I think I have this "Blog of the Day" thing figured out.

Got home today and there it was. The Dudski avatar right there at the top of the page. A moment of sheer excitement rivaled only by receiving notice in the mail from the Publisher's Clearing House that I might be a winner. (I've left the porch light on in case Ed McMahon has trouble finding my house when they bring me the BIG check).

Now, this is the point where I'm supposed to say that I don't care about Blog of the Day. How I write for the pleasure of writing, for the wonderful friends I've met, for the hope that someone who is down on their luck will read my blog and step back from life's abyss and find a reason to carry on.

Not bloody likely.

Of course I want to win Blog of the Day. Picture a grown man punching his fist in the air and shouting "Blog of the Day....Blog of the Day", spiking his mouse into the keyboard, and doing the Lambeau leap into the recliner. OK, I'm not that man, but at the same time there is a reason there will never be a web cam attached to this blog.

If, like me, you could build a bonfire of your vanities (wait, I think someone used that already) and actually want to win Blog of the Day, here are a few suggestions:

Save your good stuff for a day when LisaH isn't posting. I can give you about 72,000 reasons why, based on the click counter on her blog. My site meter is up above around 60,000 but you have to keep in mind that about 59,000 clicks came when I accidentally learned the biggest BOTD secret.

Sex sells.

Posted a bunch of pictures of NBA cheerleaders with funny captions underneath. That got about 59,000 of my 60,000 clicks over a two day period. Why? Well, it sure wasn't the captions. Most of the comments I got were of the Homer Simpson variety. "Hmmm....cheerleaders". There was this one photo of a Boston Celtics cheerleader...well, here see for yourself

http://community.foxsports.com/blogs/Dudski/2007/11/12/Shameless_NBA_Cheeleader_Photo_Blog_Entry

Truth is, she should have gotten blog of the day.

Where was I? Oh, yeah, how to get "blog of the day".

You need to pick a day hardly anybody is posting. This appears to be Saturday or Sunday (which explains my BOTD honor today). Many people spend time with their wives, (well somebody's wives), on the weekends. They shop, visit, have hobbies, attend games, and go to church. What they don't do is blog. That's why your best chance of getting Blog of the Day is on the weekend.

Most posting and blog reading occurs on week days. Ironically, on week days during business hours. When people are supposed to be working. Go figure. I've never actually seen the people who work for me posting a blog, but I am suspicious that some of the entries on the "My Boss Is A Useless Waste Of A Paycheck" website sound a great deal like things I've said at work.

Which brings us to timing. I post around 8 PM after I've gotten off work and burned what might have turned out to be an edible meal. No good. Since I got the site meter, I've discovered that most people are reading my blog between 11 a.m. and 2 p.m. That's especially true if you end up in the Funhouse.

The FOX Funhouse takes our blogs and moves them to part of the main FOX website with the real writers (and most of the real live readers). It is posted mid day when your prime audience (people googling cheerleaders-well, not literally googling them, but, well, anyway) is available, and is a great way to get your blog noticed. If you think they might be missing your best efforts you can even e-mail them at foxfunhouse@hotmail.com.

The Fun House gets alot of readers. Take this young lady for example. She was featured on a recent Fun House. Remember Rule #1.



Where was I again?

Oh. Timing. As I was pointing out, when I post late in the evening I don't see the old site meter clicker moving very rapidly. However, the over seas audience does increase. Which is why one of my next blogs is going to be called, "I Don't Know Why You Say Dubai, I Say Hello".

Which brings me to pandering to your audience. You should. If they hate Barry Bonds you should hate Barry Bonds. If they want the Nebraska coach fired, YOU want the Nebraska coach fired. If they want to take up arms against the government. Well, at least write another Bonds blog.

Finally, you must have a catchy headline for your blog. Look at the headlines on the papers you see at the check out counter when you buy groceries. Learn from them how to reach out and grab your audience. A few suggestions:

Steroid Allegations Cause Bonds Anorexia Relapse.

Brian Urlacher Cries On Sidelines After Learning Of Pet Adoption Snafu

Terrell Owens Abducted by Space Aliens-Then Quickly Returned

Secret Brady/Romo Pact-You Take Hollywood, I'll Take Nashville.

The Shocking Reason Brian Griese Was Voted Off "Who Wants to be the Bears QB"

With just these few tips you too can know the thrill of being "Blog of the Day". Start writing now. Today could be your day.

And if not, there's always next Sunday.