Dateline, Tampa, FL.

Stop the presses! We interrupt our scheduled programming to bring you the following breaking news. George Steinbrenner says the Yankees will win the World Series. It's obvious he means it, as Manager Joe Torre has already held an hour-long team meeting, before the first full-squad workout of the spring, to ensure that all the players are on board with the latest mandate.

In other breaking news, O.J. is still combing the country's golf courses looking for the real killer. Johnny Weir still feels black inside, and Bill Leavy is still regretting that he didn't call in sick that day.

Spring training hasn't even really gotten going yet, especially with the World Baseball Classic looming just around the corner, and already Joe Torre must be second-guessing his decision to return for another season, in much the same way he knows he's going to be second-guessed by the Boss the first time the bullpen coughs up a lead or he doesn't sacrifice a runner over and the Yankees don't score.

Picture yourself trying to do your job while the boss is hanging out behind your desk, monitoring your phone calls and providing helpful updates to the media about your job performance, all after guaranteeing the stockholders that your division will be producing record profits this year. Gee, thanks boss, but couldn't we just run a few drills before we start printing the World Series tickets?

It's enough to warm the heart of this Boston fan. Have fun Johnny, and repeat after me: "I'm making 52 million, I can take this, I'm making 52 million, I can take this..."