The other day I was sitting at home watching T.V., flipping through the channels.  I hate those horribly written sitcoms and the goofy reality shows where people embarrass themselves for money.  Then, I hit the sports channels, the good reliable sports channels that amuse me daily.  Then I saw what was on them; dominoes, bowling, and poker.  This made me wonder if I was even watching ESPN or Fox Sports because I don't remember any of those filling stadiums or having jerseys in the local Sports Authority.  More and more hours of sports programming are being put into these questionable shows and I'm tired of it.  Why can't football be on?

To help the viewing public, I'm going to dissect these so-called sports and determine once and for all, what is a sport and what isn't.

Dominoes...Not a Sport

If you are able to play without leaving the comfort of your own stoop, then it is not a sport.  Announcers and player profiles does not make it any more competitive or compelling.

Bowling...It's a Sport

Practice makes you better at it and strength and precision play factors in determining the outcome.  However, Pete Weber wears those dumb sunglasses and yells a lot, not helping the credibility of the sport at all.

Sumo Wrestling...Again, Not a Sport

How can I consider this a sport when training consists of eating every single scrap of food in front of you?  Momentum is not a physical skill people and neither is lacking enough shame to wear a diaper into the ring.

UFC and Mixed Martial Arts in general...It's a Sport

ESPN missed the boat on this one and just because they won't show it on SportsCenter doesn't make it any less of a sport.  It's entertaining and strategy plays such a large part in determining a winner.

Poker, Blackjack, and any other card game...Not a Sport

Sitting in a chair that doesn't move pretty much eliminates the possibility of this being a sport.  It pays out like a sport, but when your face is your greatest weakness, it loses its luster.

Boxing...Still a Sport, for now

The many sanctioning bodies are threatening the level of competition and the overall intrigue of boxing.  Unless they start getting some fighters that do more than "grab and jab", they are headed for the equivalent of sporting purgatory.

Fantasy Sports...Sorry guys, Not a Sport

Computers can not be a necessity in a sport, unless it's Gilbert Arenas at halftime.  I know that sweating occurs; especially when you are waiting for your next pick and the guy you want is teetering on the board, but that usually only happens because you are OUT of shape.

Cycling...Definitely a Sport

OLN featured parts of the NHL playoffs in addition to the Tour De France, so it is possible for a sport to be on this network.  No other sport features this level of endurance and it has a face that rivals that of any other in Lance Armstrong, even if he is retired.

Robot Battles...Never will be a Sport

I remember when Comedy Central featured Battle Bots along with South Park on Wednesdays.  Unless you weigh less than 100 pounds or only tuck in half of your collared shirt, this is not a sport.

 

As always, if any one else if frustrated over a sport (or supposed sport), leave a comment

With the Free Agency period just around the corner, teams should be warned about overspending on potential.  Big, goofy, white centers seem to be the biggest mistake in the past, so avoid Joel Przybilla.  Here are the 10 greatest free agency bungles in NBA history (in no particular order).

Travis Knight (7 year, $22 million), BOS Celtics.  After a rookie season with the Lakers that showed promise, he signed a deal with the Celtics to be their low-post scorer and a complement to Paul Pierce and Antoine Walker.  He was traded after one season and ended up on the Knicks, barely finding time to pick the splinters off his butt from his extensive bench work.

Eddy Curry (6 year, $60 million plus 2 1st round picks), NY Knicks.  Time will tell if Curry can help this team go back to respectability, but an eight-figure salary is a lot to invest in a player with a heart condition and an 8:1 turnover to assist ratio.  Let's not forget they'll lose out on 2 potential lottery picks, with next year's possibly being Greg Oden or Kevin Durant.

Jim McIlvaine (5 year, $35 million), SEA Sonics.  1996 saw the Sonics go to the finals and all they needed was a center to play off of Shawn Kemp.  McIlvaine was signed and went on to average a career high 3.8 points in his first season and started a string of bad center choices that continues to this day.

Brian Cardinal (6 year, $37 million), MEM Grizzlies.  He has the heart of a HOFer, but the body of a gingerbread man.  Cardinal made over $100,000 per rebound last year and it doesn't look like he'll be seeing many minutes with the acquisitions of Rudy Gay and Stromile Swift.

Kenyon Martin (7 year, $91 million plus 4 1st round picks), DEN Nuggets.  A maximum dollar deal shouldn't go to a player whose attitude gets him suspended in the playoffs.  He can put up numbers when he wants, but he lost the desire once he saw his first paycheck.

Todd MacCulloch (6 year, $34 million), NJ Nets.  Being big enough to play against Shaq can really get you paid.  MacCulloch showed 0 coordination and 0 durability as he was able to manage only 2 more seasons before his feet and knees forced him to retire.  His scoring can be excused due to the "Allen Iverson effect". 

Vitaly Potapenko (6 year, $33 million), SEA Sonics.  The "Ukraine Train" never left the station as he was yet another Seattle center that couldn't cut it.  His value has most notably been as a throw in to free up future cap space.

Calvin Booth (6 year, $34 million), SEA Sonics.  The third Sonics center on the list has bounced to 4 teams in the last 4 years.  He averaged 1 point and 1 rebound a game, but you put two "1's" together and you get "11". 

Howard Eisley (7 year, $41 million), NY Knicks.  Remembered best as John Stockton's heir apparent, Eisley was the least heralded of all the Knicks blunders through the years.  The difference is that Eisley did nothing to deserve this contract except play behind Stockton for 5 years.  Someone should have told Eisley in all his time in Utah, he should have watched and learned.

Jon Koncak (6 year, $13 million), ATL Hawks.  The money may not seem as high as some of the others on the list, but in 1989, the deal made him a higher paid player than Larry Bird, Magic Johnson, or Michael Jordan.  He may have re-signed with his original team, but it was Koncak's contract that is noted as the start of inflation for contract negotiations for other players and it prevented the Hawks from pursuing other free agents.  He is why they refer to any bad deal as a "Koncak".

Anyone else have one, share it with me.  I always tend to forget one.

The United States has loaned out money to many nations in need over the years and it is time to pay up.  Now, the majority of countries are in no position to repay this the conventional way (with money) so an alternative needs to be put into place.  American athletes have been causing trouble or just don't fit in with what this country wants, so I say exportation is in order and then we'll be closer to even.

Side Note:  I have no idea what countries owe us money, so for the sake of argument, go with me on this one, ok?

Latrell Sprewell to Canada

Everyone knows that it takes over $10 million a year to feed a family like Sprewell's and he is just starving right now.  Lucky for him, Canada has a far better welfare system then we do and should be able to at least provide him with some maple syrup or something.

Adam Morrison to China

This one works two-fold.  The man with the "Stache" needs to learn about the true power of the moustache, the Fu Manchu moustache that is.  Also, what better place to toughen up a guy then the home of some of the greatest warriors in history?

Isiah Thomas to Japan

It is well documented that Japan is in a bigger mess than a frat house's kitchen.  So Thomas' arrival can't make anything worse, that is unless he decides to bring Renaldo Balkman with him.

The Young (Dmitri and Delmon) brothers to Singapore

Michael Fay understands this one better than anyone else.  The Young brothers have been flirting with disaster in their separate assault incidents, which would carry a penalty of six strikes with a cane.  Others for consideration include Chris Henry, Santonio Holmes, and Brett Myers.

World Cup officials to Macedonia

You might be wondering why?  They aren't from America, but this needs to be done.  They seem to be so enamored with the colors red and yellow, it just makes for a natural fit.

Steve Nash to Germany

His affiliations to the U.S., Canada, and South Africa all don't share his enthusiasm of soccer.  The misunderstood mophead would fit in better in the home of the 2006 World Cup.  We hate to see you go, but it's better off for the both of us.

Shawn Kemp to Switzerland

The Swiss have a policy in place that allows for all new fathers to have a 6 week paid leave.  Kemp has at least 7 kids to his credit, all illegitimate, so he would like this fit and we wouldn't have to watch him going from dunking a basketball to dunking another donut.

Terrell Owens to India

The crowds there will be huge and we all know T.O. loves to be the center of attention.  Plus, no one will understand a word he says, so he will have a much harder time causing problems.  Knowing him though, T.O. will find a way.

Manny Ramirez to Mars

Yeah, I know Mars isn't a country, but that way Manny can be Manny all on his own.  There is a better chance that what he does is understood.

Barry Bonds to the U.S.S.R.

Yea, it disbanded nearly 20 years ago, but Bonds would love it there.  Ivan Drago used an injectable "flaxseed oil" and he was the nation's savior in Rocky IV.

 

As always, I love to hear your comments, good or bad, and any of your own you can come up with.

Let me start off by saying that I am a Chicago native, a kid who grew up watching the Bulls of the early 90's.  Even then, I never developed the attachment to "His Airness", my closet devoid of that red "23" jersey.  In its place was a similar jersey that read "Armstrong", a player who averaged less than 10 points per game (9.8) for his career.  My lack of admiration for the smiling assassin led to distasteful looks from my friends and a sports hatred that was second only to Steve Bartman as far as fan-bashing goes.

On June 15th, about 2 weeks ago, Jordan became part of Robert Johnson's ownership group in the Charlotte Bobcats.  Subsequently, Jordan is credited for the Bobcats' choice of Adam Morrison (rumor has other members of the organization to have favored Rudy Gay) and will hold a personnel position with the team to assist in acquisitions of players through the draft, trades, and free agency.  Wonderful, as his image thus far is picking Kwame Brown as the 1st overall pick in the 2001 draft, so he is amply qualified.

All I want is to see Michael Jordan in the owner's box at games during every timeout and for announcers to refer to him every time Adam Morrison is shown making a shot.  I, for one, am tired of seeing Jordan trying to stay in the NBA spotlight after his multiple retirements.  Credit David Stern in part for that, lobbying for teams like the Milwaukee Bucks to include Jordan in any potential sale. 

Michael Jordan has been such a model citizen over the years.  He is a compulsive gambler and an adulterer, but that's ok because he won 6 Championship rings and holds the record for the highest per game average (30.12).  He charges between $100 and $200 for shoes made by children, but he can because it has an insignia of him dunking a basketball on it and his own cologne.

Yes, this is the Michael Jordan that everyone glorifies and considers the greatest of all time.  ESPN named him the "Athlete of the 20th century" and SLAM magazine voted him #1 on a list of the 75 greatest basketball players.  To me, it's just another example of a player over-hyped because he is marketable.  Bill Russell won 11 titles; Wilt Chamberlain is the only player to ever lead the league in scoring, rebounding, and assists; and Magic Johnson played all 5 positions and is 3rd all-time in assists.  None of these guys are touted as highly even though they dominated their eras more so than Jordan ever did.

Many pundits claim that Scottie Pippen never would have been the player he was without Jordan.  I say it's the other way around.  Jordan never escaped the 1st round of the playoffs until Pippen arrived in 1987.  By comparison, Pippen took the Bulls to the 2nd round of the 1994 NBA playoffs, the year Pippen played without Jordan in Chicago, losing in game 7 to the Knicks.  Michael never made the playoffs with the Wizards in his 2 years there either, so I question his ability to make a team better.

Individual awards are nice and they can make you look like a very good player.  A great one though, can succeed on and off the court.  Jordan never proved he could win without a HOFer (and yes, Pippen is one) by his side, something that I consider a requisite to be great.  As a personnel man, he hasn't faired as well as Larry Bird or Joe Dumars, looking a lot more like Isiah Thomas.  The one thing he has going for him is that Renaldo Balkman isn't on the Bobcats.

If it was up to me, Jordan would just fade away and live his life in obscurity.  He has tarnished his image enough and as a Chicago Bulls fan and avid basketball watcher, I want the days of MJ at the forefront to be a thing of the past.

You don't need to call the Holiday Inn to find sleepers, look no further than this blog right here.  These are the players who make and break your team, which is why you have to not only find the sleepers, but understand what production to expect and what round they are worthy of being picked in. 

A player like Anquan Boldin or Chris Cooley were surprises last year (I had both in one league), but they are not worth as much if you bypass other players and take them too early.  Just like in real life, no one likes a man who is a quick draw.

Quarterbacks

Snoozers

Jake Delhomme, Car.  Bye Week: 9

He is working with the top fantasy receiver from a year ago (Steve Smith) and the acquisition of Keyshawn Johnson can only help.  He is tied for the 4th highest TD passes in the last 3 years (Matt Hasselbeck) and only had 2 games without throwing a TD last season.  Expect another season of about 25 TD's and 14 INT's with a lot of consistency from week to week.  If you want a QB to be your cornerstone, don't draft Jake, but if you want one who won't lose you games, he is just as good in fantasy as he is for Carolina.

Billy Volek, Ten.  Bye Week: 7

Volek's chance has arrived and with David Givens joining Drew Bennett, Erron Kinney, and Ben Troupe; the Titans will have more options in the passing game.  Expect the Titans to be playing from behind, which always is good for garbage points (think Kurt Warner).  Volek owns as many 300 yard games (3) as David Carr and Mark Brunell over the last 3 seasons and he has only started 10 games in that time.  He can likely be found late or even on the waiver wire, but his upside as a backup is higher than most.  Vince Young will be looking over his shoulder though, from the sidelines! (didn't expect that one, did you?)

Losers

Daunte Culpepper, Mia.  Bye Week: 8

Everyone has developed amnesia since Culpepper's trade to Miami, forgetting about his struggles last season.  He averaged less than 1 TD a game and threw twice as many INT's (12) as TD's (6).  Let's not forget he tore all 3 knee ligaments, an injury that requires a minimum of 2 years to properly heal, so don't expect much of a running game from an already tentative Culpepper.  He has been drafted as early as the 4th round under the belief he will return to his 2003 numbers (3,500 yards, 25 TD's, 11 INT's), which is as likely as Joey Harrington playing the piano at halftime of the Super Bowl featuring the Dolphins and the 49ers. 

Donovan McNabb, Phi.  Bye Week: 9

Losing T.O. will help McNabb regain his hearing, but those downfield throws that went against the principles of the West Coast offense are a thing of the past.  Reggie Brown will continue to progress, but expect numbers more Fred-X than T.O.  L.J. Smith and those legendary Rocks of Gibraltar he calls hands are the closest thing Donovan has to a primary option.  With no running game, no receivers, and less of an inclination to run; Donovan McNabb will get somewhere in the neighborhood of 22 total TD's and 3200 passing yards, not worthy of the 5 or 6 round pick that it takes to get him.  Superman returns, but in a less dazzling fashion than in the movie (which was excellent by the way).

Running Backs

Snoozers

Warrick Dunn, ATL.  Bye Week: 5

Small backs are frowned upon, but Tiki Barber showed last year the effectiveness that one can have.  Dunn racks yardage like ribs and makes the most of his touches, averaging 5.1 YPC last year.  If Duckett is traded at some point or just put in the doghouse next to Snoopy, then Dunn's TD totals would increase, the only thing that is keeping him from elite status.  He is capable of big reception numbers, but so might every other Falcons receiver if Vick learns that passing involves completions as well as attempts.

Frank Gore, SF.  Bye Week: 7

Putting up 3 times as many TD's as your quarterback is an amazing feat, unless your quarterback only threw 1 TD pass last year.  Still, Gore managed to average 4.8 yards a carry even though they ranked dead last in passing yardage.  Kevan Barlow seems to have lost the favor of the coaches and Gore is a more aggressive inside runner, thriving on contact.  With that offensive line in front of him, he'll receive more contact than a Braille music book on Stevie Wonder's shelf.

Chester Taylor, Min.  Bye Week: 6

Unluck Frank Gore, Taylor should be expected to be a fantasy starter and possibly the surprise of the running back group.  Brad Childress' offense features short passes to RB's and Taylor is similar to Brian Westbrook in that he can break a run at any time.  Don't be fooled, Mewelde Moore will see less play then Demi Moore and Childress tends to use only one back in his offense.  A 1,000 yard season with 7 to 8 TD's are not out of the question and reception-heavy leagues should value him even higher.

Losers

Julius Jones, Dal.  Bye Week: 3

Any team that has T.O. on it see less rushing TD's so Owens can get his numbers.  Jones though, has to deal with the threat of Marion Barber III, who outperformed Thomas' younger brother.  He is being drafted as a #2 back, but he is losing goal-line carries to Barber and Parcells may put a larger emphasis on the passing game with T.O. in town and as we all know, Owens shares his star with no one.

Kevin Jones, Det.  Bye Week: 8

Another Jones, another bust.  Did anyone ever notice the way rushing yards and TD's went down when Martz took over the offensive duties of the Rams?  If you thought Jones had limited TD opportunities now, wait until the Williams brothers are catching 3-yard TD passes.  His per carry average dropped over a full yard and Jones is not known as a good receiver.  At least now people can blame Martz in addition to Matt Millen when they lose 12 games this year.

Reuban Droughns, Cle.  Bye Week: 6

Any feature back at this size should not only manage 2 TD's, regardless of the offense.  With Kellen Winslow Jr. returning and Joe Jurevicius joining the team, there will be even fewer opportunities for Droughns to cross the white line.  With Droughns, you will see him beating women more than you will an opposing fantasy team, which is becoming all too common these days *cough* Brett Myers *cough*. 

Wide Receivers

Snoozers

Reggie Brown, Phi.  Bye Week: 9

T.O. is finally gone and McNabb is going to have to throw to someone.  Brown showed the most promise, particularly in the second half of the season after T.O. was suspended.  A downside to the offense is the way they spread the ball all around the field, but that may keep the double coverage off of Brown.  After the failed Fred-X experiment, the fans will be asking Philly "What can Brown do for you?"

Joe Horn, NO.  Bye Week: 7

Another player who is affected by amnesiac fans.  Horn is just one season removed from an 11 TD 1400 yard campaign.  The emergence of Donte Stallworth will scare some, but Drew Brees isn't known for his vertical passing.  Their best possession receiver is Horn and someone has to go over the middle for Brees, as evident by his days in San Diego.  Plus, Brees likes his older receivers (McCardell) which is better than having a thing for younger dudes.

Javon Walker, GB.  Bye Week: 4

Let's remember that the last elite receiver who had this kind of injury (Anquan Boldin) returned after a full season to post 103 receptions.  Now, Walker is not the possession receiver that Boldin is, but Walker is the better red-zone target, which is a necessity since the Broncos lost their only goal-line back in Mike Anderson.  Javon has had a full season to recovery, so expect his numbers to rival those of his top 10 peers.  The "Flyin Hawaiian" has been grounded and the self-proclaimed "Greatest Receiver on the Planet" will give Shanahan the big target he has missed since Easy Ed's retirement.

Losers

Deion Branch, NE. Bye Week: 6

For a guy who hasn't had a 1,000 yard season in 4 seasons being drafted as a #2 fantasy receiver qualifies as a part of the Tom Brady effect.  Anyone who is associated with him goes up in value instantly, making believers out of the uninformed.  Fact is that Branch's career high in TD's is 5 and David Givens is no longer there to keep the double teams to a minimum.  Branch is also holding out, wanting a new deal, so his status for the start of the season is uncertain.  Just do like a tree and branch him alone (wait, that can't be right). 

Roy Williams, Det.  Bye Week: 8

Seeing him get drafted before the likes of Plaxico Burress, who had nearly twice as many yards, qualifies Williams as over-valued.  His physical tools are not in question, but he is as durable as a Pinto in a fender bender.  The quarterback situation has improved with the additions of Kitna and McCown, two players with successful starting experience.  Mike Martz's arrival can only help also, but I'm guessing he won't be able to help Williams' health issues, I mean, look at him!

Steve Smith, Car.  Bye Week: 9

How is Smith rated as the top receiver and Santana Moss is downgraded for the same reasons (size, additions at WR).  Smith most likely will have a good season, but will not qualify as the top receiver off the board and a first round pick.  Keyshawn will take away from Smith's TD total ultimately.  The Seahawks showed teams the way to limit Smith, making him fight off physical play at the line and keeping a safety from letting him go deep.  Smith should be drafted as a #1, just not as THE #1.

Tight End

Snoozers

Jerramy Stevens, Sea.  Bye Week: 5

The knee injury will scare off some owners, but don't let it scare you.  With Jurevicius gone to the Browns, Hasselbeck will need a tall target for those red zone passes he gets when Shaun Alexander needs a coffee break.  His yardage will likely stay near last year's total (554), but after scoring 5 TD's during Alexander's record season, an increase to 7 or 8 is likely, vaulting him into a borderline starting status.  Finally, someone who sees him as a starter after those 4 drops in the Super Bowl.

Kellen Winslow, Cle.  Bye Week: 6

Even though everyone sees him as a potential sleeper, he still goes late, having gone in the 12th round in a recent draft I participated in as a solid reserve.  With Braylon Edwards also returning from injury, anyone can come in as the #1 option as Charlie Frye hasn't developed a rapport with a receiver.  He has good hands and even if he lost some speed, will still be able to gain separation with his large frame.  That's what soldiers do, they fight back!

Losers

Tony Gonzalez, KC.  Bye Week: 3

I've had him on my team in the past, but this year won't be one of them.  His value is too high for a player with only 2 TD's last year and the emergence of other TE options.  Tony G is still picked within the first 4 rounds as the 2nd TE (Gates) taken overall.  Cheaper options are available in Shockey, Cooley, Witten, Crumpler, and Heap; all of whom will have very similar numbers by season's end.  The days of Gonzalez dunking on the goal post are becoming fewer and farther between.

Vernon Davis, SF.  Bye Week: 7

Alex Smith threw 1 TD last year, enough said.  I'll say more though, as Davis is the most athletic TE to come out since Kellen Winslow, but smarter.  There is no OL on this team, which may force Davis to do a lot of blocking, severely hurting his value.  Look on the bright side, maybe San Fran will do some gadget plays with Gore or Bryant throwing the ball to Davis.

Kickers

They are all the same, just pick one.

Defense

Snoozer

Seattle Seahawks, Bye Week: 5

The team led the league in sacks (50) and added Julian Peterson this offseason to slide in next to Lofa Tatupu and Leroy Hill.  Losing Hamlin and Dyson will hurt, but Michael Boulware and Mike Green will take over the safety spots will limited recourse.  If their interception numbers increase, then they will be a top 5 defense.

Loser

Baltimore Ravens

They continue to lose players and their INT went from 21 to 11 behind their makeshift secondary.  Samari Rolle was regularly burned and Ed Reed failed to make a difference without a Strong Safety making plays next to him.  The addition of Trevor Pryce may help, but Ray Lewis' contract demands might get in the way.  He is asking for a $50 million signing bonus, or over $1 million per tackle last year.