If you memory extends only back to Curt Cobain musically you probably don't remember the Byrds, Beatles, or Ed Sullivan. Your loss. But let me assure you, we have a wonderful collection of entertainers for you today. A really, really, big shoe...(hey, that's what I always heard).

Hand over your quarterback and nobody gets hurt. The Miami Dolphins want Trent Green of Kansas City to be their quarterback in 07'. The Chiefs want rid of his salary. But the Fish don't want one of the top five passers of the last five seasons bad enough to give up more than a 6th round draft pick. Yeah, and maybe KC should include the plane he flies to Miami on. More salary cap madness. Teams are making contract decisions instead of football decisions and somehow we're supposed to be happy with pariocrity.

But, they're his dogs! Clinton Portis of the Redskins showed how far the divide is between the NFL and a sizeable number of it's players, with his impassioned defense of Michael Vick against charges of dog fighting. No word from Portis yet on the ethics of the Ron Mexico incident, plastic bottles with hidden compartments, and obscene gestures. Something tells me he's OK with those as well.

Quote of the day. Jason Giambi on steroids (well, not ON steroids, but on the TOPIC of steroids in July 2002). It is ''blown way out of proportion. Guys have a lot of talent and take pride in what they do,'' Giambi said. ''Particularly for me, guys who work hard all year round, now that's why you're hitting homers? If you're going to do that, how far are you going to go back? Reggie Jackson. Was he on them? It gets kind of ridiculous to speculate until we have some kind of way to go through it.'' Reached for comment today on the breaking amphetamine story, Giambi reportedly accused Ty Cobb of being a speed freek and stormed off without answering further questions.

But the X-Ray vision is wearing off. Tiger Woods is going back for additional lasik surgery because some of his old eyesight problems have returned. Reports now coming in of heavy drinking by pro golfers after they realized Woods vision and depth perception would be improved by the surgery, and that he was playing at a disadvantage until now. Yikes!

Love those headlines. "Steelers release Gardocki". I guess his family paid the ransom.

It's rigged, I tell you, rigged. The NBA is leaning on Portland and Seattle to take part in it's welfare for millionaires program by building the owners of those teams new stadiums. Guess who wins the Oden-Durant sweepstakes? Portland (5.3% chance for 1st pick) and Seattle (9.65% chance of getting 2nd pick). I was no math major, but the odds of those two teams getting the top two picks were the same as those of David Stern recording a rap CD (or about 1/2 of 1% if you do the math). I smell a rat.

So easy a caveman could do it. Wonder if those cavemen on the commercials would finish in the top 10 if they drove for Hendrick Motor Sports? A trained ape? The winner of a reality TV show? How about one of the drivers from the 30-43 spot in the field? The problem is that we don't know if Jeff Gordon, Jimmie Johnson, Kyle Busch, or Casey Mears are really that much better than their competitors. The top of NASCAR's field each week is being determined by engineers and testing time, and that's a prescription for lower fan interest.

If all you know about horses you learned watching Mr. Ed on TV...Do yourself a favor and go to one of the good tracks and catch some horse racing. It's not the Super Bowl, World Series, or NBA finals but then again there's nothing in any of those that compares with standing by the rail and listening to the thunder of the field coming down the home stretch. The Preakness last week was a great race to watch on TV, but when they say "You have to be there." they are telling the truth.

And finally, the Boston Celtics.