Here we go.

The New York Mets had a three time all-star catcher. Paul LoDuca. They were paying him about six and a quarter extra large, which is what I call $6.25 million after I've watched too many Sopranos reruns. Capice?

Now LoDuca is a home town guy from Brooklyn but the Mets think they can do better. They can't, but that's not the point. The point is LoDuca owns thoroughbred horses and associates with people who bet on horses, and maybe other sporting events, which makes the Mets nervous.

Mind you, the Metropolitans didn't seem to notice when they had a clubhouse attendant running a steroid pharmacy in their club house, but these days you can't be too careful about the company you keep.

So Oscar Minaya bids LoDuca a not so fond farewell and sets about finding a replacement.

The catcher the Mets wanted was Yorvit Torrealba. The prospect of having a catcher whose name sounds like you have a mouth full of food was too good to pass up. YT hung that huge two five five with eight dingers and forty-seven ribbies in Rock City last season (which is how I talk after accidently listening to just ten minutes of Rich Rome). Guys like that don't come by every day. They come along every other day and sometimes twice on Thursday, but that's neither here nor there.

Torrealba wouldn't sign for the $14.3 million over 3 years the Mets offered. Instead he held out for a two year, $6.75 million deal with Colorado. This should be enough for him to buy a really good pocket calculator, after which he'll probably also get a new agent.

Back to square one.

Guillermo Mota didn't do much to earn his paycheck last season and there is some doubt as to whether he is an example of better pitching through chemistry. Boom, out goes $3.2 million worth of the kind of trouble you don't need. In comes a catcher, a $3.4 million Johnny Estrada.

For those of you keeping score at home, the Mets are now up $6.3 million and have filled the catcher spot. We'll assume Mota will be replaced by some $2 million piece of veteran free agent flotsam and jetsam, but New York is still up $4.3 million. Plus, they have a catcher so the ball won't keep rolling to the back stop every time the Mets pitchers throw the ball. At least most of the time. Estrada also gives the Mets a capable hitter to replace LoDuca.

Still, you have to wonder when someone is traded from Atlanta to Arizona and Arizona to Milwaukee and Milwaukee to the Mets in less time than Michael Vick is probably going to be sentenced to. Me thinks something is rotten in Denmark, (the new Hamlet DVD is out, don't ask).

In 2007 Estrada had physical problems with his knee, and personality problems with Milwaukee manager Ned Yost. There was a big blowup in the dugout and the Brewers wanted Estrada out bad enough to sign Jason Kendall, which is pretty bad. Kendall took a $9 million pay cut to sign, the market for .242 hitting catchers not being what it once was.

"Johnny adds depth to our catching situation," Minaya said in a statement. "He's a former All-Star who switch hits and has hit over .300 three times in his career [counting 2003, when Estrada had only 36 at-bats and hit .306]."

That's what Minaya said ten days ago. Here's what he said today, announcing the acquisition of Nationals catcher Brian Schneider and outfielder Ryan Church in exchange for outfield prospect Lastings Milledge:

"I thought we needed to change it up a little," New York general manager Omar Minaya said. "Names like Schneider and Church are not known names, but they give us balance." It is thought the Mets will now drop or trade Estrada, especially since they are paying two catchers $7 million to replace LoDuca, which is the exact amount they couldn't afford to continue paying him.

Now then. The only way Schneider could start something with a bat in his hand would be if someone gave him another bat and he rubbed them together to start a fire. Milledge is either a sure fire prospect who will be a big star or a head case who will end up working at Big Star. You roll the dice, you take your chances.

Church hit 15-70-.272 in a very big park (RFK stadium) and should be a positive addition for the Mets. But his career best year came at age 28 and his upside may be what we saw in '07.

At the end of the day, these deals aren't about getting the Mets players they like. They are about getting rid of two players (LoDuca and Milledge) they didn't like. And if it took a $7 million trip to the land of a thousand catchers to be rid of them, then so be it.

Take this to the bank (but don't let them sign you to a flexible mortgage). The Mets now are weaker at catcher, they have a hole in their bullpen you could bury an elephant in, and they let go of maybe the best young outfield prospect in baseball, all in exchange for two broken down catchers and Ryan Church.

What we know about these deals is largely unknown. What is unknown is knowable, but not immediately. What cannot be known is not knowable, even by those in the know. We don't know how many unknown variables are at play.

All I know is I have to stop watching that "Best of Donald Rumsfeld DVD" I ordered online from National Review, and the Mets may miss the playoffs again next year if this keeps up.