For those of you keeping score at home:

QB-Tony Romo-broken pinky finger on throwing hand.  Could return in as soon as four weeks, but will be unable to drink tea at formal events until at least cotillion season.  Replacement will be Brad Johnson, formerly Joe Kapp's backup with the Vikings.  In a related note, Geritol stock up three eights at closing.

P-Mat McBriar-fractured bone on punting foot.  Could miss rest of the season, depending on how Cowboys manage to fill roster, and whether he finds and physically harms Tony Curtis.  Curtis is the Cowboy blocker who didn't.

TE-Tony Curtis-in hiding at undisclosed location.

CB-Adam "Pacman" Jones-suspended indefinitely.  Why?  Because Roger Goodale just doesn't like him.

RB-Felix Jones-Two weeks out with a hamstring injury.  Cowboy officials claim to be unaware of expiration of six game, 30 carry warranty.

LB-Anthony Spencer-Hamstring.  Has been working out on stationary bicycle.  No date set for his return, but he should be ready for Cowboys 2009 Tour de France team.

CB-Terrence Newman-Out four to six weeks after surgery for a sports hernia.  But don't worry, the Cowboys still have... Oh, sorry, never mind.

S-Roy Williams-The good news: he will be back in the next two weeks.  The bad news?  You guessed it.

G-Kyle Kosier-Should return soon after a foot injury heals.  Fortunately the injury will not impair his ability to turn and shout "look out", a key part of the Cowboy line's game plan against Arizona.

S-Keith Davis-Busted thumb.  No word whether he will miss any time.  After the game he was seen limping.  Unclear how this relates to thumb injury.  Possibly desparate cry for attention.

T-Flozell Adams-Shoulder.  Lost feeling in his arm for a time and his shoulder was heavily wrapped.  Ability to yell "look out" not impaired, so should play next week.

C-Andre Gurode-ankle.  Played every snap after reporting ankle injury previous week.  Failing to live up to his injury potential.

S-Pat Watkins-neck.  Team says his lack of contact over the past two weeks means he should be ready for the Cardinals.  Implication unclear.

WR-Sam Hurd-ankle.  Out for season after reinjuring ankle.  Cowboys trade 1st, 3rd, and 6th round picks to Detroit for Roy Williams and encourage WR Isiah Stanback to not purchase home in Dallas.  Move should not impact offense, but does fufill Jerry Jones dream to acquire every player named Roy Williams in NFL.

Other injuries, not yet reported by the team.

Owner-Jerry Jones-Bitten by land shark which knocked on door of Jones' office with candy gram.

Squeeze-Jessica Simpson.  Listed as probable for next week's game.  Has not adjusted to Brad Johnson, calling him Mr. Johnson and occasionally "dad".  Publicists are evaluating Romo's injury, the length of time out of the news, to determine if Simpson-Romo relationship remains viable.

Coach-Wade Phillips.  Sleep disorder.  Appeared to briefly wake up during loss to Arizona.