Dodgers....Smodgers the (soon to be) Brooklyn Nets

Williams Bryant James Boone Kristic

June 2008 - Completing the biggest single season turnaround in NBA history, the Boston Celtics defeat the San Antonio Spurs in six games to win the NBA Championship. Kevin Garnett is named Finals MVP.

July 2008 - While on Vacation in Australia, Kobe Bryant tells a Sydney reporter that he can guarantee that he'll never play another game in a Lakers uniform after the team lost 15 of it's final 18 games to finish 38 - 44 and out of the post season. Bryant reportedly says, I'll play in Europe before I play for the Lakers again. The Russian national team calls Bryant to ask if he would like to have dual citizenship.

August 2008 - In a blockbuster trade, the New Jersey Nets trade Vince Carter, Jamaal Magloire and Antione Wright to the Cleveland Cavaliers for Lebron James and Danny Ferry. David Stern announces that the Nets will be investigated for 'tampering' after hip hop mogul Jay Z tells a magazine reporter that the only reason the Nets signed Carter to a three year deal in 2007 was to be able to use his salary to get Lebron. Carter says he and other members of the Nets organization had already spoken James about this in 2007 and that it was in fact Carter's Yankee cap Bron-Bron was sporting during the 2007 ALDS.

September 2008 - Golden State Warriors guard Baron Davis tells reporters at the movie premiere of his film "Diddy Does It Again" (starring Shawn Combs and Davis as two cops trying hard to be Will Smith and Martin Lawrence), that he no longer wants to play in Golden State. This revelation comes two months after teammate Stephen Jackson stabbed rookie Brendan Wright in the parking lot of a strip club for not hustling to the VIP room.

September 2008 - The Nets complete their second blockbuster trade of the summer in a three team deal which sends Jason Kidd to Golden State, Baron Davis and Richard Jefferson to the Lakers and Kobe Bryant to the Nets. The Warriors make this deal even though Kidd has announced that he would be playing his final season in the NBA and really wanted to be near his northern California roots. Reporters from FOX Sports interviewed Stephen Jackson from a jail cell in Oakland where he said he was ecstatic about being able to stab play with Kidd on his farewell tour. Upon leaving Jackson's cell block the FOX Sports crew stopped by the cell block of Lakers owner Jerry Buss to get his comments about the trade. Unfortunately Buss was passed out at the time.

October 2008 - Rapper Snoop Dogg, now using his government name of Calvin Broadus, shows up at Lakers training camp for tryouts. Although Broadus is cut from the team during warm ups, he is offered the GM position which he turns down. Two days later Snoop takes over as GM of the Cleveland Cavaliers.

October 2008 - Inspired by Snoop's tryout, several more rap artists begin popping up at NBA training camps including Master P at the Hornet's camp, Nellie at the Bobcats' camp and Vanilla Ice at the Utah Jazz' opening practice. Rappers and former basketball players Chris Webber and Shaquille O'Neal each show up at Madison Square Garden to try out for the Knicks but are told by Knick's GM Anuka Browne Sanders that because of their sexists lyrics they are not welcome. When O'Neal asked Sanders which sexist lyrics of his was she referring to Sanders replied, "You know, the one where you say, I like a woman that loves a good man...roll her, pat her, put her in a pan". O'Neal is later hired by the NYPD and gives out more tickets in his first three months on the job than any other officer did for the prior year. When asked why he was so fond of issuing tickets to women wearing sensible shoes O'Neal mutters something about Kobe Bryant and Phil Jackson.

November 2008 - After the Knicks begin the season 0 - 15 under head coach Herb Williams, Sanders hires Pat Riley to coach the boys in Gotham. Riley becomes the first head coach in any professional sport to coach his team from a retirement home, using an Xbox 360 to draw up plays and make substitutions.

May 2009 - The Brooklyn Nets, having set an NBA record with 77 wins against 5 losses, announce that after they win the championship they will secede from the NBA and tour the planet playing international teams using the new Rocafella 'bling basketball'. The new ball is encrusted with diamonds and all of the Nets players will now wear platinum 'fronts' during all games. After the Nets cannot find a court surface that can withstand the new ball's impact, the entire team retires and reappears three months later in a Dale Earnhardt commercial.

No, seriously, the players above will be playing for the Nets when they move to Brooklyn, count on it.

In fact buy your season tickets now.