A little more proof, just in case you needed any, that a lot of people in this world just aren't that freakin' smart:

According to the AP, Herbert Alex Simpson, 30, of Philadelphia, had a grudge against two female ex-coworkers, so he did what anyone would do in that situation - he wrote threatening letters to New York Giants football coach Tom Coughlin, pretending to be those two women, and threatening Coughlin with "a living hell" if he didn't pay $20,000 to $30,000 to keep phony sexual trysts with them quiet.

I know exactly what you're thinking. This story stinks on so many levels it's not even funny, although it really is kind of funny. Even Mrs. Coughlin didn't believe that ol' Tom would have what it takes to get two other women into bed; not even ones that don't know him.

When you think of smooth-talking ladykiller types, the intense and focused Coughlin isn't exactly the guy who springs to mind. Unless the young ladies were flaunting Washington Redskins playbooks, Tom Coughlin probably would never even have noticed them in the first place.

And how, exactly, did Herbert Alex Simpson, who clearly needs to work on his reasoning skills, think his big plan was going to hurt the two women he had such a problem with? Coughlin gets the letters and goes immediately to the authorities, who have seen interviews with Coughlin and thus have no problem believing he didn't sleep with the two women. The authorities then go to the women, they say "Never seen the letters before and never slept with Coughlin" and prove it (at least the first part) by giving samples of their handwriting, and they go on with their Coughlin-less lives.

Meanwhile, the authorities ask the obvious followup question, "Who do you think might do such a thing?" and, surprisingly, both women immediately think of, you guessed it, Herbert Alex Simpson. Sheesh. Homer Simpson looks like a Mensa candidate compared to this guy.

So now, in addition to pissing off Tom Coughlin and barely inconveniencing the two women he was angry with in the first place, Herbert Alex Simpson becomes a national laughingstock. His response? He claims he "never thought the coach would get them and he never intended to harm his family."

And, really, why would he think the coach would get them? Writing the man's home address on the envelope and sticking proper postage on it hardly ever results in a letter ending up where it was sent.

Poor Hebert Alex Simpson. He is now facing a sentence of up to two years in prison and potentially a $250,000 fine. Just a wild guess here, but I'll bet Herbert Alex doesn't have that kind of money. Luckily for him, there are still 31 other NFL head coaches just waiting to be suckered like Coughlin. No doubt he is busily writing up the letters even as we speak.

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If you love fiction and have a few spare minutes, check out my website, www.allanleverone.com

I normally try to stay away from re-posting something that I've written here before, mostly because I figure it's good to try to force a little creativity out of my feeble brain.  In this case, though, I'm posting something I wrote originally this past March. 

The Jimmy Fund is the long-time charity of the Boston Red Sox, dedicated to fighting cancer in children.  Today and tomorrow, Boston sports radio station WEEI and television network NESN, the New England SportsNetwork, are holding their seventh annual Jimmy Fund Radio-Telethon, hoping to raise millions of dollars to fund cancer research.

Here is the post I wrote last March dedicated to the subject:

Between fans of the Boston Red Sox and New York Yankees, even over the winter the sniping never really ends, it just becomes a little more muted than during the regular season.

This year in particular, the offseason seemed more bombastic than usual, what with members of both organizations getting involved and ratcheting up the noise. First, A-Rod stepped on Red Sox toes with the ill-timed World Series announcement that he was opting out of his contract. He says it was his agent's idea and that he regrets the timing, but that was just the first volley anyway.

After that came Red Sox closer Jonathan Papelbon's remark to a reporter that the Series-clinching ball, the one he supposedly had in his possession, had been eaten by his dog. The dog's name? "Boss," of course, what else?

Move on to spring training, where Hank Steinbrenner railed against Boston's "Red Sox Nation," much to the delight of Red Sox fans everywhere. Steinbrenner promised to restore order to the universe by beating the Sox, and everyone else, and earning a Yankee World Championship.

Finally, Boston management responded by enrolling Mr. Steinbrenner in Red Sox Nation and sending him a David Ortiz autographed hat as a peace offering. Needless to say, that peace offering went unaccepted.

From a Red Sox perspective, then, the Yankees are the hated enemy, the thorn in their side, the bane of their existence. As a kid born and raised outside Boston, I can testify to the truth of that statement, and undoubtedly the same thing is true of Yankee fans everywhere, who used to say, "You have to win once in a while for it to be a rivalry," in a not-so-subtle nod to the fact that while the Red Sox were going 86 years without a championship, the Yankees were racking them up with regularity. Well, now that the Sox have won a couple, it seems the rivalry has become invigorated and reached a renewed intensity.

But here's the dirty little secret that Hank Steinbrenner surely doesn't want you to know, whether you are a Boston fan or a New York supporter: The Steinbrenner family has been incredibly generous to the charity the Red Sox organization adopted 55 years ago and has supported ever since, the Jimmy Fund.

Established in 1948, the Jimmy Fund of Boston's Dana-Farber Cancer Institute is dedicated to raising money and awareness in the fight against cancer in children. In the 60 years since it's inception, the Jimmy Fund has raised over $400 million dollars, with more than 90 cents out of every dollar raised going directly toward research dedicated to "eradicating cancer and related diseases."

For the past seven years, Boston sports radio station WEEI, and NESN, the New England Sports Network, have teamed up with the Red Sox organization to run a weekend radio/telethon in support of the Jimmy Fund. Each of the first six telethons have raised a larger amount of money than the one the previous year, culminating in last year's total of $3.74 million, with a grand total in the six-year history of the event of nearly $12 million raised.

What does all this have to do with the Steinbrenner family? Since it's inception in 2002, George Steinbrenner has supported the fundraising weekend with an annual donation of $10,000, which he upped last year to $25,000. He is not by any means the only celebrity/rich guy making a donation - Dodgers owner Frank McCourt and MLB Commissioner Bud Selig are two others who have opened their wallets generously - but the others aren't the owners and public faces of the supposed sworn enemies of the franchise.

Rivaries are great for sports. They add drama and excitement to the season and give fans and media something to talk about. But some things are more important in life, and it's nice to see that The Boss and the entire Steinbrenner family have an appreciation for that fact.

This year's 7th Annual Red Sox WEEI/NESN Jimmy Fund Radio/Telethon takes place the weekend of August 14-15, and for the seventh straight year will attempt to break the previous season's record for money raised. Undoubtedly the Steinbrenner family and thus the New York Yankees will again be a big part of the fundraising effort.

For more information on the Jimmy Fund or to make a donation, just click this link. Or this one.  Or this one.  Anyone who has watched a relative or close friend suffer through cancer - and who hasn't? - knows how difficult it is to sit by as a loved one is ravaged by the disease. Now imagine that someone is a young child, maybe even your son or daughter. Take a moment to check out the Jimmy Fund, and if you have a few bucks, think about pledging something - you just might save a life today.

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If you love fiction and have a few spare minutes, check out my website, www.allanleverone.com

I didn't see last night's alleged baseball game between the Boston Red Sox and the Texas Rangers, but for fans of offense, it had to be right up there with the Run and Shoot in football and the Wayne Gretzky Edmonton Oilers in the 1980's NHL.

Check out some of these numbers, stats that would make you toss your Strat-O-Matic in the trash assuming it was irreparably broken, if it ever gave you a game like this when you were playing it as a kid:

- Red Sox score ten runs in the first inning, and have to rally after falling behind in the game, to win 19-17! It would have been closer, but the Rangers pulled their goaltender late in the game and Boston was able to score an empty-netter to give them a the two-goal win.

- 36 runs were scored in a nine-inning major league game. In the entire history of the American League, there have never been more runs scored in a game that didn't go extra innings, and the last time this many were scored was almost six decades ago!

- Runs were scored in every inning, with the exception of the fourth, when batters were so winded from running around the bases that they refused to run out anything. Manny Ramirez would have loved it.

- Ten runs were scored in an inning twice in the game - In the first inning, when Boston scored ten, and in the fifth, when Texas scored eight and Boston answered with two.

- Jonathan Papelbon, Boston's closer, earned his 32nd save, undoubtedly one of the few times in history a pitcher picked up a save in a game in which his team scored nineteen runs.

- For the game, Texas batted .426 (20-47), while Boston was slightly off the pace at .425 (17-40).

- David Ortiz, Red Sox - Two home runs, and six RBI, in the first inning!

- Two players went 5-6 in the game: Marlon Byrd for the Rangers, who drove in three runs and scored four, and Dustin Pedroia for the Red Sox, who drove in two and scored five.

It was not immediately known how many pitchers sought post-game medical attention for post-traumatic stress disorder. Details as they become available.

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If you love fiction and have a few minutes to spare, check out my website, www.allanleverone.com

It has become standard practice for athletes of all incomes and all ability levels in all professional sports to endear themselves to the local fan base by exclaiming loudly and to anyone who will listen how much they are looking forward to finishing their career in that city.

Usually midway through the introductory press conference, the athlete in question vows, in between posing for the obligatory photos shaking the hands of the team's ownership and management (also known as the very same people he will be fighting tooth and nail against to get more money from come contract time) and holding up his new home jersey with his name on the back, that this is where he has wanted to play his entire career and he is looking forward to retiring from this lucky city.

The players inevitably say these words with the utmost sincerity, counting on the suckers...uh, excuse me...fans...yeah, that's it, fans...to eat it up like Rosie O'Donnell at the dessert table, which they inevitably do.

But Manny Ramirez has set a new standard for baboozling home-town fans, a mark which may never be broken. After stating in early summer that he fully expected to remain a Boston Red Sox until retirement, he orchestrated a trade out of town by performing in-game job actions that were so blatantly obvious they have inspired an investigation from the league office.

But wait, there's more! After donning mirrored sunglasses and wowing fans in L.A. by stating, within 24 hours of arriving in town, "I think that I'll play here for the remainder of my career," sources now say that what the man for whom the term "enigmatic" was originally coined meant to say was that he wants to sign a free agent contract this winter to loaf...uh, excuse me...play...yeah, that's it, play, for the New York Yankees until his retirement from the game.

Anyone can change his mind, of course, and it was a whole five days between Manny's oath of devotion to L.A. and the revelation of the latest city he's developed a crush on, but ultimately, it probably doesn't much matter, anyway. The guy will hit wherever he is, and chances are he's not going to be too sure where that is, anyway.

Besides, if the flirtation with New York doesn't work out, there are still over two dozen cities he can swear he wants to finish his career in, and that doesn't even include Green Bay, where Manny may or may not have volunteered to play quarterback. He's just hitting his stride!

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If you love fiction and have a few minutes to spare, check out my website, www.allanleverone.com

Anyone who has ever played sports at any level has probably heard this from a coach at one time or another: "It doesn't take any talent to hustle!"

I heard this repeatedly when I was playing baseball, telling me that:

A) The coaches appreciated my hard-nosed style of play, the fact that my uniform was always dirty, and the fact that I never gave up on any ball, no matter where it was hit, OR,

B) They recognized that I had no appreciable talent for the game.

Although it's kind of a backwards compliment, like telling your date she's the prettiest girl at the dance when you're the first couple to arrive, there's still a lot of truth to the statement - All it takes to bust it down the line on a ground ball is the desire to do so, and sometimes that little bit of effort makes all the difference in the world.

This is why I love the right side of the Boston Red Sox infield so much. Kevin Youkilis and Dustin Pedroia are both straight out of the Trot Nixon-Mike Greenwell mold. They will dive, run into and sometimes through walls, hustle out ground balls, and always give 100%, a rarity in the world of professional sports, where so many players seem to think it's more important to preen and showboat than to do their utmost to help their team win.

For Pedroia, a little guy who has a home run hitter's swing and yet makes consistent contact with the best in the league, that work ethic has produced a current streak of hits in 28 consecutive road games. Not that impressive, you say? No Boston player has a longer such streak since Tris Speaker in 1915!

To put that into a little historical perspective, the last time a Red Sox player had a longer road hitting streak than Pedroia, Woodrow Wilson was president of the United States and the country was still two years away from entering into World War One. We have had sixteen presidents since then, and at the time of Tris Speaker's streak, Arizona and New Mexico had only entered the union three years prior.

Babe Ruth was a 20 year old kid playing in his first full year in the big leagues, mostly as a pitcher, compiling 217.7 innings pitched and an 18-8 record. Oh yeah, he showed a little promise at the plate too, hitting .315 with four home runs for the Red Sox, who were still four years away from selling him to...well...you know the rest of the story.

Anyway, I bring up this Pedroia streak because the guy is one of those players you hate if he's on the other team but you love if he's on your team, because he's so darned pesky - he's like the bugs buzzing around Joba Chamberlain's head in the playoffs last fall - no matter how hard you try, you just can't get rid of him.
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If you love fiction and have a few minutes to spare, check out my website, www.allanleverone.com