Please allow me to introduce myself
I'm a man of wealth and taste
I've been around for a few long years
Stole many a fans soul and faith
And I was round when Larry Brown
Had his moment of doubt and pain
Made damn sure that Isiah
Washed his hands and sealed his fate

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name
But what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my game

I stuck around in midtown
When I saw it was a time for a change
Killed Van Gundy and his ministers
Season ticket holders screamed in vain
I owned the bank
Cablevision stock sank
When the draft picks raged
And the draft picks stank

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name, oh yeah
Ah, what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, oh yeah

I watched with glee
While Francis and Marbury
Choked for 82 games
For the contracts we gave
I shouted out,
Who killed the championship teams?
When after all
It wasn't you, it was me

Let me please introduce myself
I'm a man of wealth and taste
And I drafted Balkman in 2006
another pick that was fueled in haste

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah
But what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, oh yeah, get down, baby
 
Just as every league has a laughingstock
And an owner that screams in vain
As heads is tails
Just call me...Jim
cause I'm in need of some restraint

So if you meet me
Have some courtesy
Have some sympathy, and some taste
Use all your well-learned politesse
Or I'll lay your team to waste, um yeah

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, um yeah
But what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, um mean it, get down
Allan HOU-STON...Allan HOU-STON
Oh yeah, get on down