Before I start, I'd like to thank all of those who sent their well-wishes to my grandmother in my last post. She is doing well, and I thank you for your support. Yesterday, I observed the NFL's rules changes they accepted at their annual owner's meeting, which included the elimination of the force-out rule and the 5-yard facemask (I agree with both) and the limits of hair over the name on the jersey (the Troy Polamanu rule, and it's stupid). In light of that, I made a list of rules changes I'd like to see in other sports. This is a little different from my other lists, in that I'm not ranking them, but listing them according to sport. Here are my modest proposals, ranging from the serious to the silly:
NFL
Chris Henry gets 'Pac-Man' ed: As most of you are aware, Henry got arrested and charged with assault (among other things) on a teenager. The Bengals finally wised up and cut him loose (lest they have another weirdo to go with Ocho Cinco), and the NFL should (and likely will) give him at least a one-year, if not lifetime, ban. Henry simply will not make the right decisions, and playing pro sports is not mandatory, it's earned. He hasn't earned the right to play.
Re-seed in the Wild Card round: This issue will not be voted on until the next meeting, but it makes sense. Why should the Giants last year, at 10-6, go on the road to face the 9-7 Buccaneers? They do it for every other round; do it for the Wild Card, as well.
Dan Synder should be forced to keep his head coach for at least 5 years: Since he bought the Skins in 1999, he has had Norv Turner, Terry Robiskie, Marty Schottenheimer, Steve Spurrier, Joe Gibbs and now Jim Zorn. Only Gibbs lasted more than two full seasons. This rule would make watching the Skins more interesting; can you imagine how Snyder would react when he can't fire a coach?
NBA
No time-outs after calling a time-out: This goes for college basketball, as well. There's not much that's more annoying than, after watching a Viagra commercial during a time-out, coming back, then seeing another TO called, then sitting through a truck commercial. To eliminate that, you'd call a technical foul on the team who calls the TO, then after granting it, the ball goes back to the team that would have inbounded. The game would go much faster with this rule.
If a player doesn't make a legitimate effort to score a field goal when fouled, he gets only one free throw: This is one I've been harping on for two years; players like Manu Ginobili and Chauncey Billups going for fouls, just flinging it in the air, and shooting FTs because they shoot them well. Unless it's a flagrent foul, they shouldn't be rewarded for bending the rules. Give them 1 FT, and force them (mainly Billups, who seems to prefer FTs) to score FGs.
If a player, after shooting, lands on another player's foot (because said defender stepped right under him) and gets injured, defender gets one-game suspension: How often have you seen a player get a sprained ankle, and the reporter says "Look at how it happened; he landed on the defender's foot"? These people shouldn't move directly under someone after they shoot; they're asking for an injury. Suspend them, and maybe then they'll back off after the shot is away.
Oklahoma City gets... absolutely no team!: The way that NBA commissioner David Stern and Sonics 'owner' Clay Bennett have handled this situation is disgraceful. There's no way Oklahoma City should get rewarded for the collusion efforts of Stern and Bennett. Force Bennett to sell to another group of owners, and if O.K. City wants a team, earn it!
NHL
Contract four teams: It may sound like a bad business deal, but the NHL wasn't (and isn't) equipped to handle 30 teams. Reduce it to 26 (meaning four per conference) and you'd eliminate some dead weight that wasn't necessary anyway. The teams? Perhaps Columbus (never really competitive) and Phoenix (too hot for hockey) in the West and Atlanta (see Phoenix) and Florida out East.
MLB
Give the National League a DH rule, or eliminate it in the American League: Enough of this bull about "The leagues need something to be seperate" or something to that effect. There's a reason the AL has dominated the NL; it has way more offense! Most pitchers aren't good hitters, anyway. So give the NL a DH. More hitters could get a job if they did so (I know Barry Bonds must be thrilled by that prospect), and the games between the leagues would be much more competitve.
Intentional walks get you two bases, not one: It sounds silly, but the consequences would be much more intriguing; if a runner was on second with none out, it would be second and third with no outs. And that would make pitchers and managers think twice about those walks!
NASCAR
On random laps, put oil slicks on the turns!: This one is just because I want some laughs, but would you imagine how much more exciting it would be to see the drivers angle to avoid these hazards? It would certainly make the TV product worth watching!
Boxing
Give each weight class one championship belt: One of the major reasons boxing has struggled somewhat is that there are too many 'champions' in each division (at least three!). Remember back when Ali was in his prime? There was just one heavyweight title. If you unify the belts and have one undisputed champ per division, maybe the fans would recognize more of the champs.
Put it on regular TV more often: The fact that most boxing is on PPV makes it hard to know who the best fighters are. Give it a home on ESPN or some network that gives it a regular slot, and people can be exposed to it and maybe like it.
Olympics
If the site has air quality issues, it cannot host the Olympics: Hard to do, but if some of the top athletes are skipping the Olympics (like they are in Beijing), why not? Have a standby site ready in case the primary one isn't. Gives the host city more incentive to actually be ready to host.
Golf
Show us only the rounds by players who matter: I don't care if Tom Thanax hits a bogey! Show me Tiger and Phil! Only those players who people know a lot about, or those at the top of the leaderboard, should be shown.
Speaking of Tiger, give him a +2 score at the start of each major: Just so the field can think they actually have a shot to beat him.
Tennis
For Roger Federer, give him a one set deficit to overcome: See the Tiger rule.
College Football
Eliminate the BCS: You know why; it doesn't produce a legit champ. Get a playoff in order. I'm sure the know-it-alls at the NCAA offices can figure out how to make it where we have a legit champ and they keep the millions they so think they deserve.
Soccer
For five minutes per period, the teams must pull their goalies: The offenses are so abysmal, this would probably be the only thing that could increase offense. Just have your defenders try to stop them.
No more overrun (or whatever it's called) time: This one just just plain stupid, folks. Think about it; they agree to play more (even though it doesn't count in game time) and goals scored are counted as legal goals! That's absurd! Get rid of it!!!
No penalty kicks to decide a championship: Would you decide the Super Bowl on a field goal kickoff? Or the World Series on a home run derby? Hell no! So why should soccer have a title decided on penalty kicks? Play OT, you BLEEP!
All Sports
Mandatory limit on tenure for coaches/executives who consistently fail: Call it the Millen-Thomas-Baylor rule. If you consistently fail (say, 5-7 years with losing records), you must be fired. Force these lasy owners like James Dolan, William Clay Ford, and Donald Sterling to actually care about the fans than about money/their friendship with these guys.
Let's not limit it to sports. Let's do networks.
ESPN
Mute Stepehn A. Smith and Skip Bayless (you can insert your most annoying, as well): They'd be just as effective without sound as they are with!
Allow Smith and Bill Walton to battle in a steel cage on NBA FastBreak: After it ends, at least one will have been knocked out!
CBS
Give Jim Nantz and Billy Packer a third commentator for color: Packer is as exciting as watching a car rust, and he was more effective when NBC had Al McGuire as a third wheel to balance him. So find someone to do that at CBS, as well.
NBC
Force John Madden to actually make a valid point: I don't want to hear, after a hit for example, "That was a big hit."! Give me analysis! That's what you're paid to do, isn't it?
Fox
We don't need the graphics to be kept on the screen the entire game!: Remember during the playoffs, they kept the graphics up telling us that Joe Buck and Troy Aikman were the commentators? As if we didn't know that! Remove them!
There's the list. Have any rules changes you'd like to see, no matter how trivial? Send them here. Until next time, may your party not have Chris Henry!
Super Star