If you're just logging into the Fox Sports webpage, you're probably seeing the breaking news scroll that says that Manny Ramirez of the Dodgers was suspended for 50 games for violating baseball's susbtance abuse policy. stunnin, ain't it, Stevo? But seriously, what a shocker; a baseball player cheated to get great numbers. What's next? Well, that's why I'm here! Here are the next ten shocking secrets that will get exposed sooner rather than later:

10. Alex Rodriguez had an illicit affair... with Selena Roberts!: How do you think she found out he's a lousy tipper at Hooters!

9. Stephen A. Smith actually made a point at some point in his ESPN career!: That would be the headline story on SportsCenter if it occurs!

8. Allen Iverson joins the Boston Celtics and tries to emulate Stephon Marbury!: Oh, that will be the day. As likely as the queen of England getting a piercing on her chest!

7. Brett Favre retires! For the 4,000 time!: I'll believe it when I see it.

6. For the first time in NBA history, the referees went through a game without showing home-court bias!: Yeah, and Tim Donaghy didn't bet on games!

5. It wasn't Charles Barkley who lost big in Vegas; it was Kenny Smith! Chuck just covered for him!: And he knocked out the guard with his terrible golf swing!

4. The Yankees slash the cost of prime seats at the new Yankee Stadium to $15!: And you'll get personal financial advice from Bernie Madoff!

3. Tracy McGrady stops being greedy, and his new team wins in the 1st round!: I'd actually like to see AI and T-Mac on the same team, and start a duel over who gets the ball!

2. LeBron James isn't the best player on the Cavs; it's really Joe Smith!: That's my "Skip Bayless Make an #### out of Yourself" tribute pick!

And finally...

1. Shaquille O'Neal is really Kobe Bryant's father!: That would be a Luke Skywalker/Darth Vader moment! And Kobe, like Luke, would fall off the platform after it!

That's my humorous take on the latest steroids-related baseball story. Until next time, don't take Propecia!

Time for me to stretch my sports wings again after a long period of inactivity! And to do that, I'll ramble off some Random Sports Thoughts!

Brett Favre and Brad Childress will meet in Mississippi tonight and tomorrow to discuss his return. Just so he can continue his "Best Attempts to Destroy my Legacy" tour!

Before Packers fans begin to rip Brett, it could have been worse. He could have joined the Lions!

Does anybody else wonder if Favre should've been a boxer? I mean, he's retired more times than Floyd Mayweather!

The Nuggets smashed the Mavs to take a 2-0 lead in their series. Nice to see the good, old Mavs we've come to know and loathe!

Cleveland handily beat Atlanta last night, and LeBron had a big scoring game. In the immortal words of Drew Rosenhaus, "Next question!"

Yankees fans booed manager Joe Girardi and chanted for Joe Torre's return as the Yanks lost to Boston for the fifth straight time. Well, if Billy Martin could do it (again... and again... and again), then Torre can!

The Dodgers are a MLB-record tying 12-0 at home. And who says thay Manny being Manny isn't good for the team?

The Lakers resume their series with the Rockets tonight. For Uber's sake, win this game, Lakers!

The Red Wings were robbed of a chance at OT by the refs last night against Anaheim. Who was refereeing the game, Tim Donaghy?

Charles Barkley said that he thinks Denver will win the NBA title. In related news, David Stern suspended Barkley without pay for conduct detrimental to the league.

And finally...

I'm going to try and revive last year's popular series where I jot down my thoughts while watching the NBA playoff games. It sounds more fun than doing it for UEFA Champions Soccer. Just take a look:

"0:00: the game has begun!
90:00: it's a scoreless tie! Dammit! Where's the action?

Yeah, basketball is much more fun!

Take care, everybody!

www.downsproball.weebly.com

Well, as many regular Fox bloggers know, I am used to dealing with losing. I went to Lions games last year, for pete's sake! So, it seems I'm like a magnet for bad stuff. That's why I'm so enthusiastic today; I'm going to see King James! Yes, I've got tickets to game 4 today between the Cleveland Cavaliers and the roadkill known as the Detroit Pistons.

Watching parts of the previous three games (they were great for insomnia, you know!), it has become obvious that Cleveland is the favorite to win the Eastern Conference. James has played spectacular, and after touting Dwayne Wade as MVP, these games allowed me to accept the King as MVP. He is the kind of talent that comes along only every so often, and the way he makes the Cavs better is remarkable. Heck, in game 3, the ultimate journeyman, Joe Smith, had a career playoff-high 19 points (and he's been in the league since 1995!). Cleveland is legit.

As for the Pistons; it's well known how I feel about them. I hate coach Michael Curry, and if (or when; I'll correct myself) they lose today, that should be enough to get him the boot IMO. But I realize that won't happen; in a complete 180 turn, I'll say he'll get off without a scratch, and the players will take the full blame for this season's collapse. Rasheed Wallace will FINALLY get let go (he's long overdue), as will the other retreads, and they'll continue to start over. That will begin today, when Cleveland wins by at least 15 and sweep them. Bring on Dandy Don to sing "The Party's Over" when it's done.

Now, on a sidenote, I've got a channel on Youtube that has recently gotten more traffic as I've finally gotten a great DVD ripper and have posted videos. Although a few are game show related (it's my dad's name on the channel, so don't ask me "Why are you 52 years old there?" That's my dad's info, but I run the channel!), the vast majority are NBA videos. So far, I've uploaded three parts of the 1975 NBA Finals game 1, the intros to both games 1 & 2 of the 1989 NBA Finals (you know why!), the ENTIRE 1st half of the infamous "Memorial Day Massacre" that was game 1 of the 1985 NBA Finals (I have a feeling Bleed's gonna hate me after this!), and the Ralph Sampson fight with Jerry Sichting in game 5 of the 1986 NBA Finals. If you're interested, I'll post a link below. And more NBA videos will be up soon! Take care. everybody!

http://www.youtube.com/DownsA530

You know something? I'm often left in awe of the unusual stuff that I find when I look things up. The stats that, when you see them, you shake your head and say "how?". so, when I updated by basketball site (www.downsproball.weebly.com), some of those stats showed up. Here are a few that I found most amazing:

-Stephon Marbury (yeah, the selfish (until playing for Boston) man who personifies me-first) is 20th in NBA history in assists (more than Jerry West and Scottie Pippen, among many HOFers)

-Buck Williams has more rebounds than Charles Barkley, Shaquille O'Neal, Bob Pettit, Charles Oakley and Dennis Rodman

-The player who has scored the most career points while playing for one team? John Havlicek, followed by Reggie Miller, West and Kobe Bryant (where's Sizzel with KOBEEEEE!)

-Hakeem Olajuwon is top-ten in all-time steals (8th at 2,162), ahead of such steals specialists as Alvin Robertson, Mookie Blaylock, Magic Johnson, Isiah Thompson (dammit, Isiah Thomas!) and Allen Iverson.

-Shawn Bradley has only one more block (2,119) than Tim Duncan. So much for being seven foot six!

-Mike Brown (the recent Coach of the Year winner) is the first Cavs coach to win the award since Bill Fitch in 1975-76.

-Shaq has won the FG% title ten times (he led the league this years among qualifiers with a 60.9% clip).

-Anthony Morrow became the first rookie to ever lead the league in 3-point percentage (46.7%)

Those are just some of the things that make me a sports nut. Anyhow, if you want more of those stats, check out my site. Also, in more shameless self-promotion; Ubershorty has started a new site (www.thebasketballoracle.webs.com) where I have a forum where I can answer your questions about anything stats-related (or not, if you prefer). Check them both out! And if you call right now, you'll get the Mighty Putty Super-Duper Kit for only three payments of... dammit, I'm not Billy Mays! Take care, everybody!

The above title is a play on words of an oft-heard slogan for the Detroit Pistons. Since 2001-02, they've used that slogan to tell their fans that no team will outwork them, that they will hustle and fight until the bitter end. That work ethic led the Pistons to six straight conference finals appearences, two NBA Finals, and a world championship. But yesterday, Pistons fans saw what so many others around the country have; that the slogan is antiquated.

Yesterday, the Pistons slogged their way to another embarassing loss, losing 102-84 to the hungier. determined, and most importantly, better Cleveland Cavaliers. It was really sad to see what this team has been reduced to. They always say a picture tells a thousand words. What about that picture of Rasheed "Time has passed me by" Wallace and Antonio McDyess (since he's been decent this year, I won't belittle him) looking like a school bully stole their lunch money? That told a million words! This team has already packed their bags for summer vacation. Where's Don Meredith when you need him? "Turn out the lights; the party's over! They say all good things must come to an end!". Now it's time for finger-pointing; who is responsible for this?

Let's look at some stats from yesterday's disaster:

-LeBron James came two boards and three assists shy of a triple-double (38 points, eight rebounds, seven assists)
-The Cavs had 24 assists to the Pistons' 15
-The Cavs shot 53% from the field
-Kwame Brown got 16 minutes of action, compared to nine for a better reserve (Jason Maxiell)
-The Cavs had just four turnovers
-Kwame Brown played (I'm sorry; I had to mention that twice!)

Those are just some of what bothers me today. So, it's obvious where blame goes; Joe and Michael, come on down! You're the next contestants on "Who Wants to Destroy a Great Team"!

Joe Dumars started the ball of wax rolling by trading Chauncey Billups for the NBA's TO (Team Obliterator), Allen Iverson. I said when it happened that it was fitting a square peg into a round hole, and that peg destroyed the hole; Iverson's isolation (offensively and with the team) divided the team, and he ruined Richard Hamilton with his selfishness. In turn, the team got on edge trying to avoid Iverson's bombastic persona. And Dumars did nothing positive to change this team before the AI trade went down. IMO, he messed up big.

But nothing he did or didn't do was worse than hiring Michael Curry as coach (all together now; ahahahahahahahahahahahaha!). I've tried to be as gentle as I could when being critical of Curry, but I can't anymore. He is a terrible coach on the par with Isiah Thompson... dammit, Isiah Thomas! And Thomas is actually a better coach! Curry has the passion of a rock on the street, and he has as much ability calling plays as I do! He also must have learned from the Rod Marinelli school of interviews; "We'll just practice harder and try to play better"! I'll just come out and say it; I hate him! I hated him as a severely below-average (alright, I'm sorry; horrific!) player who couldn't score two points if left undefended for an entire game, and I hate him as a coach who can't settle on a rotation (Kwame playing more than Maxiell? What's he smoking!) and who can't define what roles players have.

Now that I've spewed my venom, here's what should happen after the Pistons get swept by Cleveland (can I change my games predicition, Mike?). Dumars should fire Curry immediately after the season and hire a coach who can (drumroll, please?) actually coach. Look at Dallas; they brought Rick Carlisle back from ESPN oblivion, and he coached them to a 50-win season when nobody expected it (hey, Joe; didn't you fire him in 2003? Can you get a mulligan?). Bring in Avery Johnson; he took Dallas to the Finals, and he's lightyears ahead of Curry. Then, get rid of AI, Rasheed, McDyess (again, nothing against him; he's just too old) and Kwame, and bring in fresh blood. Now, more than ever, it's time for the Pistons to really go to work!