NBA Stars of Yesterday
Michael Jordan
Magic Johnson
Larry Bird
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
Bill Russell
Wilt Chamberlain
Julius Erving
Isiah Thomas
Charles Barkley
Elgin Baylor
Moses Malone
Oscar Robertson
Jerry West
Scottie Pippen
Willis Reed

Downs: Alright, teams. You've made it through the first day...
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Downs: ...and now we'll start the second day with new challenges!
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Downs: Today's first challenge is unique; we'll have a wrestling match...
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Downs: And we mean like TV wrestling; no holds barred action! Teams, you'll pick three participants, and whichever team wins get immunity for its chosen participants. Go ahead and choose your teams!

(The Legends choose Chamberlain, Barkley and Reed. Today's team argue for several minutes, mainly between Kobe and LeBron, before choosing Howard, LeBron and Yao.)

Downs: Alright, teams. Choose who goes first.
(jingle): Sponsored by who's on 1st, what's on 2nd, and I don't know's on 3rd!

(The first matchup is Yao vs Barkley.)

Downs: Start!

(Barkley gains an early advantage when Yao attempts to slam him, but rips up his back because Barkley is too heavy. Barkley takes a wooden folding chair and hits Yao's back with it, shattering the chair. He eats the leftover pieces, then taunts Yao.)

Barkley: How do you like those shrimp!

(But Yao has an ace up his sleeve; he summons thousands of illegal Chinese workers, and they come in and pummel Barkley. Barkley is left bloodied as Yao pins him for a three count.)

Downs: Wow! Today's team wins the first fall!
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Downs: Choose your second teams!

(The Legends choose Chamberlain. Today's team chooses LeBron.)

LeBron: Kobe, let me show you how the chosen one finishes a team off!

(LeBron go after Wilt, choosing to attack his knees. Chamberlain is stunned; even the life force of his women are no match for LeBron's surgical attacks. But just when James is ready to finish off Wilt, Kobe nails him with a chair in the back of the head.)

Kobe: Chosen one, my ####!

(Chamberlain covers James to even the score.)

Downs: Alright; it's tied 1-1
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Downs: Howard and Reed, you're up.

(Reed approaches the fight with caution; Howard cut an imposing figure in the ring. And Howard has his way with Reed; he slams him a couple of times, then jumps on the top turnbuckle and splahes him.)

Howard: Superman is in the building!

(Howard decides to let Reed get up, but Reed starts clutching his leg.)

Howard: Now to go in for the finish!

(Howard grabs Reed, thinking he's hurt, but Reed hits him with an inside cradle, pinning him for the three count!)

Downs: Incredible! The Legends win the game 2-1!
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Downs: Reed, Chamberlain and Barkley are safe from elimination today. Speaking of Barkley, where is he?

(The cameras pan to Barkley eating another wooden chair.)

Downs: O.K., never mind. Rest up...
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Downs: And get ready for the next event!

(several hours pass)

Downs: Alright, gang! Here's event two; it's a relay race. You'll have three-man teams going back and forth from station 1 to station 2, and whoever does it fastest will win. Select your teams!

(The Legends, smelling victory, choose Erving, Pippen and Baylor. Today's team choose Ginobili, Billups and Duncan.)

Downs: Alright, let's get ready to swim...
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Downs: Gooooo!

(Pippen and Billups start. Pippen gains an early lead, but Billups gains ground after Pippen mysteriously stops and goes to the bench near station 1. Billups keeps a slight lead when they pass off to Ginobili and Baylor. While Baylor struggles with the seas as much as he did with the Clippers, Ginobili thrives because he's used to flopping like a fish. Though Erving puts up a gallant fight, Duncan's steadiness allows Today's team to win!)

Downs: Congrats, Today's team. Duncan, Ginobili and Billups are safe today
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Downs: That's just cruel. Anyway, we'll see you team later for the next elimination course!

(We get to the early evening)

Downs: Alright, we're here for the eliminator!
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Downs: Choose your teams, and good luck!

(Today's team choose Kobe, Pierce, Garnett, Carmelo and McGrady. The Legends choose Jordan, Robertson, Malone, Magic and Bird.)

Downs: Gentleman, start your engines!
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Downs: I knew that would happen!

(Robertson and McGrady start off. Robertson gains a huge lead when McGrady keeps saying to himself (I can't win a big game, I can't win a...". Robertson hands off to Malone, while McGrady cries after tagging to Pierce.)

McGrady: I stink!

(Pierce, who shows much more determination than McGrady, catches Malone, who thought they would be no resistance. They're nearly even after the climb up the hill where they tag to Garnett and Bird.)

Garnett: Two Celtics legends going at it. I know that any...

Bird: Shut up! Dammit, that's annoying!

(Garnett takes a lead going up the treadmill, as Bird struggles to climb up. They reach the court, where they tag to Jordan and Carmelo.)

Jordan: Now I can show people that I'm the best of all-time!
Carmelo: O.K., Mike. Except I'm not Kobe.
Jordan: Oh.

(Jordan and Carmelo's challenge is to put together a jigsaw puzzle. Jordan is agast when it's reveal to be a picture of Jerry Krause.)

Jordan: I should fire you guys; I own the NBA!

(Carmelo has the lead when they get back to the court and tag to Kobe and Magic.)

Kobe: Time to finish this!
Magic: Never fear; Magic is here!

(Their final challenge is simple; to identify the one player who played on the Celtics with both Bill Russell and Larry Bird. While Russell and Bird laugh, Kobe and Magic fume.)

Magic: Why are you giving us a Celtic question?
Downs: Because it's fun!

(As Kobe sctraches his head, LeBron, still smarting from the chair, taunts him.)

LeBron: I'm going to be big in New York!
Kobe: Ah, hell; you should've been there with Don Chaney!
Downs: Correct! Kobe, you and Today's team have won!
Magic: That's not fair; he cheated!
Downs: Who doesn't in the NBA? Today's team wins! Legends, you must vote off a player tonight.

(Night falls. The teams gather in the tribal council square.)

Downs: Alright, Legends. You must pick who will go tonight.
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Today's team, you vote for the one you want gone.

(Today's team votes. It comes out five for Chamberlain, four for Russell, four for Jabbar, and one for LeBron.)

Downs: Who voted for a team member?
(No one raises their hand. LeBron scowls, while Kobe smiles; he got LeBron again!)

Downs: Alright, that's one vote for Chamberlain.
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Downs: Now, Legends, you vote.

(The Legends vote. It comes out ten for Baylor and five for Barkley, whose busy most of the vote eating some ribs he ripped off a live bull prior to joining council.)

Downs: That's it. Elgin, pack your bags and go home
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Baylor: This is worse than being fired by the Clippers!
(Baylor storms off.)

Downs: Well, folks, that's it for today's episode of NBA Survivor...
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Downs: Be sure to tune in next time, when two stars get the boot!
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Downs: See you next time!
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