Who are pulling for in the Super Bowl?

Everybody asks that of their friends and most people have a ready answer.  The Patriots have alot of newly minted fans (the same sort of people who suddenly discovered they were Duke fans when Coach K came to town).  Giants fans have been there all along, but mostly quiet since Bill Parcells left town. 

The rest of us?

Cowboys fans (and I've been one for years) have been too busy trying to find enough tabasco sauce to cover the taste of crow to worry about picking a Super Bowl favorite.  There doesn't seem to be the kind of bad feeling against the Giants we reserve for the Redskins and Eagles.  As for the Patriots, I doubt most of us felt a rivalry with the Belicheckians since nobody in the league is really in New England's league.

Do you have to pull for a team to enjoy watching the game?

A resounding yes.  We all say we like football, but without a team to pull for the air goes out of the balloon.  The game goes from grand passion to lab experiment.  If you're like me you always find a team to pull for, even if it's Detroit versus Arizona.  If we're going to throw away three perfectly good hours of our lives, it needs to be for an event we are emotionally invested in.

New England or New York?  Do I have to choose?

Which coach do I like better?   Mussolini or Stalin, I mean Coughlin or Belichick?  That is a true draw.  One is an arrogant so and so, the other just down right mean.  Call it even.

Quarterback.  This should be easy.  Eli Manning, all-American boy versus Tom Brady, the guy we all hated in high school for dating all the girls who were out of our league.  But Manning had to go and grow that junior league porn star mustache.  What is he hiding?  I look at Eli Manning's future and see poor Payton giving him a priceless pep talk in a Mexican jail.  A draw.

The Randy Moss factor.  This tips in favor of the team that doesn't have Randy Moss on their roster.  I'm sure it's been said before, but why don't the Giants just issue a sideline pass to the woman who has the restraining order against him and have her stand in the end zone?  Of course, all that would do is ensure that Welker gets four TD catches.  Edge-Giants.

Brandon Jacobs.  I am so sick of seeing him throwing footballs in the end zone after he scores.  What I want to see is the Patriots stop Jacobs at the one and throw him head first into the Giants logo on the end zone wall.  Advantage New England.

Jeff Feagles.  When he was young and Ben Franklin was shagging punts for him after school, Feagles never thought he'd be in the Super Bowl.  Most likely he didn't think he'd live to be 250 years old and play every year since the inception of the NFL.  OK, I may have one or two of the details wrong, but Feagles is old.  Really, really old.  I can relate to that.  Score one for the Giants.

Cheating.  The Patriots are the KGB of football, and Belichick their Vladimir Putin.  Look at the Patriots roster.  People keep disappearing.  People who crossed Belichick.  I have to admire and respect that.  Seriously, I have to admire and respect that.  Now maybe that van with Massachusetts plates that's been parked across the street the last three days will go away.  Points go to the Patriots.

Helmets.  The New York Giants logo is old school but very cool.  The Patriots logo looks like the emblem of some sort of cult.  (Ever wonder why Belichick wears that hood)?  Advantage NYG.

Cities.  They filmed parts of "Sex and the City" in New York.  Tom Brady is doing the sequel in Boston.  Score-Patriots.

Perfection.  The Dolphins are the only team to run the table in the NFL.  Undefeated and Super Bowl champions.  And they did it with Earl Morral, whose crew cut was way cooler than the Tom Brady sheep dog look.  If the Pats lose, the Dolphins win.  Put a check by the Giants.

Heart Warming Human Interest Story.  Rodney Harrison of the Patriots, who overcame a four game suspension for using performance enhancing drugs to make it to the big game.  Think of it as a pharmacological version of "Rudy".  Edge-New England.

Let's tally this up.  Four for the Giants, four for New England, two draws.  Right back where we started from.

Help me out here.  Who do I pull for?