It's college football season and boy howdy we're all hankerin' to hunker down on the couch this Saturday and watch em' have at it.

Oops. That was Keith Jackson's column. Let me start over. Hang on a second. Got to take a sip of Gatorade.

First of, I love college football. My favorite team is Navy and I STILL like college football. That's not exactly fair. The Blue and Gold have been behaving like a real college team the last few seasons. Won some big games, went to a couple of bowls, even had some players charged with sexual assault.

But I'm a cynic. A Dashiel Hammett novel kind of guy who believes bad things about the world. For example, I imagine Andy Rooney knew exactly what he was saying when he made the remark about all the Rodriquez' in baseball. The man is 88 years old. You don't get to 88 without knowing what you're saying and saying what you know. It's just the way it is.

Which brings me to the University of Southern California Trojans and the law of averages. I'm not picking on them because their program is any worse than the next guy's. That's kind of the problem. They're not. Nor, are they much better.

Now if you make a statement like that you need to offer some evidence in support of your position. Which brings me to the USC drinking game.

Next time you watch the Trojans and there's a big hit on an opposing runner, take a drink if the announcers say, "and he's majoring in sociology". Keep your official USC program near by just in case the guys calling the game forget. And make sure to chill several six packs of your beverage of choice. You'll need them.

Sometime about midway through the first quarter you'll feel a sort of pleasant buzz. By the end of the quarter the world will be your friend. Near halftime you can hear the roar of the ocean and you aren't holding a shell to your ear. During the third quarter you'll be hugging the porcelain wishing well and talking about that Wyatt Earp movie you saw. Forget the 4th quarter, you'll be passed out by then. If you have a medic alert bracelet you may want to put it on ahead of time.

For fun I counted the declared majors on the USC football website. There were 33 juniors and seniors with majors listed and 22 of them were sociology majors. Which makes you wonder.

When Pete Carroll gets ready to recruit his 11th or 12th high school All-American tailback does he first sit down with the young man and his parents and ask if the student athlete thinks he can take down Comte and Weber in the open field? "Son, we're just a little deep at the physical sciences this year, but if you're willing to switch to sociology we might can work something out."

It may just be a remarkable coincidence. Peer pressure. All the cool kids are taking sociology, so it becomes a trend. California is where trends start and maybe sociology is the next big thing. Or maybe there is some sort of sociology cult on campus and the football team has been lured in.

Maaaaaaaybeeeee. Just maybe there is another reason. Maybe the deal is that you take sociology because the coach knows and the sociology department knows and the players soon know that if you want to stay eligible that's your major.

You got another theory?

Mine is that most of the 22 sociology majors are at USC believing they will go to the NFL and not have to worry about majors or how they relate to future employment. The problem is that even at USC over half of them are wrong. Of the other 11, 4 had the right idea and 7 are someday going to wonder what you do with a sociology degree and not like the answers.

Does that make USC an outlaw school? Pete Carroll a West Coast version of Steve Spurrier? Not at all. It makes them an example of the system the NCAA has created. It's not pretty, it's not right, it doesn't have much of anything to do with college or academics. And if you think your favorite school is any different, go to their website and in about 10 minutes you'll figure out what the football major is there. It's just the way it is in college sports.

And that's a darn shame.