Can anyone here play this game?

Eighty-five missed shots.  Just 18 points off the fast break, but 38 off turnovers.  Nineteen free throws made.  Fifteen missed. 

Pistons 79 Cavaliers 76.

NBA Baskeball it's.....the greatest sleep aid since Sominex.

Brand me a hater.  Tell me I just don't get it.  Talk to me about defensive intensity.  I don't care.  Just wake me when this series is over.  And while you're at it, leave a wake up call for the sleep walkers I saw last night on the floor.

Except for Rasheed Wallace, who actually appeared to care.  Who made some big time moves with the game on the line.  Who appeared to have a clue.

It starts with the coaches.  Mike Brown of the Cavaliers looks like Al Roker of the Today Show having some sort of breakdown.  Throughout the Detroit series he's managed to do what no NBA player guarding LeBron James did during the regular season.  He's shut King James down. 

The Cavaliers offense looks like it came from an over 50 recreational league.  Walk the ball down the court.  Stand around while everyone catches their breath.  Dribble around a little.  Fire one up from twenty feet.  Walk back down to the other end of the court.

Then there is the electrifying talent that is LeBron James.  Most of the night he stood around on the left side of the offense like a man waiting at a subway platform.  Give him a hat, a brief case, and a ticket for Midtown.  He'll fit right in.  Occasionally he got the ball and drove to his right to get a basket or a foul.  It's a nice move, and even sort of entertaining the first three or four times you see it.  Then you realize that, at least for tonight, this is it.  That was his move.  Wow.  Contain my excitement.

The Pistons are lucky to be up 2-0.  Granted, they play hard on defense and there is some talent, but the offense runs like an old refrigerator shuddering to a stop at the end of the freeze cycle right before the compressor blows.  It appears that Flip Saunders has installed the offense he ran at Golden Valley Lutheran College.

Offenses should be easily described.  "Electrifying".  "Precision".  "Aggressive".

Here are some verbs for the Detroit Pistons offense.  "Somnolent".  "Inert". "Misfiring."

Chauncey Billips,  a legitimate scoring threat, took just 7 shots and waited until the 4th quarter to start playing.  Tayshaun Prince was 0-8.  Rip Hamilton packed 18 minutes of production into 37 minutes of playing time.  I suppose those performances were because Cleveland was so "intense" on defense?

This series will stumble on and one team, likely Detroit, will win.  LeBron James can go back to worrying about becoming an "international icon" and selling tennis shoes.  And San Antonio can take the NBA Championship trophy back to Texas. 

It's life in the slow lane.  The Pistons and Cavaliers are driving 35.  Pull over and get some lunch.  These guys aren't going anywhere soon.