Watching the conference basketball tournaments this week, the first thing that jumped out at me  were the absolutely HIDEOUS new Nike uniforms.  They really reminded me of the old NC State (circa 1983) spandex uni's that are probably still causing Jim Valvano to roll over in his grave.  I hate these uniforms for a few reasons:

1) A tight shirt on a model is one thing.  A tight shirt like one of these on Glen "Big Baby" Davis would scare women and children and probably garner the first NC-17 rating for a college basketball game.

2) Just how freaking baggy do we really need shorts to be.  Now I don't think the "Stockton style" shorts should ever come back but these new Nike shorts make the Fab-Five look like the Celtics of the 50's!

3) I understand the aerodynamics needed for a track runner but since when is basketball played in a wind tunnel?  Are the elements so severe that the players need sleeves under their jerseys?  Isn't Joakim Noah funny looking enough on the court without wearing a spandex body suit?

I really hope this style dies out quickly just like so many other styles and fads in college and professional sports.  The following is my "Hall of Shame" of sports uniforms.  Now I'm not even going to get into color schemes and logos.  This is simply about styles, fabrics and other nasty deviations on conventional uniforms that (thankfully) came and went really quickly:

The White Sox Beer League Softball uniforms:  This has to be the first inductee into the Hall of Shame.  Although the White Sox played like a beer league softball team, they didn't really need to dress the part.

San Diego Padres Camo Uni's: okay, I said I was going to focus on materials, styles and trends, not colors or logos but this style was so freaking hideous that I needed to make an exception.

Jose Theodore wearing a toque on top of his helmet: Is it really that cold in an NHL arena or is he just trying to be funny.  Oh those crazy Canadiens!

Cooperalls!:  Back in the early 80's the Whalers and Flyers experimented with these full length hockey pants.  Thankfully they went the way of Jordache Jeans, Capezio shoes and parachute pants.  Come to think of it, they kind of resemble parachute pants!

Kentucky's Denim uniforms:  Kentucky tried the denim uni's and Georgetown tried Denim shorts for awhile.  Denim + Sports = A bad combination.                                                                                                                               

Texas A&M perverted crossing guard basketball uni's:  These were the Texas A&M basketball uniforms in the early 1900's.  With the hard shell knee pads, the white belts and the "X" design they really look like they are ready to serve as crossing guards or head out for a night on the town on the lower West Side of Manhattan.

Chad Johnson's Mural shoes: Ol' Ocho-Cinco really hit a new low with these family album print shoes.  Although CJ can't get away with these, maybe Pac Man Jones can do a pair like this with his mug shot photos.  Now THAT would be cool!

Satin Baseball Unis: Never adopted.  Thankfully.

NBA Basketball Tights: Combine these tights with the full length Ohio State jerseys from above and you can have players search arenas for asbestos after the game ends!

Asymetrical sleeves: Something else we need to thank Nike for.  Golly do I hate Nike right now.

Andre Agassi: Image really isn't everything.  The denim shorts, the wild headband, the short shorts with spandex underneath...what's not to love?

Well folks, this is my personal "Hall of Shame."  Who else do you think should be admitted to the club?