CHICAGO.  Sources close to President-elect Barack say he will nominate former Philadelphia 76er great Julius "Dr. J" Erving to the post of Surgeon General, the nation's leading spokesman on public health.


The Doctor makes a house call.

"We cast a wide net," said Obama's Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel.  "We spoke to Dr. Dre, Doc Rivers and Dr. Martens," manufacturer of hip footwear worn by many Obama supporters.  "None had Dr. J's vertical leap, or the vertical elevation of his Afro."


Dr. Joycelyn Elders:  "Actually, I'd rather not shake hands if you don't mind."

Unlike his boss, if confirmed Dr. J will not be the first African-American to occupy his office.  That distinction belongs to Dr. Joycelyn Elders, Surgeon General under President Bill Clinton, who was dismissed after she suggested at a UN conference that masturbation should be taught.  "That's the most ludicrous thing I've ever heard," said Georgia Representative Newt Gingrich at the time.  "Masturbation is a subject for home schooling."


"Rock the Baby" dunk

Dr. J has had a long-standing interest in pediatrics, as he invented the "rock the baby" dunk later used by Michael Jordan.  "Pre-natal care is key with that move," Erving said at conference for first-time parents.  "If you don't do it right, you either c rap the bed or it's an abortion."