After an exhaustive search of available team names by the NBA's marketing firm (Dull & Bland) six possible names for the Oklahoma City Sonics have been proposed.

Drum roll please.

Thunder. Bisons. Energy. Marshalls. Wind. Barons.

I have this theory a stoner came up with the names. Picture David Stern in his office as Jason, a 22 year old intern, comes in to pitch the choices.

"Dude, here's what I got on the name thing. Oklahoma is like really flat and it blows. I mean the wind. And there's thunder and stuff, too. It's got a real energy, man. It's like the marshal told me when he was shoving my head down so I wouldn't hit it in the back of the cruiser. I think it was like, a LeBaron or Baron or something. I was freaking out because they had these really weird looking cows they called bison. I thought I was tripping so I just turned myself in and after they tazed me and stuff, I told them I worked for the NBA and they let me go. So, I think we should call the team the Tazers. Could you sign this so I get my credit for summer school?"

If I had to pick one of the names it would be the Barons. Considering how the team came to Oklahoma City I'd expand that to the Robber Barons. Or the Sterns. Maybe the Heist.

Energy, wind, and thunder sound too much like Earth, Wind, and Fire to me. Earth, Wind, and Fire is taken already but I'm fairly sure you could get Bootsy Collins to sign away the rights to Parliament or Funkadelic. In fact, I'm thinking the Oklahoma City Funkadelic would be a great name. You could even shorten it to The Funk.

That might be a bit much for Oklahoma City. Oklahoma means "red people", but unfortunately the white people ran the red people out of large parts of the plains states. The Oklahoma "Uninvited Guests" wouldn't work on souvenir jerseys.

The whole baron thing sounds a little too elitist for my taste. But if you want a cattle theme, how about the Oklahoma City Moo. "Down 5 with 1:37 the Moo cross mid court and into the Celtics zone." Could work. And talk about disrupting the free throw shooter. You're down one with time running out and have to sink two from the line with 18,000 people all yelling "Moo" at the top of their lungs.

Oklahoma has two major drainage basins, so the OKC Drainage could work. "OK, men, we got to get the ball back. Now go out there and stop the Drainage."

Animals are always a safe bet. Oklahoma is blessed with a diversity of wild life that ensures a variety of nick names. There's the Prairie Chickens, River Otter, and Pheasant to name a few. The Armadillo is a personal favorite of mine, but for some reason nobody ever uses the name.

Oklahoma has nearly 200 lakes, so Lakers would be a natural choice, if it wasn't already being used. Maybe Oklahoma could trade Kevin Durant to the Lakers for the rights to the name. It would be a better deal than Memphis got for Pau Gasol, and I suspect Commissioner Stern would have no problem approving it.

In the end, the best name for Oklahoma City's NBA franchise is the Why? As in, why would anybody move a NBA team to Oklahoma? A few years down the road, once the novelty has worn off, it may be a question the NBA ends up asking itself.