."

Do you have any charities or organizations you work with that you would like to mention? We have some very generous and caring readers.

"I work directly with Speedway Children's Charity and The Samaritians Feet Organization. Both excellent Charities that serve great purposes."

Thanks, Kelly, and good luck in the future.
 

Tony Stewart wins his first race as an owner/driver. Reports say that Jeremy Mayfield had Meth in his system. Kyle Busch smashed a guitar.

All NASCAR news items from the past week. Guess which one is getting the most gloss on the web, on the radio, on TV? That's right, the earthshattering event of Kyle smashing a trophy guitar.

Most of the time the clueless bash Kyle for demanding that his crew be the best. Now, he smashes a guitar...specifically to give the crew a 'piece' of the trophy...and, that is wrong too!

He smashed that guitar, while cameras were rolling, for the shock value. And, Rube Nation ate it up. Free advice for the clueless, if you want to hurt Kyle....IGNORE him. No booing, just total silence. That would really eat away at him.

He thrives on your booing, and all the overblown attention for any meaningless thing he does, like the guitar smash. He takes his bow after each victory just to get the boo birds fired up, and they play right into his hands.

He works you guys just like a piece of Play-Doh. It really is a joy just to sit back and watch NASCAR's version of Pavlov's act.

This puppet master is only 24 years old, and has his 'puppets' saying that he is the one who needs to 'grow up' or .mature'. Really? One more McMurray, Sorenson, Sadler...just what we need. Albeit, one with talent, though.

So, keep up the booing, rubes. He loves it, and a lot of us love a good puppet show.

It was after nine by the time I made it to Whiskey River, the bar where my informants told me that Dale Jr sometimes hung out. Damn, this place is packed. I finally parked the El Camino around back next to a dumpster, and headed for the front door.

As I made my way closer to the entrance, I noticed that the dress of choice for these patrons was Levis, NASCAR sponsor logoed golf shirts, running shoes, and the ubiquitous ball caps. I felt slightly overdressed in my sport coat and slacks.

Once at the door, I nodded at the three slabs of beef, all wearing the standard two sizes too small, black, staff, tee shirts. 

 I asked them, "Which way to the gun show, boys?" No one smiled. Tough crowd.

I tried again, "Dale Jr been around tonight?"

The smallest one of the three, who I'll call Biggun, snorted, "Haven't seen him, mister."

"If you do, could you tell him that Mike Hanner is looking for him?" I asked.

"Will do, Chief," Biggun replied with a sneer somewhere south of contempt.

I moseyed on inside and belined for the bar. I elbowed my way up the rail, waved an AJ, and told the biggest bartender, who I'll call Chesty, "Jose Gold, straight up, please."

Chesty made it back with my shot, and I told her, "Keep the change. You been working here long?"

"Too long, Sweetie."         

"Yeah, I've heard that before. You know Dale Jr?"

She smiled, "Oh, yes, he's a sweetheart."

"Is he here tonight?"

"Haven't seen him, Hon."

"Okay, thanks," I tossed back as I walked away from the bar, and out into the club.

***

My eyes were now adjusted to the dim lights, and I was scanning the room for a friendly face. I noticed the long, black hair cascading down the bare back of a cocktail waitress, and knew that I recognized her from somewhere. When she finally turned around I was right behind her.

Her eyes lit up like a cash register as she recognized me and said, "Hey... you."

"Well, hey yourself, babe. I haven't seen you since you were at the Gold Club. How long have you been here?"

"A couple of months now," she smiled with that fake, buy me a new car, stripper smile.

I looked over her shoulder and saw Chesty and one of the bouncers having a conversation at the bar while looking at me and the ex-stripper. They didn't seem too happy.

I continued on with, what the hell is her name, "So, babe, you know Dale Jr?"

"Oh yes," she purred as that cash register smile lit up again.

"Seen him lately?"

"Yes, he in the VIP section, and, that bitch, Roxxi is working his table tonight."

"Can you get me in there to see him?"

"Sure thing, babe," she said as I could tell by the look in her eyes that this would require some grease. So I peeled a Benj off of the stack I'd picked up from Victoria Lane earlier.

Cash register eyes took me by the hand and led me into the VIP room, right by another security guy that looked like the Incredible Hulk. That is if the Hulk was smaller and had that same strange spray-on orange tint as this dude.

***

The waitress led me right up to Dale's table. He was sipping a Bud, and holding court with two other guys and three girls.

I introduced myself, "Dale, I'm Mike Hanner, and I was wondering if I could ask you a few questions?"

"Sure, man," Dale smiled, and nodded for the others to clear out. "There you go, sit down, dude. I heard you was tryin' to find me. What's up?"

I sat down, and could feel the Orange Hulk's stare on the back of my neck. Jr nodded towards the Hulk to let him know that everything was okay.

I led off, "Dale do you remember Victoria Lane?"

He grimaced, "Well, it has been a while, but who could forget her?"

"Yes, I've met her, she is unforgettable," I continued, "She misses you, Dale, and she wants to see you."

Dale raised his voice, "You think I don't miss her, and want to see her? Damn, If it was up to me, I'd be living with her. Just tell her I do want to see her, but it's gotta be on my terms."

I felt the clamp of the Hulk's paw on my shoulder and I started to rise so he wouldn't break anything.

Dale put his head down as Hulk said, "That's it, let's go."

I saw the ex-stripper by the bar, looking the other way, as Hulk escorted me to the front door. I noticed that only one of the three meatheads was there now.

I was almost to my truck when I heard someone behind me. As I turned, I never saw the large silhouette step out from behind the dumpster. I did hear the thwack of a Louisville Slugger on the side of my head, though. Then, nothing.

 

Part II....

http://community.foxsports.com/blogs/Hanahan/2009/06/02/Mike_Hanner_Private_Eye_II

Part I...

http://community.foxsports.com/blogs/Hanahan/2009/05/17/Mike_Hanner_Private_Eye

After last week's shootout at the Monster Mile in Delaware, the boys take a short northward trek to the western wilderness of Pennsylvania. They'll give the tri-cornered roval of Pocono their best shot this week.

And they'll do it with double file restarts after each (debris) caution. NASCAR practiced last week with six debris cautions. NASCAR claims to have been studying this switch on restarts for over a year now.

Riiiight. Why didn't they make the change before the first event of the season then? You know like other professional sports leagues do. Imagine the NFL changing a major rule...in mid-season!

TNT takes a break from airing 'Law and Order' reruns long enough to bring us the next six Sprint Cup races, as we say AMF to Digger. If you miss the Mole in the Hole, check out TNT's 'Race Buddy' on NASCAR.com.

Kyle Petty makes his return to NASCAR, in the TNT booth, along with the underutilized, Wally Dallenbach, and the overutilized, Bill Weber. And, no, we didn't get rid of Larry McReynolds yet...he's on TNT also. Rackem frackem!

Tony Stewart's charity race at Eldora Speedway, Prelude to a Dream, was postponed this week due to rain. The new scheduled date is September 9th. Won't that interfere with the 'Chase'?

Smoke took over the points lead last week at Dover. It's the first time he's led the points since the season finale in 2005...he won the title. Unbelievable stat of the week: 2002 and 2005 are the only seasons in which Stewart led the points, he went on to win the championship both years.

Good news, Kevin Harvick makes his 300th Cup start this Sunday. Bad news, he's never led a lap at Pocono. Good news, he has finished in the top 15 in the last eight races here.

Mark Martin has five 2nd place runs here in 44 starts. Greg Biffle has one top-five in his 12 starts. Kyle Busch has led just two laps here in 8 starts.

Kasey Kahne holds the Pocono track record with a run of 172.533 in 2004. Denny Hamlin swept both Pocono poles and wins in his rookie year, and has an average finishing position of 6.2.

Some think that Pocono's unique flat, three turn course would favor the road racers. How about these road ace's average Pocono finishes...Robby Gordon 27.7, John Andretti 28.2, Juan Pablo Montoya 28.5.

Mike Hanner is heading to Pocono, look for Dale Jr to have his best race of the year.