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He Said: "Look at that sky outside, it looks like we're going to get a whopper of a thunderstorm any minute now."
He Meant: "Oh crap, it's Saturday, and I know damn well she's not going to forget that I said I would clean out the gutters this afternoon. She wouldn't make me go up on the roof in a thunderstorm, would she?"
She Said: "Don't worry, honey. The Weather Channel says it's going to clear up and be beautiful any minute now."
She Meant: "I can't believe that weasel is trying to get out of cleaning those gutters again!"
He Said: "Hey, let's watch a movie this afternoon! Maybe Beaches or something."
He Meant: "Code red, code red! This is my last chance. I'd even rather watch that stupid chick flick than clean out those gutters!"
She Said: "Maybe we could watch a football game instead. The Razorbacks are playing on Channel Five."
She Meant: "I don't want to watch that stupid chick flick. At least football will keep him busy. Hmmm....Razorbacks....That reminds me, I saw a cute racerback blouse yesterday at Macy's. I'll have to go back there and get it."
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Later....
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He Said: "Look at the tight end, he's gotta get more separation!"
He Meant: "The receivers are all covered. If we don't start getting the ball to the tight end, the offense is going to bog down."
She Said: "I know, it's unbelievable."
She Meant: "I have no idea what he's talking about, but all the players have nice tight ends in those football pants."
He Said: "The quarterback is making bad decisions in the pocket."
He meant: "The quarterback is making bad decisions in the pocket."
She Said: "I agree, the quarterback must make good decisions in the pocket, of all places."
She Meant: "Speaking of quarters back and good decisions, I think Macy's might be having a 25% off sale on that blouse I want. Maybe I should get two."
He Said: "Honey, we should do this every week. This is great!"
He meant: "The only way this could get any better is if I got some lovin' tonight!"
She Said: "You're right, honey, this is fun!"
She Meant: "I have a headache."